# Gay guys acting like black women.  Is this a real thing?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-guys-acting-like-black-women-is-this-a-real-thing/716221>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [March 28, 2015, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-guys-acting-like-black-women-is-this-a-real-thing/716221 "2015-03-28T17:34:21Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\
**Post date:** [March 31, 2015, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-guys-acting-like-black-women-is-this-a-real-thing/716221/41 "2015-03-31T23:11:51Z")

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> [@you\_with\_the\_face](#):
>
> Here’s my complete made-up theory.
> 
> The sassy, loud, honey chile persona is one that radiates both femininity and strength. This style of self-expression is at home among American black women because it historically has protected them from the micro- and macro-aggressions that society has routinely thrown at them. It’s a two-sided identity. One side is the nurturing, wise, and jolly maternal figure who is generous with her terms of endearment and ability to promote commiseration through colorful storytelling. Her language creates bonds with other sisters, and these bonds are protective.
> 
> The other side of the persona is a no-nonsense, unapologetic bitch who does not suffer fools gladly. She can cut you words without blinking an eye, and then, when you start gushing blood, will kindly pass you a handkerchief so you don’t make a mess. Her language keeps hostile outsiders away from her inner sanctum. These outsiders fear her wrath, and this provides her with power that she otherwise wouldn’t have.
> 
> Gay men who embrace this duality derive the same benefits that black women have. You get the sista girl bonding and at the same time, you get to make outsiders wary of getting too close and familiar with you. The sassy shtick allows someone to be strong and “dangerous” while still be soft, likable, and fun.

There’s a big difference between being confident and standing up for oneself, though, and being inconsiderate and rude. Many people (of all races and genders) confuse the two.  
Someone who says, “Excuse me, please don’t cut in line,” is standing up for themselves. Someone who replies, “Sorry, I’ll cut in line whenever i want to, deal with it,” is not standing up for themselves; they’re just being rude. But the latter will probably describe themselves favorably as “I’m someone who stands up for myself and I don’t care what others think.”

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