# Gay marriage opponents, listen up: I've got a secret to tell you **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 6, 2008, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496 "2008-11-06T19:08:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![PetW](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d2c977/32.png) [@PetW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PetW)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496/21 "2008-11-06T21:34:04Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > Women are banging their clits together furiously Really? Are lesbians really into the whole “Scissor Me Timbers!” South Park thing? ---
**Author:** ![black\_rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f19dbf/32.png) [@black\_rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/black_rabbit)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496/22 "2008-11-06T21:39:18Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > You know … that just sounds painful. Even more so when you do it like [this](http://www.teachersource.com/Images/Product/md/ne125.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496/23 "2008-11-06T21:41:51Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > You know … that just sounds painful. I agree. ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496/24 "2008-11-06T21:42:43Z")
::stands up and applauds **Cisco** :: I voted no on prop 2 (Florida). I’m sorry, rest of the country, some of us tried… ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496/25 "2008-11-06T21:44:07Z")
Man, I wanna make someone’s clit go POW POW POW! That just sounds awesome. I need to become a lesbian! I’ll pass on the Bang Bang Bang though. That sounds painful. Though it did remind me of this [old flash vide](http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/bang)o from like 6 years ago… ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496/26 "2008-11-06T21:45:17Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > Yeah! Seriously, unless they’re inviting you in for some BANG BANG BANG POW POW POW, why the hell do these people care so much what other people are doing in their bedrooms? Never in the history of mankind have there been more spurious arguments over something so not a big deal. Because they’re the people who are all about “getting government out of our lives”. By “our” they mean “my” and by “out” they mean “into yours”. -Joe ---
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496/27 "2008-11-06T21:45:25Z")
> [@fluiddruid](#): > > I think my clit is broken. It has never gone POW POW POW. Well the problem is you haven’t cocked it. _d&r!_ ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496/28 "2008-11-06T21:46:49Z")
> [@jali](#): > > May I quote part of your OP in an email to some friends? They need to think about this. Email shit, if you put this up as a MySpace bulletin it would circle the globe in about 10 minutes. I’d like to have this as an audiobook read either by Bill Hicks or George Carlin. ---
**Author:** ![Trepa\_Mayfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Trepa\_Mayfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trepa_Mayfield)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496/29 "2008-11-06T21:50:29Z")
> [@Merijeek](#): > > Because they’re the people who are all about “getting government out of our lives”. By “our” they mean “my” and by “out” they mean “into yours”. > > -Joe That renders the sentence grammatically incorrect. ---
**Author:** ![beanpod](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a9adbd/32.png) [@beanpod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beanpod)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496/30 "2008-11-06T21:59:50Z")
OMG **RoOsh** , that was exactly where my mind went, too. I’m glad I’m not alone. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496/31 "2008-11-06T22:08:59Z")
> [@HookerChemical](#): > > I don’t see this as a problem, as I’ve had my leg humped by many dogs already. Apparently my leg is a sexy bitch. I’m totally hearing this post in Craig Ferguson’s voice. I may be watching too much late night tv. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496/32 "2008-11-06T22:10:57Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > They’re reading the bible Reading the Bible? I don’t read no stinking Bible! There’s a lot of hateful shit in there. How dare you lump me in with those gheys like that **Cisco**! And in case, anyone’s sarcasm detector is broken: 😉 ---
**Author:** ![UncleNito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7cd45c/32.png) [@UncleNito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleNito)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496/33 "2008-11-06T22:13:13Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > And you know what else they’re doing? They’re holding hands. They’re telling each other I Love You and heading off to work. They’re **balancing check books** and planning Thanksgiving. (emphasis added) Don’t teh gay have computers? I’m glad I’m straight; Gawd loves me so much that I haven’t balanced a checkbook in years. I hope the Radical Homosexual Agenda doesn’t convert my son; online banking is where it’s at. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Cymbeline](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_cymbeline/32/9244_2.png) [@Green\_Cymbeline](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Cymbeline)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496/34 "2008-11-06T22:27:33Z")
Brilliant!!! ---
**Author:** ![fifty-six](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@fifty-six](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fifty-six)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496/35 "2008-11-06T22:34:59Z")
**clap clap clap** ---
**Author:** ![Llama\_Llogophile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@Llama\_Llogophile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Llama_Llogophile)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496/36 "2008-11-06T22:38:19Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > They’re doing the same things you and I are doing. Speak for yourself. I’m having a bit of a dry spell over here… Excellent OP! ---
**Author:** ![akira5822](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/53a042/32.png) [@akira5822](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/akira5822)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496/37 "2008-11-06T22:43:59Z")
Author, Author !!! ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496/38 "2008-11-06T22:49:40Z")
As one of the MSNBC election commentators put it on Tuesday night, “Liberalism always wins in the country eventually.” He sounded pretty happy about it, too. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496/39 "2008-11-06T22:56:29Z")
Standing O!! ---
**Author:** ![Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hazle_Weatherfield)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496/40 "2008-11-06T23:10:58Z")
Most excellent! I would kill to hear it said by Lewis Black! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496.md?page=3)