# Gay and AIDS are not synonyms, dammit! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 2, 2002, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-and-aids-are-not-synonyms-dammit/106922 "2002-05-02T20:08:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-and-aids-are-not-synonyms-dammit/106922/61 "2002-05-08T16:31:21Z")
I don’t know, **scott** - **The Ryan** has had difficulty in the past with the concepts of homosexuality, romance, sex, and dating, putting them all together, and trying to understand them… Esprix ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-and-aids-are-not-synonyms-dammit/106922/62 "2002-05-08T17:33:19Z")
I also find it interstign the gay posters who have been most vocal about their sexual experience–\*\*Matt, Esprix, Scott Evil, \*\* and your friendly, neighborhood **Gobear** –have all tested negative for HIV. Do you think maybe we know what we’re talking about? ---
**Author:** ![jaytini2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@jaytini2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jaytini2)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-and-aids-are-not-synonyms-dammit/106922/63 "2002-05-08T17:34:46Z")
ok, i admitting right now that i haven’t finished reading all the posts…but here are some of my thoughts and observations… when i came out to my mom her first two questions (actually the first two things she said at all) were 1. You are going to get AIDS, aren’t you? 2. You haven’t touched any of the little kids you babysat for, have you? when i told my friends, most of them were great, however, some said that they were concerned that i might get AIDS, and they had to be careful around me…they have since come around. and this wasn’t THAT long ago, i would say 1995 or 6. When my landlord passed away from complications from AIDS, my straight female roommate said that she was concerned that my boyfriend and i were going to get AIDS…from all appearances my boyfriend and i are in a monogamous relationship, she has more “unprotected” sex with different people than i ever had. When i quote unprotected, i do so cause…“well i am on the pill, i don’t have to worry about getting pregnant…” When i mentioned to a friend of mine that i had a huge crush on a bartender from the local strip club (well, it’s sort of local, it’s in dc) she said i should be careful, she always worries abou me and AIDS. When i have discussions about trysts i have had in the past, conversations with good friends that you should be able to talk to about these things, the first question is always…are you careful? not, wow, crazy, was it good, do you like him, what were you thinking, are you going to do it again…nope, just “were you safe?” i grew up with AIDS in the news, i myself was afraid to come out, cause i thought if i did, i would be a candidate for the disease, probably cause i saw those GAY=Got Aids Yet signs. I never got to experience the level of sexual freedom some people did. but GOD who i long for the day when i don’t have to hear that stupid were you safe question again…i ache for the day when my gut reaction doesn’t have to be one of dissapointment that my friends…MY FRIENDS, who are supposedly smart intelligent intellectual educated people, who also happen to be women who are having unsafe sex, won’t think that i am the ONLY one in these conversations that has anything to worry about… and sometimes i wonder if it is just our cross to bear, through no fault of our own…but look, the price was high, but acceptance of homosexuals today is LEAPS AND BOUNDS better than ever before, and i think SOME of it has to do with the AIDS crisis. i’m not sure if i made any sense, but i have wanted to rant about this for a while. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-and-aids-are-not-synonyms-dammit/106922/64 "2002-05-08T17:35:09Z")
I also find it interesting that the gay posters who have been most vocal about their sexual experience– **Matt, Esprix, Scott Evil** , and your friendly, neighborhood **Gobear** –have all recently tested negative for HIV. Do you think maybe we know about safer sex precautions? ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-and-aids-are-not-synonyms-dammit/106922/65 "2002-05-08T19:17:39Z")
Perfect sense, **Jaytini**. Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-and-aids-are-not-synonyms-dammit/106922/66 "2002-05-08T20:57:45Z")
> [@](#): > > and sometimes i wonder if it is just our cross to bear, through no fault of our own…but look, the price was high, but acceptance of homosexuals today is LEAPS AND BOUNDS better than ever before, and i think SOME of it has to do with the AIDS crisis. I think you’re right, in part. Sure it was seen as “the gay disease” but most people (hey, even Jesse Helms!) have learned otherwise. Magic Johnson helped that. I’d add to the package the Matthew Shepherd story – guy who looks like a cute little boy, killed simply on account of his being gay. That startled Joe and Mary Couchpotato out of their stupor and made them realize that there is hatred out there. ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-and-aids-are-not-synonyms-dammit/106922/67 "2002-05-08T21:01:34Z")
