# Gay guys acting like black women. Is this a real thing? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 28, 2015, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-guys-acting-like-black-women-is-this-a-real-thing/716221 "2015-03-28T17:34:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-guys-acting-like-black-women-is-this-a-real-thing/716221/1 "2015-03-28T17:34:21Z")
Yesterday, I read about this: [UK Union of Students bans gay guys from acting like black women](http://www.queerty.com/gay-men-officially-forbidden-from-acting-like-black-women-clapping-too-is-off-limits-20150326) I thought it was from The Onion at first. But then I discovered it was real. I don’t know any gay guys (at least who are open about it). So I don’t know if gay guys intentionally acting like the sassy black women stereotype is a real thing or even it’s an offensive thing. I mean, if a white guy is walking around talking about having an inner black woman, it IS kind of eye-rolly. You can appropriate expressions and attitudes from another culture without claiming that culture as yours. Kind of like how I know that me calling another person “dude” or remarking that something is “gnarly” doesn’t mean I’m the reincarnation of a white Californian male circa 1990. It just means I’m using certain terms and phrases for comic effect. But it doesn’t offend me if another group wants to borrow some of the flavor of my group, as long as they do it respectfully and it’s clear they’re not serious about it. This is my opinion, anyway. Curious how others feel, though. (Especially other black women). ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-guys-acting-like-black-women-is-this-a-real-thing/716221/2 "2015-03-28T18:06:28Z")
Lots of gay guys adopt a finger-snapping sassy southern diva demeanor. I don’t think they’re consciously thinking they’re black women, but it works out that way. I have no idea what British gay guys are thinking. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-guys-acting-like-black-women-is-this-a-real-thing/716221/3 "2015-03-28T18:10:46Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > Lots of gay guys adopt a finger-snapping sassy southern diva demeanor. I don’t think they’re consciously thinking they’re black women, but it works out that way. > > I have no idea what British gay guys are thinking. England? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulf_the_Unwashed)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-guys-acting-like-black-women-is-this-a-real-thing/716221/4 "2015-03-28T18:10:59Z")
I have no experience with this and no real opinion on the “legitimacy” of it. The gay white men I know best, including my son, don’t seem especially influenced by black female culture. I will admit that I find the linked article to be hilarious. Not quite sure who the people are who run the Union of Students, but their belief that they can somehow ban all these things is…well, bless their little hearts, that’s all _I_ can say. ---
**Author:** ![choie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/choie/32/7829_2.png) [@choie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/choie)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-guys-acting-like-black-women-is-this-a-real-thing/716221/5 "2015-03-28T18:37:09Z")
Weird. Funnily this reminds me of the “They Say…” monologue on _Kids in the Hall_, given by the character Buddy Cole played by Scott Thompson. Buddy is a campy gay white guy with a dry wit who usually gives monologues while sitting in a bar. (Scott is gay, btw.) In this “They Say…” bit he compares black and gay stereotypes and notices certain similarities, which he takes pride in. The sketch dates back to the mid- to late-1980s and (like most of KiTH) was pretty bold for the time. Relevant quotes: > [@](#): > > "They say that blacks are inferior, because they like to dance and screw around. _Excuse_ me?! I _love_ to dance! And as far as I’m concerned, screwing is next to godliness. And I’m the smartest person I know. > > "They say that ‘orientals’ are superior, because they’re better at math and have smaller families. Mmm. I guess that’s why there’s only a billion people in China. I mean _I’m_ certainly not having any children. Yet I don’t hear a lot of people running around touting the superiority of faggots. Well, just _me_. > > "They say that whites are smarter than blacks, but dumber than orientals. I guess we’re just right. Hmm? We’re the porridge that Goldilocks chose. Not too hot, like those saucy Africans, but not too cold like those chilly Chinese. > > "They say that heterosexuals are better than homosexuals, because we’re so promiscuous. I guess that means we’re also black. It makes sense, 'cause we can really dance. And boy, do _we_ understand the blues. > > "People make fun of me because I lisp. _Really._ Such a lot of fuss over a few extra S’s. > > “They say that every different group has their own language. For example, fags say things like ‘Girl,’ and ‘Sister,’ and ‘What’s _her_ problem?’ Another example? Foxy black mamas. They say things like ‘Girl,’ and “Sister,” and ‘What’s _her_ problem?’ …Makes ya think.” [Actual full sketch.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XIxgGl3vE4) ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-guys-acting-like-black-women-is-this-a-real-thing/716221/6 "2015-03-28T18:45:20Z")
I can tell you this from personal experience: put me in a new environment, say a large office, with me and a black woman, we’ll find each other. Don’t ask me why. We’ll spot each other, exchange a few pleasantries, and next thing you know we’ll be office besties. I don’t think I’m a black woman nor do I act like the gay southern diva, but we’ll find each other anyway. It’s happened many, many times. ---
**Author:** ![BaldDudePeekskill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5e925/32.png) [@BaldDudePeekskill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BaldDudePeekskill)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-guys-acting-like-black-women-is-this-a-real-thing/716221/7 "2015-03-28T19:24:46Z")
Stereotypes always have some basis in reality. I don’t affect that tone, but I’ve heard many a queen in my day use it. It’s campy, and ok if not overdone. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-guys-acting-like-black-women-is-this-a-real-thing/716221/8 "2015-03-28T19:36:25Z")
