# Gay Dopers: how do you come out at work? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 27, 2004, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-dopers-how-do-you-come-out-at-work/271537 "2004-10-27T20:37:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2004, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-dopers-how-do-you-come-out-at-work/271537/41 "2004-10-29T22:02:55Z")
> [@SolGrundy](#): > > Well, it came down to two really strong sample designs for the Bi-Pride bracelets, but they could just never decide on one or the other. I never do this- I really don’t- but… LOL! ---
**Author:** ![caphis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19adc/32.png) [@caphis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/caphis)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2004, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-dopers-how-do-you-come-out-at-work/271537/42 "2004-10-29T22:25:10Z")
I don’t “come out” at work. I see no need to flaunt my sexuality in the face of my co-workers, and they usually don’t, either. In casual conversation, I will make references to my boyfriend when appropriate, just as he or she would mention their heterosexual significant other. So, maybe to some people that’s “coming out,” but I don’t make an issue of it whatsoever. So far, through 3 jobs, neither has anyone else. ---
**Author:** ![InternetLegend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/internetlegend/32/13154_2.png) [@InternetLegend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InternetLegend)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2004, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-dopers-how-do-you-come-out-at-work/271537/43 "2004-10-29T23:08:51Z")
> [@SolGrundy](#): > > Well, it came down to two really strong sample designs for the Bi-Pride bracelets, but they could just never decide on one or the other. Hmph. Maybe I’ll just buy a rainbow one! Then again, that pink really isn’t too bad…and the rainbow one has the purple in it anyway. Maybe I should just buy both and wear one on each wrist? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2004, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-dopers-how-do-you-come-out-at-work/271537/44 "2004-10-30T03:35:27Z")
> [@caphis](#): > > So, maybe to some people that’s “coming out,” but I don’t make an issue of it whatsoever. So far, through 3 jobs, neither has anyone else. ANy time you identify yourself as non-heterosexual you have come out. It isn’t _always_ about the drama. I did want to report that I was the belle of the ball in my fairy princess costume. Apparently, word of me spread throughout the company. Dozens of people from all over the complex stopped by to see me. ---
**Author:** ![Maxxxie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f14d63/32.png) [@Maxxxie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maxxxie)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2004, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-dopers-how-do-you-come-out-at-work/271537/45 "2004-10-30T06:18:39Z")
It’s usually pretty obvious to everyone I meet that I’m a total dyke. This is why I don’t feel the need to announce it at work. When I talk about my partner, I usually mention her by name or use “she”, or whatever. It’s obvious to anyone who listens that I’m a dyke. I figure if they need to be TOLD, then they’re too dumb for words and clearly are not people I want to have anything to do with. Also, many of the people I work with are chatty rumour-spreaders, and I have absolutely NO interest in sharing ANY of my life with them. I don’t tell them I’m a dyke, just like I don’t tell them what I did on the weekend. It’s none of their business! Max. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2004, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-dopers-how-do-you-come-out-at-work/271537/46 "2004-10-30T06:44:04Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > I did want to report that I was the belle of the ball in my fairy princess costume. Apparently, word of me spread throughout the company. Dozens of people from all over the complex stopped by to see me. See, I really pictured you as more of a queen… ---
**Author:** ![jellyblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@jellyblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jellyblue)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2004, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-dopers-how-do-you-come-out-at-work/271537/47 "2004-10-30T07:40:59Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > I did want to report that I was the belle of the ball in my fairy princess costume. Apparently, word of me spread throughout the company. Dozens of people from all over the complex stopped by to see me. Well, if you’re going to go around demanding pictures from **Hamish** , then surely we deserve to be treated to at least one of you as the fairy princess! I wanna see!! Did you grant any wishes? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![caphis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19adc/32.png) [@caphis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/caphis)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2004, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-dopers-how-do-you-come-out-at-work/271537/48 "2004-10-30T17:11:37Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > ANy time you identify yourself as non-heterosexual you have come out. It isn’t _always_ about the drama. On a personal level, I don’t see it as “coming out”. Coming out implies acceptance, which happened to me LONG ago. What would you call it when someone, after a given period, confirms their heterosexuality? ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2004, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-dopers-how-do-you-come-out-at-work/271537/49 "2004-10-30T17:40:40Z")
> [@caphis](#): > > What would you call it when someone, after a given period, confirms their heterosexuality? I wouldn’t call it anything, because heterosexuality is the cultural presumption. No pictures of me this year, but [this](http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/mcmarbles/detail?.dir=a1ef&.dnm=36bd.jpg&.src=ph) is from the last time I wore it, two years ago at another workplace. Yes, I recycled the costume, but hey these people hadn’t seen it before. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2004, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-dopers-how-do-you-come-out-at-work/271537/50 "2004-10-30T17:42:05Z")
And the outfit is purple; IIRC the photo was taken with an old disposable camera and I guess the film had faded or something. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2004, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-dopers-how-do-you-come-out-at-work/271537/51 "2004-10-30T17:46:57Z")
Thanks Otto; now I have the “fairy princess… moonbeam floor…” refrains from “Pickalittle Talkalittle” going through my head. (“And if you don’t mind my sayin’ so” you’re majorly cute- your sweet sweet Kyan could do much worse.) ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2004, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-dopers-how-do-you-come-out-at-work/271537/52 "2004-10-30T19:30:25Z")
Aw shucks, Sampiro, I bet you say that to all the boys in houndstooth skirts. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2004, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-dopers-how-do-you-come-out-at-work/271537/53 "2004-10-30T19:51:41Z")
No, just the bearded ones. ---
**Author:** ![jellyblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@jellyblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jellyblue)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2004, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-dopers-how-do-you-come-out-at-work/271537/54 "2004-10-30T23:19:15Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > No pictures of me this year, but [this](http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/mcmarbles/detail?.dir=a1ef&.dnm=36bd.jpg&.src=ph) is from the last time I wore it, two years ago at another workplace. Yes, I recycled the costume, but hey these people hadn’t seen it before. That’s just the _best_. I have to say, the wristbands and wand definitely make the costume. The Wrassler ain’t bad, either 🆒 . Thanks, **Otto**. (See? And now you’ve got **Sampiro** all twitterpated!) ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2004, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-dopers-how-do-you-come-out-at-work/271537/55 "2004-10-31T03:37:54Z")
> [@jellyblue](#): > > (See? And now you’ve got **Sampiro** all twitterpated!) Fat lot of good that does me, him being in Georgia and all. ---
**Author:** ![jellyblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@jellyblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jellyblue)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2004, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-dopers-how-do-you-come-out-at-work/271537/56 "2004-10-31T08:29:57Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > Fat lot of good that does me, him being in Georgia and all. Pssssttt… That’s what the \*wings \* are for. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-dopers-how-do-you-come-out-at-work/271537.md?page=2)