These crooks prey on people, so anything that wastes their time or upsets them is good.
I have used:
Yes, whenever I get a call from “Cardholder services” I just put the line on hold and leave it. Takes none of my time and wastes at least some of theirs.
I’ve:
[ul]
[li]given the phone to my 5 year-old (on speaker) and got him to ask them about India.[/li][li]asked what the weather in Pakistan is like (this can get you sworn at).[/li][li]told them I’ve gone to their web-page but my anti-malware keeps redirecting me to www. dontbefuckingstupid .com **[/li][li]ask them to hold for a moment, put the phone down and gone to work.[/li][/ul]
**Broke the link as, on preview, there is a place holder site for that URL
The last one apparently decided I sounded like a kid, so I just wound up pretending mummy wasn’t in for 10 minutes.
Well, not really pretending, seeing as she lives a few hundred miles away, but still…
ROFLMAO I think that is an fantastic idea!
Not only does it waste their time, but if more people just strung them along, maybe they would quit. I once saw a You-tube show of a guy who was IRL a Microsoft employee and recorded the entire conversation accompanied by screen shots. He had a special computer that he would allow him to accept a virus and then wipe it clean since this is what he did for a living. I think someone on TSD referenced it.
Lately when I get a call I try to make myself sound very vulnerable and mention things like “fixed income,” “heart medication” and “dining on cat food.” I also mix in a recently deceased spouse. I’m hoping that once, just once, a scammer will show a conscience and hang up. I always end with something like “I just informed you that I have little money which I need for heart medication to keep me alive, that I eat cat food because I’m poor and that my wife just died, and you still went forward with your scam? Your mom must be so proud.” Sometimes I’ll throw in some four and twelve letter words for a little panache.
They always call when I’m making dinner, so I put them on speaker phone and keep cooking. We like to call it Dinner Theater.
I like your style. Take an annoying scammer and get some amusement out of them. Can you teach me the twelve letter words? That’s really advanced cussing!
At work we got the copier toner scam guys who call. The scam is that they send you an invoice for printer cartridges they never sent (but match the printer you have because the called to ask) or send you grossly overpriced toner cartridges. Either way they call you first to get the model of your copier.
Anyway, one called saying ‘my order’ was just ready to ship but he needed to know the model number of our copier. Mind you we don’t have a copier in this building of the company (printers, yes. Copiers, no). I was in a mood so I decided to fuck with this guy and asked him if which one, the Bearhead* or the copier in Marketing. The conversation went kinda like this:
Him: Umm, the burhead? I think?
Me: Oh? You think? The Bearhead? That one?
Him: Uhh, yes. Yes that one (he was sound more reassured after mispronouncing ‘bearhead’)
Me: That one? Are you a new vendor? That copier is a California Technics 3300** and its a monster. Only a couple of companies make toner for it in the entire country.
Him: Yes. We are new, but we do supply all models and makes of copiers.
Me: huh, odd. Those cartridges cost $20,000 and only need replacing once a year. I could swear we replaced it a month ago.
Him: Well, err, it might be for the other copier you said was…
Me; In marketing?
Him: Yes. That one.
Me: I’m not in Marketing.
HIm: Can you find out?
Me: I’m not going into marketing. I hate those guys and they hate me!
Him: Well we need to know to process this order.
Me: Alright, I’ll transfer you to marketing.
I put him on hold and watched the light blink for 4-5 minutes before he hung up.
There is a Technics SL-3300 turntable.
You might ask the guy if he has a tone arm.
These fuckwads (the Indian computer-fixer scammers) called my house at 11:40 p.m. one night last week. After being jolted awake and then enduring an I’m-going-to-murder-someone adrenaline rush from being so pissed off, it took me an hour and a half to get back to sleep. Anything bad that ever happens to these people, I’m pretty much on board with.
My favorite reply to the copier scam people- I think I heard of this here at SDMB- is that when you go to the copier for the serial number, come back and tell them that it’s “4.” Insist that you found the tag or marker they’re talking about and all it says is “4.” “No, really, it says ‘Serial Number,’ and the only thing after that is ‘4.’”
I had a non-scammer but still someone who wanted to do outsourcing of “your company’s IT needs”. I told him that we “didn’t believe in IT or needs”.
And then I kept him engaged for over an hour but the crux of the discussion went as follows…
Spammer: What do you do there?
Me: We are a bakery
Spammer: Do you have a website or email?
Me: No just phone and fax
Spammer: you can get more customers if you advertise on the internet
Me: We don’t want any more customers, we have too many already. We got a good review 3 years ago in the local paper and the basterds still line up outside.
Spammer: [seeing an opportunity to expand on his own business] Well have you thought about expanding and maybe opening a new store?
Me: have you been to other bakeries? Their food is crap, not nearly as good as mine and they are like three times the price!
Spammer: That’s what I mean, you should open up a new location… and I can help you.
Me: I don’t want to open a new location, I can’t make all of the cakes and breads now… how can I make more?
Meanwhile, I had to keep excusing myself to help another customer, with the breaks often going over 5 minutes. He called back every day for a week trying to convince me that he would help me expand the business and he had been doing some investigation into the competition and even found a building downtown. It was my most brilliant lie ever, he couldn’t find any internet information about my [non-existant] bakery because we didn’t want an internet presence. By the third call, I was just channeling the Jerky Boyz to him and saying no to all of his ideas, but he just couldn’t see why I couldn’t make more money and give him a small share for his help.
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All in all, I have to agree with control-z, messing with scammers is awesome!
There are lots of posts about scambaiting (similar to this) at the 419 Eater forum. I haven’t read it in awhile. I remember a really good one (with photographic evidence!) where this guy strung along a Nigerian scammer and wasted *weeks *of the guy’s time.