I guess I don’t understand why gay guys would be more given to campiness or affectation than other groups. Is it something that gay culture encourages, or is it something that just flows naturally from being an outsider? ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-guys-acting-like-black-women-is-this-a-real-thing/716221/9 "2015-03-28T20:12:09Z")
Amy Winehouse was a gay guy? ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-guys-acting-like-black-women-is-this-a-real-thing/716221/10 "2015-03-28T20:21:58Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > I guess I don’t understand why gay guys would be more given to campiness or affectation than other groups. Is it something that gay culture encourages, or is it something that just flows naturally from being an outsider? Probably. ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-guys-acting-like-black-women-is-this-a-real-thing/716221/11 "2015-03-28T23:18:12Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > England? 😃 Titter. Is ‘lie back and think of England’ a well known phrase outside of Blighty? ---
**Author:** ![Alley\_Dweller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alley_dweller/32/430_2.png) [@Alley\_Dweller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alley_Dweller)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-guys-acting-like-black-women-is-this-a-real-thing/716221/12 "2015-03-28T23:24:51Z")
> [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](#): > > Titter. Is ‘lie back and think of England’ a well known phrase outside of Blighty? I’ve never been to England (I live in the US) but I’ve always heard it as “lie back and think of mother England.” ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-guys-acting-like-black-women-is-this-a-real-thing/716221/13 "2015-03-28T23:41:54Z")
None of my gay friends or relatives act like that. They act like any other white. middle aged guys. ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-guys-acting-like-black-women-is-this-a-real-thing/716221/14 "2015-03-28T23:54:08Z")
> [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](#): > > Titter. Is ‘lie back and think of England’ a well known phrase outside of Blighty? I (American) have heard it, a handful of times throughout my life, but it’s certainly not something I hear every day. I’m only vaguely aware of what it means. Something about sex with an ugly woman?? ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-guys-acting-like-black-women-is-this-a-real-thing/716221/15 "2015-03-28T23:57:52Z")
I thought it just meant “taking one for the team.” ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-guys-acting-like-black-women-is-this-a-real-thing/716221/16 "2015-03-28T23:59:37Z")
This isn’t really what you’re all talking about, but Mick Jagger made a lot of money channeling Tina Turner onstage. ---
**Author:** ![jimbuff314](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c57346/32.png) [@jimbuff314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimbuff314)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2015, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-guys-acting-like-black-women-is-this-a-real-thing/716221/17 "2015-03-29T01:03:22Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > I guess I don’t understand why gay guys would be more given to campiness or affectation than other groups. Is it something that gay culture encourages, or is it something that just flows naturally from being an outsider? I worked for 2 gay guys for several years. (A more conservative, Republican couple I have never met.) One is a huge Nascar fan and low-key. The other _can_ be low-key but loves to queen it up on occasion. Having been to many gay bars with them, I would say that some gay guys do like to flame (flaming queen) with abandon, campiness and affectations galore. Maybe it’s just that I’m so accustomed to it, but it seems a little odd that someone would not be aware of this aspect of gay culture. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2015, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-guys-acting-like-black-women-is-this-a-real-thing/716221/18 "2015-03-29T01:38:00Z")
> [@jimbuff314](#): > > I worked for 2 gay guys for several years. (A more conservative, Republican couple I have never met.) > > One is a huge Nascar fan and low-key. The other _can_ be low-key but loves to queen it up on occasion. Having been to many gay bars with them, I would say that some gay guys do like to flame (flaming queen) with abandon, campiness and affectations galore. Maybe it’s just that I’m so accustomed to it, but it seems a little odd that someone would not be aware of this aspect of gay culture. I’m trying to figure out where this aspect of gay culture comes from. Did it just happen by chance? Or is there something about being a gay man that makes campiness a natural expression? Do lesbians enjoy a similar culture of affectation? If no, why not? ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2015, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-guys-acting-like-black-women-is-this-a-real-thing/716221/19 "2015-03-29T02:01:29Z")
Why do black women act like gay men? ---
**Author:** ![jimbuff314](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c57346/32.png) [@jimbuff314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimbuff314)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2015, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-guys-acting-like-black-women-is-this-a-real-thing/716221/20 "2015-03-29T02:18:38Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > I’m trying to figure out where this aspect of gay culture comes from. Did it just happen by chance? Or is there something about being a gay man that makes campiness a natural expression? > > Do lesbians enjoy a similar culture of affectation? If no, why not? It’s been around for decades. I _think_ Bette Midler based her Divine Miss M persona on it. (She started out performing in gay bathhouses in NYC.) Just my opinion, but I’d say your second question is hitting close to home. Theatrical, histrionic, over-the-top. Seems about right. Also, they love doing it. It’s fun! Never hung out with many lesbians. Gay guys, in my experience, rarely had kind words for them. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-guys-acting-like-black-women-is-this-a-real-thing/716221.md?page=2)