# Gary Coleman's SHORT? Get it? It's FUNNY! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 12, 2003, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gary-colemans-short-get-it-its-funny/207068 "2003-10-12T23:26:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![balooga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@balooga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/balooga)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2003, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gary-colemans-short-get-it-its-funny/207068/41 "2003-10-13T23:59:00Z")
If gay people come out of the closet… where do midgets come out of??? The cupboard. ---
**Author:** ![London\_Calling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@London\_Calling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/London_Calling)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gary-colemans-short-get-it-its-funny/207068/42 "2003-10-14T00:06:29Z")
Coincidentally, I was talking evolution at a drinks party this past weekend with a woman who suggested short women look to mate with unusally tall men in order to “even it out”, as she put it. Not usually consciously, but if consciously then they rationalise it in other terms; “my father was tall”, etc. And to be fair to the woman, you do see some of that about (short birds, tall geezers - but not 'tother way around). Anyway, I responded with my usual line in these circumstances about ovulating women, and tried to put my hand up her skirt. To be honest, I have no idea, but then no one does, I suppose. It’s all conjecture and theory save for the single certainty that we are – when all the modern malarkey is stripped away - beasts of the field. Excuse me, I need a long lie . . . . ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gary-colemans-short-get-it-its-funny/207068/43 "2003-10-14T00:06:35Z")
**Isabelle** - don’t post the lyrics to entire songs. “Short People” isn’t politcally incorrect, either. (IMHO) ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gary-colemans-short-get-it-its-funny/207068/44 "2003-10-14T00:10:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Isabelle \* > \*\*I used to love that song by Randy Newman…“Short People” > I guess it is not politically correct these days. > > Short People got no reason > Short People got no reason > Short People got no reason > To live > > _Full lyrics removed - CF_ \*\* Don’t post full lyrics to songs, as this is a breach of our (and no doubt, mr Newman’s) copyright rules. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Wendell\_Wagner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8491ac/32.png) [@Wendell\_Wagner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wendell_Wagner)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gary-colemans-short-get-it-its-funny/207068/45 "2003-10-14T01:07:55Z")
balooga writes: \> If gay people come out of the closet… where do midgets come \> out of??? The cupboard. My guess was that they come out of the footlocker. That was a pretty weak joke when I made it 32 years ago when I started the Short Rights movement. Now it’s both weak and really old. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gary-colemans-short-get-it-its-funny/207068/46 "2003-10-14T03:30:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lissener \* > Thanks Eve, now I’ll have k.d. lang’s “Big Boned Gal” in my head _all day._ There’s a joke here about k.d. lang and head, but I can’t find it… ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gary-colemans-short-get-it-its-funny/207068/47 "2003-10-14T05:08:01Z")
[Phil Fondacaro](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0284496/) I watch a lot of B movies. Phil turns up often. I’ve realised for a while that he’s quite a good actor. But when I saw him in [The Creeps](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0284496/) , it was one best Dracula performances I had ever seen (The best will always be Bela.). Phil was noble, frightening, primal, and erotic. Watching him in this film, I realized that he’d be an A list star with Oscars if he wasn’t a dwarf. Instead, his latest role is another turn as one of Santa’s elves. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gary-colemans-short-get-it-its-funny/207068/48 "2003-10-14T05:55:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Biggirl \* > \*\*I gotta admit I laughed when the Comedy Central reporter standing outside of Coleman’s election headquaters was actually standing in front of a dollhouse. > > I laughed too when Gary read Letterman’s Top Ten List of Things I’ll Do Once I’m Elected and number 2 was “I would form a task force to find out exactly what Willis was talking about” > > I also laughed when Chris Farley did his Flashdance routine. > > There is no hope for me, is there? \*\* :eek: _Chris Farley_ did that TOO? Now, _de mortuis nil nisi bonum_ and all that as a rule, but, “Way to rip off Belushi, Chris.” ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gary-colemans-short-get-it-its-funny/207068/49 "2003-10-14T07:42:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\*I’m not a dwarf or a midget, and I don’t even know any dwarves or midgets, but jeez, I feel sorry for them! I mean, it’s not something you can _hide_. \*\* You evil piece of shit that should never have been extruded out of an armadillo’s leprous asshole **Eve**. Do you also feel sorry for niggers because of their skin colour? The term midget is as offensive to most little people as the n-word to people of African decent. Especially one who makes judgement without even knowing any “dwarves or midgets”. To alll you average sized people out there who are making cheap jokes based on someone’s height, would you all please **fuck off and die**. My stepson has achondroplasia, he’s only 3’10" at the age of 17. He’s not funny, he’s a great kid who kust happens to be short. If anyone is interested, please follow **Francesca’s** link to the [Little people of America](http://www.lpaonline.org/). Yu might learn not to be so fucking prejudiced in future. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gary-colemans-short-get-it-its-funny/207068/50 "2003-10-14T07:51:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Captain Amazing \* > \*\*But, **Fang** , it takes Diff’rent Strokes to move the world. \*\* Yes, it does. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gary-colemans-short-get-it-its-funny/207068/51 "2003-10-14T07:57:19Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Tapioca Dextrin_ > The term midget is as offensive to most little people … Leprechauns? ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gary-colemans-short-get-it-its-funny/207068/52 "2003-10-14T08:26:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by London\_Calling \* > \*\*Pah! [**Time Bandits**](http://www.imdb.com/M/title-exact?+Time+Bandits) - the damn thing starred hat-fulls of dwarfs. > > And check out the whole cast, impressive stuff. \*\* Though last time I saw it, the TV guide listed the famous members of cast above the dwarves :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 9:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gary-colemans-short-get-it-its-funny/207068/53 "2003-10-14T09:35:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Miller \* > \*\*Leprechauns? \*\* If you find that making jokes about people who are physically different to you is amusing, might I sugggest you post those thoughts in a more appropriate forum. I believe you will find a kind welcome at several white supremacist groups. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 10:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gary-colemans-short-get-it-its-funny/207068/54 "2003-10-14T10:30:46Z")
Jesus! Froth at the mouth much? ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gary-colemans-short-get-it-its-funny/207068/55 "2003-10-14T13:13:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tapioca Dextrin \* > \*\*You evil piece of shit that should never have been extruded out of an armadillo’s leprous asshole **Eve**. > > Do you also feel sorry for niggers because of their skin colour? The term midget is as offensive to most little people as the n-word to people of African decent. Especially one who makes judgement without even knowing any “dwarves or midgets”. > > To alll you average sized people out there who are making cheap jokes based on someone’s height, would you all please **fuck off and die**. My stepson has achondroplasia, he’s only 3’10" at the age of 17. He’s not funny, he’s a great kid who kust happens to be short. > If anyone is interested, please follow **Francesca’s** link to the [Little people of America](http://www.lpaonline.org/). Yu might learn not to be so fucking prejudiced in future. \*\* Um, **Tapioca** , did you even _read_ my OP? Or, rather, were you able to string the words together into some kind of logical idea? Obviously not. If you had the intelligence of a groundhog, you would understand what I was saying . . . Oh, why bother, you’re too damned stupid to even correct. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gary-colemans-short-get-it-its-funny/207068/56 "2003-10-14T13:24:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\*I’m not going to claim they’re the “last group it’s permissable to laugh at,” because it’s still open season on fat people and the transgendered, too. > > Jesus–can you imagine being a fat, transgendered midget? I’d kill myself as soon as I was old enough to get the pills. \*\* Yes, **Eve** , I did read your OP. Read your own words. Unless I’m missing a big slice of irony, then you think it’s OK to laugh at people just because they are different to you. If you were being ironic, then I most certainly apologise, but if you’re the sort of person who would laugh at my stepson in the street, rather than speaking to him, then I stand by everthing I said. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gary-colemans-short-get-it-its-funny/207068/57 "2003-10-14T13:33:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tapioca Dextrin \* > \*\*Yes, **Eve** , I did read your OP. Read your own words. Unless I’m missing a big slice of irony, then you think it’s OK to laugh at people just because they are different to you. > > If you were being ironic, then I most certainly apologise, but if you’re the sort of person who would laugh at my stepson in the street, rather than speaking to him, then I stand by everthing I said. \*\* “Ironic?” I said flat-out in short, easy-to-understand words that I thought it was wrong to make fun of Gary Coleman for being short. _How goddam difficult was that to understand?_ Everyone else seemed to have gotten it. If I’d known I had to do it in words of one syllable, with pictures, I’d have provided them. I don’t feel sorry for your stepson because he’s short—I feel sorry for him because he’s going to have to spend his life explaining simple concepts to _you_. ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gary-colemans-short-get-it-its-funny/207068/58 "2003-10-14T13:37:46Z")
Whoa, **Tapioca** , calm down. You’re not going to help anybody by jumping people like that. A) Eve was not trying to be offensive. B) A lot of people don’t know that midget is considered rude. “Look, a midget! Hey, everybody!” is deliberately rude. “I knew a midget in high school,” is not. I’m 4’2", though I have a different condition than your son. And sometimes it’s pretty funny. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gary-colemans-short-get-it-its-funny/207068/59 "2003-10-14T13:44:03Z")
P.S. I find the term “little people” to be incredibly offensive and condescending. I don’t care if there is an association with that name, how could anyone not be insulted by it? ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gary-colemans-short-get-it-its-funny/207068/60 "2003-10-14T13:54:19Z")
I don’t like it myself, Eve. It especially grates when you hear people refer to small children as “little people.” It’s a term that was coined to try to group “dwarfs” and “midgets” together, since “midget” mean that you were proportional while “dwarf” meant you weren’t. It’s a compromise, and rapidly becoming dated as well. I think the reason midget bugs people so much is because it came out of the human oddity/freak show tradition in the late 19th century. What about “short-statured?” That’s another term I’ve heard. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gary-colemans-short-get-it-its-funny/207068.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gary-colemans-short-get-it-its-funny/207068.md?page=4)