# Gave a girl my #, no communication, what to do? (Poll) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 16, 2014, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gave-a-girl-my-no-communication-what-to-do-poll/698621 "2014-09-16T02:36:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Inna\_Minnit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Inna\_Minnit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inna_Minnit)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2014, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gave-a-girl-my-no-communication-what-to-do-poll/698621/41 "2014-09-16T19:56:54Z")
Even if I want to get to know you better, I am not making the first phone call. But I am of a different generation than this young lady. Perhaps things are different now. The thing is, if she didn’t give you her number, she’s not interested. Why not go to the library and chat her up? ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2014, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gave-a-girl-my-no-communication-what-to-do-poll/698621/42 "2014-09-16T20:16:36Z")
> [@njtt](#): > > Me either. I do not understand the degree of negativity, and I find it quite dismaying. > **But** > there is a very active meme out there now amongst the feminists that for women to have to deal with “unwanted sexual advances” is really, really terrible for them, and that men need to learn to _never_ make sexual advances to women unless explicitly invited to do so. (I have seen that sentiment explicitly express on one of the more left-wing message boards I sometimes visit.) > > I think this whole “movement” is absolutely disgusting - it is putting a huge, utterly unreasonable burden on men in order to avoid what is, at most, a very small burden of irritation or embarrassment on women - and I am pretty sure that if men actually did learn that lesson the vast majority of women would be horrified by the results. However, this idea does seem to be the latest preoccupation to be the latest product of the feminist echo-chamber, and I am seeing it all over the left side of the web these days. Perhaps some people here are affected by it (even if they would not buy into the whole idea when voiced explicitly). > > Of course, people are quite right that the signs are not too good for **Incensed** , but he has suffered nothing like a definitive rejection, and there are all sorts of plausible reasons why she might not have called and might not have responded on Facebook despite actually being interested. One more try is definitely worth it. As I said before, there is nothing to lose and everything to gain. I think that, if she truly isn’t interested, an email would cause less embarrassment for both parties (and if she does not reply, then, no doubt, it is high time to give up), but **Princhester** is undoubtedly right that approaching her in person and explicitly asking her out is more likely to get a positive response. Even prompted by an email, she might still be too shy to call, even though she wants to. When will we poor men stop being oppressed by all these feminists? It’s an outrage, I tell you! ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2014, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gave-a-girl-my-no-communication-what-to-do-poll/698621/43 "2014-09-17T05:20:19Z")
> [@simster](#): > > Look, you checked her out, she’s overdue - pay the fine and move on. But she’s not actually stamped _Ex Libris_, so there could still be a chance. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2014, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gave-a-girl-my-no-communication-what-to-do-poll/698621/44 "2014-09-17T05:31:38Z")
> [@Penfeather](#): > > But she’s not actually stamped _Ex Libris_, so there could still be a chance. dewey have to wait for that? If so, my submission is withdrawn. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2014, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gave-a-girl-my-no-communication-what-to-do-poll/698621/45 "2014-09-17T22:13:09Z")
> [@Inna\_Minnit](#): > > Even if I want to get to know you better, I am not making the first phone call. But I am of a different generation than this young lady. Perhaps things are different now. The thing is, if she didn’t give you her number, she’s not interested. > > Why not go to the library and chat her up? I believe he implied that (he said he hasn’t seen her in person), so that’s probably out. She’s not into, dude. Let it go and move on. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2014, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gave-a-girl-my-no-communication-what-to-do-poll/698621/46 "2014-09-17T23:25:49Z")
> [@Incensed](#): > > I really don’t understand the face to face behavior if she wasn’t interested. I’m with you there. I could tell you tales. However, there is some weirdness going on in the dating game, for which we can never account. I think she was for you, till something went wrong. Maybe her hormones drove her all of the ‘good’ times. Maybe you scratched yourself at the wrong time, in the wrong place. Maybe she didn’t like your clothing scheme. She coulda dug you till you gave her your number, instead of asking hers. Maybe you moved too slow/fast. At any rate, at 16 MOL days, you’re outta there. (This is under normal circumstances. There could be some bizarre activity afoot, but, it would have to be _bizarre_, and the odds are a jillion to one against anything \*that \*bizarre.) ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2014, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gave-a-girl-my-no-communication-what-to-do-poll/698621/47 "2014-09-17T23:28:36Z")
