# "Gathering Storm" - Awful anti-gay marriage commercial **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 17, 2009, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gathering-storm-awful-anti-gay-marriage-commercial/493385 "2009-04-17T04:22:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2009, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gathering-storm-awful-anti-gay-marriage-commercial/493385/21 "2009-04-17T21:40:20Z")
Did you know that if gay marriage becomes legal in all fifty states, heterosexual marriage will be banned? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2009, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gathering-storm-awful-anti-gay-marriage-commercial/493385/22 "2009-04-17T22:20:21Z")
> [@Kolga](#): > > That comes next. They’ve gotta order in the rainbow handcuffs to lock the people together in their forced same-sex marriageness. What if there’s an odd number of women in my city? Do I have to wait for the next girl to turn 18? Or can I just marry my cats and be done? ---
**Author:** ![PatriotGrrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9dc877/32.png) [@PatriotGrrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatriotGrrrl)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2009, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gathering-storm-awful-anti-gay-marriage-commercial/493385/23 "2009-04-17T22:50:48Z")
> [@apollonia](#): > > I think I missed the part where crazed Iowa judges dragged innocent folks out of their homes and married them to the nearest same-sex person they could find, willy-nilly. Wouldn’t that be willy-willy? ---
**Author:** ![kasuo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8c91f0/32.png) [@kasuo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kasuo)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2009, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gathering-storm-awful-anti-gay-marriage-commercial/493385/24 "2009-04-17T23:45:59Z")
> [@bup](#): > > Did you know that if gay marriage becomes legal in all fifty states, heterosexual marriage will be banned? I heard that somewhere. ---
**Author:** ![satoridt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@satoridt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/satoridt)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2009, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gathering-storm-awful-anti-gay-marriage-commercial/493385/25 "2009-04-17T23:54:10Z")
> [@PatriotGrrrl](#): > > Wouldn’t that be willy-willy? HA! ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2009, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gathering-storm-awful-anti-gay-marriage-commercial/493385/26 "2009-04-18T00:55:18Z")
> [@bup](#): > > Did you know that if gay marriage becomes legal in all fifty states, heterosexual marriage will be banned? We’ll have far more to worry about, what with, per the prophecies, the crops failing and the brimstone falling and the land being cast into perpetual darkness and the plagues of yapping unhousebroken zombie Pomeranians being unleashed from Hell and every fertile female being mysteriously impregnated with a clone of Clay Aiken (except for the lesbians, who’ll be producing Rosie O’Donnell clones). ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2009, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gathering-storm-awful-anti-gay-marriage-commercial/493385/27 "2009-04-18T01:27:45Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > . > > “Oh no, the homo-storm got me!” And I thought hurricanes were bad. Class 5 is one thing, but Class Fabulous is a whole nuther sack of nuts. Popeye voice: Well, blow me down! ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2009, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gathering-storm-awful-anti-gay-marriage-commercial/493385/28 "2009-04-18T02:12:51Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > “Oh no, the homo-storm got me!” Run, Forrest, Run ! ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2009, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gathering-storm-awful-anti-gay-marriage-commercial/493385/29 "2009-04-18T02:31:36Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > And I thought hurricanes were bad. My sister, a hardcore fundamentalist (and hardening) once explained a hurricane that hit the panhandle of Florida as God’s wrath for the gay pride parade in Pensacola. The fact that Pensacola was among the least affected places, that it mainly struck about 60 miles away, and that it tore up far more churches and trailer parks and poor neighborhoods and bridges than it did bars or gay businesses of course was irrelevant, it was - per my good lady sister- “God’s way of sayin’ 'If you pansies wanna blow job I’ll show ya one… WHOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!” (To her credit sort of she didn’t seem to think this was the case with New Orleans- that was more God’s anger at the Democrats and voodoo.) ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2009, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gathering-storm-awful-anti-gay-marriage-commercial/493385/30 "2009-04-18T02:37:40Z")
I thought the reason so many hurricanes hit Florida was because Disney lets gays hold events at their park? At least that’s what Pat Robertson says. Of course, he also says we should kill Hugo Chavez and that he can bench-press thousands of pounds with his legs. ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2009, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gathering-storm-awful-anti-gay-marriage-commercial/493385/31 "2009-04-18T02:40:09Z")
> [@mobo85](#): > > [Here’s Colbert’s take on it along with his parody](http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/224789/april-16-2009/the-colbert-coalition-s-anti-gay-marriage-ad). I’m surprised he didn’t make a joke about the “rainbow coalition” line. Small hijack: does anyone recognize that lady who says she was in commercials? ---
