# Gay.com chat: you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 21, 2003, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-com-chat-you-will-never-find-a-more-wretched-hive-of-scum-and-villainy/189981 "2003-07-21T19:13:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Priam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/77aa72/32.png) [@Priam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Priam)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2003, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-com-chat-you-will-never-find-a-more-wretched-hive-of-scum-and-villainy/189981/1 "2003-07-21T19:13:13Z")
Lordy lordy lordy… someone please kill me. Due to being extremely bored in the afternoon, I logged on to [Gay.com](http://Gay.com) Chat and started browsing around trying to find someone to talk with. Now, having learned from past experiences, I had “no hook-ups/cybering” in my mini-profile. I thought people interested in such would move on to others who were clearly interested. I should have known better. Not two minutes after entering my local room, I get a Private Message asking if I wanted to cyber. Badly spelled, I might add. Has the intellectual ability of the online gay community plunged so far that we can _no longer read profiles?!?_. I tell them I’m not interested as nicely as possible, and try to get into the room’s discussion… oh wait, nevermind. What discussion? Its only people entering to post their dick length and favorite fetishes and bots promoting porn sites. Oh, and people trying to find folks close to them for hook-ups. Is this all I can expect from the site chatrooms? Have I missed something? Should I just never return to them? ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2003, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-com-chat-you-will-never-find-a-more-wretched-hive-of-scum-and-villainy/189981/2 "2003-07-21T19:24:32Z")
People ignore the no hookups/no cybering in profiles. [gay.com](http://gay.com) is not the place for sparking repartee and quality conversation. Hell, as you’ve seen, it’s little different than any other place on the net as far as literacy is concerned. While there are exceptions, and more than a few of them, for the most part you are going to find the hormonally horny lowest common denominator. While I met my ex-husband on there, and for that it was very worthwhile, it is not a place to be if you are looking for the Algonquin Round Table instead of a backroom at a gay bar. I’m sorry for your disappointment and annoyance. If you return to those chat rooms, be prepared for the worst and don’t forget that there are exceptions who can make it all worthwhile. ---
**Author:** ![Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/96bed5/32.png) [@Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patty_O_Furniture)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2003, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-com-chat-you-will-never-find-a-more-wretched-hive-of-scum-and-villainy/189981/3 "2003-07-21T19:26:02Z")
I’m sorry I was so forward. But what do you expect? It’s an outlet that allows many people to try things they would never dream of trying if they were standing in front of you. But there are more than a few needles in that haystack. Just keep at it. Tell everybody who pvts you to read your chat bio if it’s clear they haven’t already done so. I’m quite clear about that in my bio line, and I still get hit on with surprizing regularity. Don’t get discouraged! There are people in chat rooms who actually want to chat. ---
**Author:** ![musicguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ba0ec/32.png) [@musicguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/musicguy)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2003, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-com-chat-you-will-never-find-a-more-wretched-hive-of-scum-and-villainy/189981/4 "2003-07-21T19:30:38Z")
Unfortunately, this has always been my experience as well. I haven’t found much success on the internet, as a whole, for finding people who don’t want to either “hook up” or cyber, neither of which holds any appeal. Having said that, I did find a wonderful person on Planet Out and we have been together for almost a year. We took it slow though. He felt the same way as I did about the whole “hooking up” thing and we just chatted. We ended up talking online for almost 6 months before we met. That worked out well because we really knew a lot about each other before we met. But I assure you, this was a rare circumstance and I waded through a LOT of not-so-honest people before finding him. My point is that you can find people online but it takes a lot of patience and scrutiny. I wish you the best of luck in finding someone nice to talk to. They are out there. Lastly, feel free to IM me if you want someone to chat with if you want someone who isn’t looking for anyone. I am quite content but I do like meeting new people. My IM is on the Stunning Sodomites page. Take care and good luck! ---
**Author:** ![MrVisible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@MrVisible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrVisible)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2003, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-com-chat-you-will-never-find-a-more-wretched-hive-of-scum-and-villainy/189981/5 "2003-07-21T19:32:16Z")
I met the man I love there. We knew there was something special between us when we realized we were teaming up to poke fun at the trolls. We had a long, wonderful private conversation, and then a date, and someday soon, we’re going to be married. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2003, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-com-chat-you-will-never-find-a-more-wretched-hive-of-scum-and-villainy/189981/6 "2003-07-21T19:40:17Z")
I met one of the most significant relationships of my life online (AOL, not [gay.com](http://gay.com)). Trick is to read _their_ profiles and find someone who has the same thing in it (not that they’re always honest, but it’s worth a shot). Esprix ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2003, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-com-chat-you-will-never-find-a-more-wretched-hive-of-scum-and-villainy/189981/7 "2003-07-21T19:47:30Z")