nm; tl;dr, and all of my jokes were taken. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2014, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gave-a-girl-my-no-communication-what-to-do-poll/698621/48 "2014-09-17T23:34:49Z")
> [@njtt](#): > > Of course, people are quite right that the signs are not too good for **Incensed** , but he has suffered nothing like a definitive rejection, and there are all sorts of plausible reasons why she might not have called and might not have responded on Facebook despite actually being interested. One more try is definitely worth it. As I said before, there is nothing to lose and everything to gain. I think that, if she truly isn’t interested, an email would cause less embarrassment for both parties (and if she does not reply, then, no doubt, it is high time to give up), but **Princhester** is undoubtedly right that approaching her in person and explicitly asking her out is more likely to get a positive response. Even prompted by an email, she might still be too shy to call, even though she wants to. A. \*\*Incensed \*\*hasn’t received a definitive rejection, but, he has received a definitive _ignorral_. (Is that even a word?) Smell the coffee. B. There are all sorts of plausible reasons why she might not have called, within the first 2 _days_. After that (well, even well before that) there is only one plausible reason. C. If you can’t understand the negative results of the poll, it is: \*\*Incensed \*\*is out, and everybody knows it but you. It’s the way of the world. Two weeks plus isn’t ‘just not into you’. It is ‘hiding out from you when you come to the library’. BTW, play it smart. She didn’t lose your number. ---
**Author:** ![Namkcalb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c89c15/32.png) [@Namkcalb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Namkcalb)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2014, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gave-a-girl-my-no-communication-what-to-do-poll/698621/49 "2014-09-17T23:55:14Z")
I’m assuming a rejection, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the next time you come to the library (at your normal time) she tells you about the wonderful holiday she’s been on. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2014, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gave-a-girl-my-no-communication-what-to-do-poll/698621/50 "2014-09-18T02:05:35Z")
> [@handsomeharry](#): > > I’m with you there. I could tell you tales. However, there is some weirdness going on in the dating game, for which we can never account. I think she was for you, till something went wrong. Maybe her hormones drove her all of the ‘good’ times. Maybe you scratched yourself at the wrong time, in the wrong place. Maybe she didn’t like your clothing scheme. She coulda dug you till you gave her your number, instead of asking hers. Maybe you moved too slow/fast. > At any rate, at 16 MOL days, you’re outta there. > (This is under normal circumstances. There could be some bizarre activity afoot, but, it would have to be _bizarre_, and the odds are a jillion to one against anything \*that \*bizarre.) Or, she had every intention of following up - and got a text from a guy she’s wanted to go out with for a long time. Or got home to news that her mother is ill and said “no new dating right now.” In other words, it might not have anything at all to do with you. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2014, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gave-a-girl-my-no-communication-what-to-do-poll/698621/51 "2014-09-18T02:56:47Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > O… it might not have anything at all to do with you. Which, as I see it, is the problem! ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2014, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gave-a-girl-my-no-communication-what-to-do-poll/698621/52 "2014-09-18T14:31:39Z")
Dude, you should have asked her for her number…not given her yours. If she says she doesn’t feel comfortable giving you her number…well boom there’s your answer. She may be a more traditional girl, and want to be pursued as opposed to doing the pursuing. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2014, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gave-a-girl-my-no-communication-what-to-do-poll/698621/53 "2014-09-18T14:47:15Z")
The OP hasn’t replied in a while, don’t know if he will. Go see her in person, find her, and see how that encounter goes. If the signs are hopeful, ask her to coffee. You have nothing to lose. ---
**Author:** ![awldune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@awldune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/awldune)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2014, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gave-a-girl-my-no-communication-what-to-do-poll/698621/54 "2014-09-18T14:51:50Z")
I was going to say try to catch her at the library again, but it sounds like you’ve been trying that. I think I would move on. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gave-a-girl-my-no-communication-what-to-do-poll/698621.md?page=2)