# Garius vs the Rodent Pt 2: Vengeance **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 26, 2004, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garius-vs-the-rodent-pt-2-vengeance/242117 "2004-04-26T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![paulberserker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c4cdca/32.png) [@paulberserker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/paulberserker)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2004, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garius-vs-the-rodent-pt-2-vengeance/242117/21 "2004-04-28T10:45:42Z")
Indeed I am Yoshimitsu. I can also do that thing with my shovel where I jump up on the handle and bounce about with the business end down cutting mice in half. Failing that, I might let you borrow my 9 iron. “If you’re going to say something like that Mr Hill, you’d better have something better than an umbrella behind your back.” “9 Iron?” “Good enough.” \ ---
**Author:** ![curly\_chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ba0ec/32.png) [@curly\_chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curly_chick)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2004, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garius-vs-the-rodent-pt-2-vengeance/242117/22 "2004-04-28T10:56:16Z")
> [@paulberserker](#): > > Failing that, I might let you borrow my 9 iron. You play _ **golf** _? :eek: All your previous posturings as being a hard man are now shot to buggery, you know. Hoist by your own 9 iron. For shame. ---
**Author:** ![garius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e19b73/32.png) [@garius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garius)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2004, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garius-vs-the-rodent-pt-2-vengeance/242117/23 "2004-04-28T11:04:49Z")
Americans have guns. In Britain, however, every man is allowed to own one piece of sporting equipment for the purpose of home defence. So Paul can own a 9 Iron without necessarily playing golf. Personally, i own a rounders bat for this purpose. ---
**Author:** ![curly\_chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ba0ec/32.png) [@curly\_chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curly_chick)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2004, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garius-vs-the-rodent-pt-2-vengeance/242117/24 "2004-04-28T11:11:14Z")
> [@garius](#): > > Personally, i own a rounders bat for this purpose. Yeah, but I heard you are the pin-up boy for the Hoxton rounders team. So that’s probably a gilt leaf ceremonial bat. On a plinth. Fair enough on golf and Mr **Berserker** , though. He is redeemed in my eyes. Consider yourself his redeemer. Now as you mention it, there is a hurley under my stairs and I have no idea where it came from. I could use that, should the need ever arise for mouse attacks. ---
**Author:** ![Jennyrosity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@Jennyrosity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennyrosity)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2004, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garius-vs-the-rodent-pt-2-vengeance/242117/25 "2004-04-28T11:11:15Z")
A rounders bat??? Bwahahahaha!!! I _knew_ you were a big girl! ---
**Author:** ![garius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e19b73/32.png) [@garius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garius)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2004, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garius-vs-the-rodent-pt-2-vengeance/242117/26 "2004-04-28T11:17:43Z")
Rounders Bats rule. A good compromise of flexibility and Power. Although Two by Four is still to be prefered in Zombie situations. > [@curly chick](#): > > Now as you mention it, there is a hurley under my stairs and I have no idea where it came from. Is it Liz? If so, send her my way. ---
**Author:** ![curly\_chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ba0ec/32.png) [@curly\_chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curly_chick)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2004, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garius-vs-the-rodent-pt-2-vengeance/242117/27 "2004-04-28T11:25:45Z")
> [@garius](#): > > Is it Liz? If so, send her my way. Nah, it’s her younger sister Ash. Or is she Oak? Can’t remember now. Either way, I can’t send her to you as then I’d be a sitting duck for the marauding bands of itinerant mouse zombies. ---
**Author:** ![paulberserker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c4cdca/32.png) [@paulberserker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/paulberserker)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2004, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garius-vs-the-rodent-pt-2-vengeance/242117/28 "2004-04-28T11:39:42Z")
Don’t be silly Mo, I only keep it around for hitting things with. Although I did play a round of Crazy Golf yesterday, but thats a different matter all together. ---
**Author:** ![garius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e19b73/32.png) [@garius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garius)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2004, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garius-vs-the-rodent-pt-2-vengeance/242117/29 "2004-04-28T11:42:17Z")
> [@curly chick](#): > > Either way, I can’t send her to you as then I’d be a sitting duck for the marauding bands of itinerant mouse zombies. Exactly - I need a screaming damsel to save! ---
**Author:** ![curly\_chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ba0ec/32.png) [@curly\_chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curly_chick)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2004, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garius-vs-the-rodent-pt-2-vengeance/242117/30 "2004-04-28T11:46:37Z")
> [@garius](#): > > Exactly - I need a screaming damsel to save! What? And that’s be me, would it? Just how loud do you think I can scream? 😃 Tell you what, I’ll pop outside now and give it a go and if you can hear it all that way away, I’ll send you the stick. ---