It’s a mixed bag for me. I’m not classically “gay-pretty” by any means. I’ve actually been dissed to my…well, my monitor…at [gay.com](http://gay.com). Several times. I rarely hang out in the location rooms, unless I see someone I know or feel like tweaking the twinkies a little. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2003, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-com-chat-you-will-never-find-a-more-wretched-hive-of-scum-and-villainy/189981/8 "2003-07-21T19:59:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jayjay \* > \*\*It’s a mixed bag for me. I’m not classically “gay-pretty” by any means. I’ve actually been dissed to my…well, my monitor…at [gay.com](http://gay.com). Several times. I rarely hang out in the location rooms, unless I see someone I know or feel like tweaking the twinkies a little. \*\* Don’t do that! Twinkies always return to their normal shape. Did you learn nothing from Apu Nahasapemapetilan? Plus, they might enjoy it. We can’t have that. Down with shallow bitches! Power to the substantive! When come back, bring PIE! ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2003, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-com-chat-you-will-never-find-a-more-wretched-hive-of-scum-and-villainy/189981/9 "2003-07-21T20:03:30Z")
I really should get someone to take a picture during one of my towel-clad weekends and put it as my default on there just to oog out the twinks… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2003, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-com-chat-you-will-never-find-a-more-wretched-hive-of-scum-and-villainy/189981/10 "2003-07-21T20:07:51Z")
I wouldn’t know what it’s like to chat at [gay.com](http://gay.com) because as noted in another thread I am too repulsive to speak to. Also I can’t ever access the chat rooms because of browser issues. I generally had good luck on AOL back when there was a Gay and Lesbian Community Forum with moderated chat. Later it became OnQ and later still (while I was away from AOL) got kicked to the curb along with many (most? all?) of the other non-commercial content forums on AOL. I have this vague memory of being told once that upon migrating to the web OnQ became of all things [gay.com](http://gay.com) but I don’t know how true that is. Upon returning to AOL and finding that all that remained of the “gay community” was the M4M rooms I gave up, since no one in M4M rooms actually chats. Anyone on [gay.com](http://gay.com) who wants to pvt can reach me as jmc4711. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2003, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-com-chat-you-will-never-find-a-more-wretched-hive-of-scum-and-villainy/189981/11 "2003-07-21T20:11:02Z")
Awww, good idea, **Otto**. Perhaps we should be adding our [gay.com](http://gay.com) usernames to our Stunning Sodomites profiles. Mine, on the unlikely chance anyone wants to look for me, is **jayjaybear**. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2003, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-com-chat-you-will-never-find-a-more-wretched-hive-of-scum-and-villainy/189981/12 "2003-07-21T20:12:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jayjay \* > \*\*I really should get someone to take a picture during one of my towel-clad weekends and put it as my default on there just to oog out the twinks… > > 😃 \*\* Y’know… any of those immature children who actually have to comment in the negative about you are just imbeciles who are losing out. Just because their mother’s birth control failed is no reason to take it out on the world. Of course, YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![Priam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/77aa72/32.png) [@Priam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Priam)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2003, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-com-chat-you-will-never-find-a-more-wretched-hive-of-scum-and-villainy/189981/13 "2003-07-21T20:12:36Z")
Mine is **Aerlin** ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2003, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-com-chat-you-will-never-find-a-more-wretched-hive-of-scum-and-villainy/189981/14 "2003-07-21T20:13:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jayjay \* > \*\*Awww, good idea, **Otto**. Perhaps we should be adding our [gay.com](http://gay.com) usernames to our Stunning Sodomites profiles. > > Mine, on the unlikely chance anyone wants to look for me, is **jayjaybear**. \*\* Ahem. I did want people to send me the IM contact info for any IM services they wanted to list. Look under my profile(and see the new pic), or JohnBCKWld’s and note the different IM info. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2003, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-com-chat-you-will-never-find-a-more-wretched-hive-of-scum-and-villainy/189981/15 "2003-07-21T20:14:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Priam \* > \*\*Mine is **Aerlin** \*\* With how at times we end up chatting with each other on a messageboard, I am wondering if there shouldn’t be a chat installed on the Stunning Sodomites website. ---
**Author:** ![Priam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/77aa72/32.png) [@Priam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Priam)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2003, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-com-chat-you-will-never-find-a-more-wretched-hive-of-scum-and-villainy/189981/16 "2003-07-21T20:28:40Z")
Oh wow you learn a lot from people’s profiles sometimes _leers at **jayjaybear** _ ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2003, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-com-chat-you-will-never-find-a-more-wretched-hive-of-scum-and-villainy/189981/17 "2003-07-21T20:39:04Z")
Ah, **Mockingbird** , [gay.com](http://gay.com) is not an IM service. Not strictly speaking, anyway. **Priam** : 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2003, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-com-chat-you-will-never-find-a-more-wretched-hive-of-scum-and-villainy/189981/18 "2003-07-21T20:40:22Z")
M-bird, feel free to add jmc4711 as my [gay.com](http://gay.com) ID. I also just downloaded AIM using SN ottosdmb. And I’m not the slightest bit crushed that **Priam** didn’t leer at me. Nope. Not here. Not the least bit of crushing. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2003, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-com-chat-you-will-never-find-a-more-wretched-hive-of-scum-and-villainy/189981/19 "2003-07-21T20:45:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jayjay \* > \*\*Ah, **Mockingbird** , [gay.com](http://gay.com) is not an IM service. Not strictly speaking, anyway. > > **Priam** : 😃 \*\* I’m quite familiar with what [gay.com](http://gay.com) is, you bimbo. 😛 There is now SSotSDMB Chat: [http://wonderwoman-online.com/sschat/phpMyChat.php3](http://wonderwoman-online.com/sschat/phpMyChat.php3) ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2003, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-com-chat-you-will-never-find-a-more-wretched-hive-of-scum-and-villainy/189981/20 "2003-07-21T20:49:43Z")
Bimbo? Pfah! You damn me with faint praise, sir… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-com-chat-you-will-never-find-a-more-wretched-hive-of-scum-and-villainy/189981.md?page=2)