**Author:** ![Linty\_Fresh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Linty\_Fresh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linty_Fresh)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2009, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gathering-storm-awful-anti-gay-marriage-commercial/493385/32 "2009-04-18T02:45:57Z")
> [@bup](#): > > Did you know that if gay marriage becomes legal in all fifty states, heterosexual marriage will be banned? No, that’s what’ll happen if the gayz take over the churches. I’d say the fact that the Catholics still allow heterosexual marriages pretty much blows this theory out of the water. The Council of Heterosexual Priests recently made a statement about teaching homosexuality in public schools, and man, both of them were _pissed!_ If gay marriage becomes legal in all 50 states, all that will happen is that we’d be allowed to marry our dogs. What’s my name, bitch!! ---
**Author:** ![Frostillicus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Frostillicus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frostillicus)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2009, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gathering-storm-awful-anti-gay-marriage-commercial/493385/33 "2009-04-18T04:07:58Z")
As a public school teacher, I must say that the best part of my day is when I teach kids that gay marriage is OK. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2009, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gathering-storm-awful-anti-gay-marriage-commercial/493385/34 "2009-04-18T04:25:56Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > My sister, a hardcore fundamentalist (and hardening) once explained a hurricane that hit the panhandle of Florida as God’s wrath for the gay pride parade in Pensacola. The fact that Pensacola was among the least affected places, that it mainly struck about 60 miles away, and that it tore up far more churches and trailer parks and poor neighborhoods and bridges than it did bars or gay businesses of course was irrelevant, it was - per my good lady sister- “God’s way of sayin’ 'If you pansies wanna blow job I’ll show ya one… WHOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!” (To her credit sort of she didn’t seem to think this was the case with New Orleans- that was more God’s anger at the Democrats and voodoo.) Question-your sister does know that YOU’RE gay, right? (Just curious) “Gathering Storm”-gives a whole new meaning to “It’s Raining Men”, doesn’t it? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![GameHat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ed655f/32.png) [@GameHat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GameHat)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2009, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gathering-storm-awful-anti-gay-marriage-commercial/493385/35 "2009-04-18T04:43:51Z")
Wow. Just…wow. I really want an explanation - in the original (and disgusting) ad, two of the voices say, “They want to bring the issue into _my_ life”, and then “_My_ freedom will be taken away” Oh, I’m so sorry that _your_ life will be affected (though it’s not clear how - fark all, ignore the issue if it bothers you so much) by people trying to gain equal rights. I can imagine this particular sentiment back during the civil rights movement. And exactly what part of _your_ freedom is affected in any way by another person’s marriage? Man, I wish I hadn’t seen that ad. I’m going to be angry all night now. …the parody is gold, though. “Some who advocate for same-sex marriage have taken the issue far beyond _American_ same-sex couples to gay couples who are also illegal immigrants.” 😛 ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2009, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gathering-storm-awful-anti-gay-marriage-commercial/493385/36 "2009-04-18T04:50:09Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > (To her credit sort of she didn’t seem to think this was the case with New Orleans- that was more God’s anger at the Democrats and voodoo.) If it helps, my wife is convinced, and can point to chapter and verse of his speech, Pope John Paul II’s trip to Cuba, despite his longtime anti-commie cred, was really in response to the rise of Santería in the 51st State. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2009, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gathering-storm-awful-anti-gay-marriage-commercial/493385/37 "2009-04-18T05:00:53Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > I suspect they’re trying to “reclaim” rainbows. I think the purpose is to imply that their side is just as diverse. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2009, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gathering-storm-awful-anti-gay-marriage-commercial/493385/38 "2009-04-18T05:02:40Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > And I thought hurricanes were bad. > > Class 5 is one thing, but Class Fabulous is a whole nuther sack of nuts. > > Popeye voice: > > Well, blow me down! I think you mean Captain Feathersword. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2009, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gathering-storm-awful-anti-gay-marriage-commercial/493385/39 "2009-04-18T17:39:51Z")
No, I think he means Lt. Bunny Wigglesworth. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2009, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gathering-storm-awful-anti-gay-marriage-commercial/493385/40 "2009-04-21T20:29:49Z")
A [new spoof](http://www.salon.com/mwt/broadsheet/2009/04/21/gaythering_storm/index.html) is up–with celebrities! 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gathering-storm-awful-anti-gay-marriage-commercial/493385.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gathering-storm-awful-anti-gay-marriage-commercial/493385.md?page=3)