First off, **JillGat** , point taken, but **scott** has since said that his friends look at it the same way he does, so I stick by my statement. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Ryan \* > \*\* > But he did ask “Or should I refrain from seeing them altogether?” > What is wrong with you people? Why am I **constantly** being criticized for things I never said? It must be because I’m striaght :rolleyes:. I can’t recall ever saying that these responses were warranted. > But gobear has presented only one actual thread, and it is nowhere near as ridiculous as the examples for which he **doesn’t** give threads. If he’s so interested in showing anit-homosexual bias, why not link to the **most** ridiculous example, instead of the **least**? > I saw absolutely no mention in the OP that these were the only guys he was having sex with, nor any mention of their HIV status. In fact, he said “We’re also free to meet others”, which implies that they are in fact meeting others (and presumably having sex with them). > And I’m only one sexual encounter more away from sleeping with Britney Speares :rolleyes:. \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-and-aids-are-not-synonyms-dammit/106922/68 "2002-05-08T21:40:14Z")
Hmm. That was weird. It seems the computer decided I was done with my typing before I really was. Ah, well. Here goes: > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by The Ryan \* > \*\* > But he did ask “Or should I refrain from seeing them altogether?”_\* I fail to see what that has to do with him getting sexual advice. If a hetero Doper posts a thread in MPSIMS asking whether they should break up with their girlfriend, would it make sense to barge in with warnings about AIDS? > [@](#): > > What is wrong with you people? Why am I **constantly** being criticized for things I never said? It must be because I’m striaght :rolleyes:. I can’t recall ever saying that these responses were warranted. > But gobear has presented only one actual thread, and it is nowhere near as ridiculous as the examples for which he **doesn’t** give threads. If he’s so interested in showing anit-homosexual bias, why not link to the **most** ridiculous example, instead of the **least**? So your entire argument isn’t that the AIDS warnings were warranted, but that **gobear** ’s evidence for that statement wasn’t as good as it could be? You came into the thread and made a whole new post just to critique his debating skills? Putting aside the fact that **matt** has since provided a good example, I fail to see why you thought it was worth it to criticize the particular evidence choices of a Pit rant. After all, **scott evil’s** thread was the straw that broke the camel’s back, and the most recent example of the Gay/AIDS thread relationship. Therefore, it is the best one to use as evidence. And there were some pretty “ridiculous” responses in that thread, too. Do you really think that a post consiting entirely of: > [@](#): > > ever think about AIDS !!! is a rational and balanced addition to the conversation? > [@](#): > > I saw absolutely no mention in the OP that these were the only guys he was having sex with, nor any mention of their HIV status. In fact, he said “We’re also free to meet others”, which implies that they are in fact meeting others (and presumably having sex with them). This is true, but I didn’t get the impression that he was having sex with anybody else from his OP. And since **scott** himself has since cleared it up, that isn’t even an issue anymore. > [@](#): > > And I’m only one sexual encounter more away from sleeping with Britney Speares :rolleyes:. \*\* I’ve looked at this a couple times and still fail to see what it has to do with anything. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Ryan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7feea3/32.png) [@The\_Ryan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Ryan)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-and-aids-are-not-synonyms-dammit/106922/69 "2002-05-08T22:39:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jester \* > I fail to see what that has to do with him getting sexual advice. If a hetero Doper posts a thread in MPSIMS asking whether they should break up with their girlfriend, would it make sense to barge in with warnings about AIDS? If a hetero Doper were to ask whether they should continue having casual sex with two different girls, it would not be utterly surprising to hav someone bring up AIDS. > [@](#): > > So your entire argument isn’t that the AIDS warnings were warranted, but that **gobear** ’s evidence for that statement wasn’t as good as it could be? No. If you want to know my argument, then read my