# "Gay as a \" similes **URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-as-a-blank-similes/596297 **Category:** In My Humble Opinion **Created:** [September 14, 2011, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-as-a-blank-similes/596297 "2011-09-14T15:48:16Z") **Posts on this page:** 20 **Page:** 3
### Author: ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm) #### Post date: [September 16, 2011, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-as-a-blank-similes/596297/41 "2011-09-16T17:29:20Z")
> [@CookingWithGas](#): > > I really hate to admit this, but I am not getting a lot of these at all. For example, french horn. And all of these. > A lot of the ones in this thread are pretty obvious (and I think the subtle ones are funnier) but these are just so out there I don’t get it. Will I spoil the thread if I have to ask? 🙂 None of them were meant to be funny. I don’t find gay stereotypes to be particularly humorous, and some can be hurtful. Some of the ones presented in this thread are the equivalent of “Gay as something inconsequential”. ---
### Author: ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated) #### Post date: [September 16, 2011, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-as-a-blank-similes/596297/42 "2011-09-16T19:35:25Z")
> [@CookingWithGas](#): > > I really hate to admit this, but I am not getting a lot of these at all. For example, french horn… [Come on.](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/63/French_horn_front.png) ---
### Author: ![CookingWithGas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cookingwithgas/32/485_2.png) [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas) #### Post date: [September 16, 2011, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-as-a-blank-similes/596297/43 "2011-09-16T19:46:22Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > [Come on.](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/63/French_horn_front.png) Oh yeah, the fist thing. 😃 ---
### Author: ![Lucky\_13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucky_13/32/13209_2.png) [@Lucky\_13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucky_13) #### Post date: [September 18, 2011, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-as-a-blank-similes/596297/44 "2011-09-18T04:08:38Z")
> [@Monkey\_Chews](#): > > On a related note, I’ve always liked “He’s so far in the closet he’s eating Turkish delight with the witch queen of Narnia”. I once read a fanfiction in which a woman described a male friend as “so far in the closet he’s handing me my shoes.” Sometimes I say “gay as a Gucci bag full of rainbows.” Not sure where I read it, but it sounded funny to me. I’ve also heard someone, probably my brother, call his friend something like “gayer than a gay guy at Gay Land on ‘gays get in free’ day.” ---
### Author: ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim) #### Post date: [September 18, 2011, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-as-a-blank-similes/596297/45 "2011-09-18T04:18:28Z")
> [@Lucky\_13](#): > > I once read a fanfiction in which a woman described a male friend as “so far in the closet he’s handing me my shoes.” I heard somewhere “he’s so deep in the closet that he’s finding Christmas presents”. Of course, there’s an obvious Narnia version of that one too. ---
### Author: ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam) #### Post date: [September 18, 2011, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-as-a-blank-similes/596297/46 "2011-09-18T05:46:53Z")
Gay as AIDS. Think it’s a South Park or Team America reference, or some moronic equivalent. ---
### Author: ![bartleby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bartleby/32/10491_2.png) [@bartleby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bartleby) #### Post date: [September 19, 2011, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-as-a-blank-similes/596297/47 "2011-09-19T12:31:46Z")
Gay as a Whistle. ---
### Author: ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller) #### Post date: [September 19, 2011, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-as-a-blank-similes/596297/48 "2011-09-19T13:21:21Z")
Someone on the boards (probably **Sampiro** ) referred to Michelle Bachmann’s husband as “so gay he sneezes glitter.” ---
### Author: ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot) #### Post date: [September 19, 2011, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-as-a-blank-similes/596297/49 "2011-09-19T15:35:20Z")
> [@Manduck](#): > > Gay as a three dollar bill. > > Am I doing it right? Sorta. Not really. It makes more sense to say, “Queer as a three-dollar bill.” ---
### Author: ![UncleNito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7cd45c/32.png) [@UncleNito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleNito) #### Post date: [September 19, 2011, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-as-a-blank-similes/596297/50 "2011-09-19T19:12:52Z")
Gayer than the volleyball scene in Top Gun. I stole that one from 30 Rock but it’s my go-to. ---
### Author: ![cjepson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@cjepson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cjepson) #### Post date: [September 19, 2011, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-as-a-blank-similes/596297/51 "2011-09-19T19:53:04Z")
> [@hotflungwok](#): > > Gayer than Richard Simmons running naked through a field of pussywillows. With Barbra Streisand’s “The Way We Were” playing in the background. ---
### Author: ![yanceylebeef](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yanceylebeef/32/12290_2.png) [@yanceylebeef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yanceylebeef) #### Post date: [September 19, 2011, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-as-a-blank-similes/596297/52 "2011-09-19T20:15:34Z")
Patton Oswalt said it best…“Gayer than eight guys blowing nine guys.” ---
### Author: ![jasg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f0a364/32.png) [@jasg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jasg) #### Post date: [September 19, 2011, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-as-a-blank-similes/596297/53 "2011-09-19T23:08:43Z")
… as a tree full of chickadees. ---
### Author: ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker) #### Post date: [September 19, 2011, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-as-a-blank-similes/596297/54 "2011-09-19T23:26:41Z")
Gay as a hee-hank. Naw, I’ve never heard it. I just like using the word. ---
### Author: ![Runs\_With\_Scissors](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/278dde/32.png) [@Runs\_With\_Scissors](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Runs_With_Scissors) #### Post date: [September 21, 2011, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-as-a-blank-similes/596297/55 "2011-09-21T04:19:57Z")
His nickname isn’t Slim; it’s Slender. ---
### Author: ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo) #### Post date: [September 21, 2011, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-as-a-blank-similes/596297/56 "2011-09-21T05:37:36Z")
I say, I say - that boy’s as queer as a two-bob watch ---
### Author: ![GoodOmens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@GoodOmens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GoodOmens) #### Post date: [September 21, 2011, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-as-a-blank-similes/596297/57 "2011-09-21T12:38:07Z")
I’ve always been partial to the good old “queer as a three dollar bill.” My students do occasionally use “gayer than Glee.” ---
### Author: ![typoink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecb155/32.png) [@typoink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/typoink) #### Post date: [September 22, 2011, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-as-a-blank-similes/596297/58 "2011-09-22T04:08:17Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > I heard somewhere “he’s so deep in the closet that he’s finding Christmas presents”. > > Of course, there’s an obvious Narnia version of that one too. My brain supplies “…so deep in the closet he gave Mr. Tumnis a reacharound.” No idea if I heard that somewhere or if it’s just so darn obvious. Turkish delight. ---
### Author: ![Double\_Foolscap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/85e7bf/32.png) [@Double\_Foolscap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Double_Foolscap) #### Post date: [September 22, 2011, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-as-a-blank-similes/596297/59 "2011-09-22T08:50:10Z")
My family’s go-to for superlatives was, “Xer than X McX, Xest man in the world.” I think it’s from Blackadder, or might just be home-grown weirdness. So, Gayer than Gay McGay, I guess. ---
### Author: ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas) #### Post date: [September 22, 2011, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-as-a-blank-similes/596297/60 "2011-09-22T15:10:43Z")
> [@robert\_columbia](#): > > He took longer to leave than Michael Jackson at a Cub Scout meeting. Let’s please keep talk of peophiles out of threads about homosexuality. > [@Miller](#): > > Someone on the boards (probably **Sampiro** ) referred to Michelle Bachmann’s husband as “so gay he sneezes glitter.” It was “so gay he farts glitter.” While I have stolen. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-as-a-blank-similes/596297.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-as-a-blank-similes/596297.md?page=4)