**Author:** ![Jennyrosity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@Jennyrosity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennyrosity)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2004, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garius-vs-the-rodent-pt-2-vengeance/242117/31 "2004-04-28T11:49:34Z")
> [@curly chick](#): > > Tell you what, I’ll pop outside now and give it a go and if you can hear it all that way away, I’ll send you the stick. You have Posh Spice in your cupboard as well as Liz Hurley??? It must be like an issue of Heat in there. ---
**Author:** ![curly\_chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ba0ec/32.png) [@curly\_chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curly_chick)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2004, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garius-vs-the-rodent-pt-2-vengeance/242117/32 "2004-04-28T11:51:03Z")
> [@Jennyrosity](#): > > You have Posh Spice in your cupboard as well as Liz Hurley??? It must be like an issue of Heat in there. Ask me where I’ve got David Beckham ---
**Author:** ![paulberserker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c4cdca/32.png) [@paulberserker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/paulberserker)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2004, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garius-vs-the-rodent-pt-2-vengeance/242117/33 "2004-04-28T11:52:16Z")
I would imagine you could do a fair Banshee scream there Mo. Also, I have a tennis racket in my living room. But that I fear, wouldn’t be much cop against either mice or zombies. I do have an old metal curtain rail in my bedroom though, which would put a dent in anybodys head, when it comes to ‘pots and pans’ time. ---
**Author:** ![Jennyrosity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@Jennyrosity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennyrosity)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2004, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garius-vs-the-rodent-pt-2-vengeance/242117/34 "2004-04-28T11:52:48Z")
:eek: I think I’m probably too young to know! ---
**Author:** ![garius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e19b73/32.png) [@garius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garius)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2004, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garius-vs-the-rodent-pt-2-vengeance/242117/35 "2004-04-28T12:21:31Z")
my housemate **timbob** used to keep an iron bar in his wardrobe at University ---
**Author:** ![Jennyrosity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@Jennyrosity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennyrosity)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2004, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garius-vs-the-rodent-pt-2-vengeance/242117/36 "2004-04-28T12:29:25Z")
After getting burgled, my mum slept for a while with a Le Creuset frying pan by her bed, before realising it was so heavy she’d have to persuade any intruders to bend down so she could hit them. ---
**Author:** ![curly\_chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ba0ec/32.png) [@curly\_chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curly_chick)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2004, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garius-vs-the-rodent-pt-2-vengeance/242117/37 "2004-04-28T12:37:56Z")
> [@garius](#): > > my housemate **timbob** used to keep an iron bar in his wardrobe at University Well, that’s just charmin’, that is. Here I am, narrowly missing being chucked into the loony bin for standing out in the car park impersonating a banshee (good call, **Paul** ) and you’re in here banging on about the contents of your flatmate’s collegiate closet. :dubious: Hmph. If you were thinking of putting “International rescue swain; Pan-European experience in saving damsels in distress from marauding zombie mice on” your cv, you’d better hope that no one checks your credentials too closely. And as for the hurley - I might administer it to you when I see you next; you old empty promiser, you. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![garius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e19b73/32.png) [@garius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garius)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2004, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garius-vs-the-rodent-pt-2-vengeance/242117/38 "2004-04-28T12:52:02Z")
i don’t make empty promises. Only half full ones. ---
**Author:** ![Crusoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/49beb7/32.png) [@Crusoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crusoe)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2004, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garius-vs-the-rodent-pt-2-vengeance/242117/39 "2004-04-28T17:01:57Z")
> [@garius](#): > > Prove it. I want to see mouse heads on poles. Old-school mouse-traps don’t leave much to impale - there was a definite “pulverising” theme that I had to clear up after. Still, they were more effective than poison - even the world’s stupidest mouse isn’t going to go for a small white plastic dish full of violently green crystals that scream ‘I’m poisonous! Avoid at all costs!’. ---
**Author:** ![Crusoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/49beb7/32.png) [@Crusoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crusoe)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2004, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garius-vs-the-rodent-pt-2-vengeance/242117/40 "2004-04-28T17:04:24Z")
Besides, **Garius** , can’t you just lob all those empty shandy cans and meths bottles in your flat and the damn mouse? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garius-vs-the-rodent-pt-2-vengeance/242117.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garius-vs-the-rodent-pt-2-vengeance/242117.md?page=3)