posts. > [@](#): > > After all, **scott evil’s** thread was the straw that broke the camel’s back, and the most recent example of the Gay/AIDS thread relationship. More accurately, it was an example of the casual gay sex/AIDS thread relationship. > [@](#): > > Do you really think that a post consiting entirely of: > is a rational and balanced addition to the conversation? No, and I think it might be evidence of prejudice against homosexuals. However, I was of the opinion that the benefit of the doubt should be given, and I shared that opinion. If gobear wishes to have a discussion in which he is free of the danger of being exposed to differing opinions, perhaps he should have you all over for a party instead of opening a thread on a public message board. > [@](#): > > And since **scott** himself has since cleared it up, that isn’t even an issue anymore. Of course it’s an issue. We’re discussing people’s responses to what scott said, not their responses to what scott meant. > [@](#): > > I’ve looked at this a couple times and still fail to see what it has to do with anything. And I fail to see what scott’s being only one guy away from monogamy has to do with anything. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Ryan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7feea3/32.png) [@The\_Ryan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Ryan)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-and-aids-are-not-synonyms-dammit/106922/70 "2002-05-08T22:47:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > \*\* > > Well, leaving aside the objection that dropping unsolicited safe sex “advice” into a thread about _emotional_ issues, in which the OP states in his _first sentence_ his practice of safer sex, is pretty ridiculous… > > your wish is my [command.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=109050) \*\* So HappyHeathen says something that might be construed as suggesting an AIDS test, after you state that you have an immune deficiency syndrome (which is three fourths of “acquired immune deficiency syndrome”)? ---
**Author:** ![Hamish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a5b964/32.png) [@Hamish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamish)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-and-aids-are-not-synonyms-dammit/106922/71 "2002-05-08T22:49:58Z")
**jaytini2 and jester** , excellent posts. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-and-aids-are-not-synonyms-dammit/106922/72 "2002-05-08T23:09:09Z")
Btw, the last post was from me, not **Hamish.** In the thread I linked to, **The Ryan** , I _joked_ in what was manifestly a _humorous_ rant about why it was that I got a cold at the most inconvenient possible time, by _facetiously_ speculating that my immune system was depressed by _stress._ Now that you’ve reviewed the meanings of those words, I’ll continue. HappyHeathen then went and implied that a plausible reason for me having a _goddamned cold_ was that I had _AIDS._ Do you see how this is just a little bit over the top, and do you seriously think anything of the sort would have been said to a heterosexual? ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-and-aids-are-not-synonyms-dammit/106922/73 "2002-05-08T23:17:56Z")
I am personally offended by people who start completely valid rants to let off steam and **The Ryan** comes in to nitpick semantics, meanings of words and other such babbling nonsensicals. I’d give examples, but I think I’d crash the server. Esprix ---
**Author:** ![The\_Ryan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7feea3/32.png) [@The\_Ryan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Ryan)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-and-aids-are-not-synonyms-dammit/106922/74 "2002-05-08T23:48:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > In the thread I linked to, **The Ryan** , I _joked_ in what was manifestly a _humorous_ rant about why it was that I got a cold at the most inconvenient possible time, by _facetiously_ speculating that my immune system was depressed by _stress._ So maybe HH didn’t get that you were joking. Or aybe he did and responded with his own joke. ---
**Author:** ![scott\_evil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@scott\_evil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scott_evil)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-and-aids-are-not-synonyms-dammit/106922/75 "2002-05-09T01:27:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Ryan \* > If a hetero Doper were to ask whether they should continue having casual sex with two different girls, it would not be utterly surprising to hav someone bring up AIDS. I beg to differ. > [@](#): > > No. If you want to know my argument, then read my posts. I try, but they’re painful to get through, what with their cumbersome repetitiveness and lack of any sort of new argument. > [@](#): > > No, and I think it might be evidence of prejudice against homosexuals. Such as yours? > [@](#): > > Of course it’s an issue. We’re discussing people’s responses to what scott said, not their responses to what scott meant. I beg to differ. I laid my cards on the table and was honest about my situation. My OP wasn’t about sex, if you were to have read it closely. It was about my doubts about whether I should keep seeing my “friends” given I was going through some emotional crap unreleated to either of them. I should stress “was” because I’m fine now, having seen the light re: the emotional crap. - s.e. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Ryan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7feea3/32.png) [@The\_Ryan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Ryan)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-and-aids-are-not-synonyms-dammit/106922/76 "2002-05-09T01:54:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by scott evil \* > I try, but they’re painful to get through, what with their cumbersome repetitiveness and lack of any sort of new argument. Perhaps if people didn’t misstate my position so much, I would not feel such a need to repeat myself. > [@](#): > > Such as yours [prejudice towards homosexuals]? 😕 > [@](#): > > My OP wasn’t about sex, if you were to have read it closely. Then perhaps we could assume that the people in question had poor reading comprehension, rather than something against homosexuals. Or we could just take everything as a personal attack. There are many different options. I just want to make sure that you are aware of ones other than the one you choose. ---
**Author:** ![scott\_evil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@scott\_evil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scott_evil)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-and-aids-are-not-synonyms-dammit/106922/77 "2002-05-09T01:59:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Ryan \* > Then perhaps we could assume that the people in question had poor reading comprehension, rather than something against homosexuals. It seems you suffer from both. > [@](#): > > Or we could just take everything as a personal attack. Who, exactly, is “we?” Are you a nurse now? \*_I_ (I don’t refer to myself in the plural, Nurse Ratchet) never took any of this as a personal attack; rather an amusing display of ignorance on your part. > [@](#): > > There are many different options. No shit, Sherlock. > [@](#): > > I just want to make sure that you are aware of ones other than the one you choose. Your concern is touching, but I can make up my own mind. - s.e. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Ryan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7feea3/32.png) [@The\_Ryan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Ryan)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-and-aids-are-not-synonyms-dammit/106922/78 "2002-05-09T02:41:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by scott evil \* > It seems you suffer from both. What makes you say that? > [@](#): > > Who, exactly, is “we?” The people reading that thread. Do you disagree that the number of people in the category is sufficiently large to warrant the plural? > [@](#): > > rather an amusing display of ignorance on your part. Ignorance of what? (And why do I feel like your answer is going to be along the lines of “ignorance of the fact that I’m right and you’re wrong”?) ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-and-aids-are-not-synonyms-dammit/106922/79 "2002-05-09T03:15:56Z")
Okay, **Ryan** , you may be right, and we may be constantly misstating your argument. With that knowledge, I ask you to please state exactly what your argument is, as clearly and concisely as possible. Therefore, we can continue debating your specific position, and not just play a lot of runaround games. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-and-aids-are-not-synonyms-dammit/106922/80 "2002-05-09T05:25:42Z")
Jester, we’ll play runaround games at **The Ryan** ’s option, and only his option, and it’s looking more and more likely. > [@](#): > > Ignorance of what? Of the fact that _hello_, it is useless and really kind of irritating to bring up AIDS every time a gay person is mentioned, as people seem to be insisting on doing. > [@](#): > > ## It seems you suffer from both [poor reading comprehension and something against homosexuals]. > > What makes you say that? 1. believing that a post that goes on and on about someone’s _romantic_ life and asks for advice on _romance_ is about sex. 2. believing it is warranted or defensible to bring up AIDS in a thread about gay romance (or colds) in a way I have never once, in my life, seen someone do for heterosexuals. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-and-aids-are-not-synonyms-dammit/106922.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-and-aids-are-not-synonyms-dammit/106922.md?page=5)