# Gay marriage opponents, listen up: I've got a secret to tell you **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 6, 2008, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496 "2008-11-06T19:08:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![KGS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90ced4/32.png) [@KGS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KGS)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496/61 "2008-11-07T04:35:37Z")
Yep. They shouldn’t have fucked around with the California Gays. I’m pissed as fuck, and technically I’m not even gay, just Californian. And there’s a lot more militant people living here who will NOT take this lying down (because they’d rather take it standing up…OOPS! sorry…) We haven’t heard the end of this issue, it will go ALL THE WAY to the U.S. Supreme Court and beyond. The Mormon & Catholic churches have awakened a sleeping giant, they shouldn’t have fucked around with The Gay Mecca. They should not have fucked around. Keep in mind, the Christians are still waiting on their own Tribulation. Every group of people has their own Tribulation – the Liberal Tribulation started on 9/11/01 and ended on 9/12/08 (Metrolink crash + Hurricane Ike, the first Major Portent of the current Economic Crisis) – the Conservative Tribulation is going on right now, but ultimately they will find their way out by _divorcing themselves from the fundamentalist Christians._ So the conservatives will survive, just like the liberals, because we all know one thing the Christians do not – THERE IS **NO** MESSIAH. WE CAN ONLY SAVE US FROM OURSELVES. Once the Christian Tribulation begins (approx. 42 months from now, give or take a few years) they will be waiting for their Messiah. Well…first they’ll be waiting for The Rapture (ain’t gonna happen, ain’t even in the fuckin’ Bible!) but after that, they will endure the torture of the seven trumpets and the seven seals and the various woes that will rape ALL fundamentalist religions and ostracize them to the point of outright ridicule and humiliation. And when their 7 years of Tribulation are over, they will be waiting with arms pointed skyward for the return of Jesus Christ, and they will see…nothing. No one. Only empty sky. Fundamentalist Christianity is annoying, but they are merely an eyeblink in evolutionary time – and very soon their religion will become extinct, since they refuse to save themselves from themselves. _C’ya, fundie assholes!_ Meanwhile, I’ll be smoking pot (legally!) and fucking my next door neighbor up the ass (why not, he looks hot for a dude) and worshipping pagan gods only because I can, and practicing witchcraft and listening to heavy metal and meditating with Buddhists and Hindus (which Christians also consider evil, figure that one out) and enjoying my 1,000 years of peace on earth with all my gay, pagan, socialist, liberal friends. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496/62 "2008-11-07T04:36:17Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > **PEOPLE ARE BUTTFUCKING IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD RIGHT NOW**. Can I have this for my sig? Please? ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496/63 "2008-11-07T04:43:27Z")
I don’t live in California and I am not gay but all this crap with Prop 8 makes me want to go fuck a woman just to piss off the fundies. My boyfriend is very supportive of this idea as long as he gets to watch. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_King_of_Soup)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496/64 "2008-11-07T05:01:29Z")
> [@pbbth](#): > > I don’t live in California and I am not gay but all this crap with Prop 8 makes me want to go fuck a woman just to piss off the fundies. My boyfriend is very supportive of this idea as long as he gets to watch. 😃 Your username is a very good thing to repeat constantly during oral sex with her. Otherwise, I can’t recommend it. **Cisco** : Good for you. We’ve entered new territory recently, however. Most of the anti-gay amendments can’t survive judicial review, and the rest are just too bizarre and idiosyncratic to survive for long in a liberated and liberal electorate. About the only thing you can do now to avert vastly expanded gay rights is to needlessly frighten the old and unhip, which to some (unfortunately) apparently seems more attractive than the real agenda. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496/65 "2008-11-07T05:15:13Z")
> [@voguevixen](#): > > And not only that, they have children! They may not have gotten them the same way you did (though some of the previously married women might’ve). Some are adopted and some are in-vitro; some are step-kids. Some have no kids. Some have pets. Some have parents or aunts/uncles liviing with them. They are all different sorts of families and every one is JUST AS LEGITIMATE as YOUR “family.” Often they _do_ get them the same way. I know two guys, both fathered children when they were young and trying to play it straight, then when they were together, both ended up with the kids. How cute is that? ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496/66 "2008-11-07T05:31:17Z")
> [@outlierrn](#): > > Against Gay Marriage? > > Fine: Don’t fucking have one > > leave the rest of us alone This actually sums up ALOT of my views on a myriad of issues. Well said, good sir. ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496/67 "2008-11-07T06:20:50Z")
A pleasure to be of service. ---
**Author:** ![MissIntent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/97f17d/32.png) [@MissIntent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissIntent)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496/68 "2008-11-07T17:12:09Z")
I just reposted the OP’s first post as a myspace bulletin and a facebook note. It’s a great piece of writing, perfectly sums up my feelings, thank you. ---
**Author:** ![HookerChemical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/278dde/32.png) [@HookerChemical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HookerChemical)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496/69 "2008-11-07T17:13:22Z")
> [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](#): > > The pun police will arrive shortly. You’re advised not to resist arrest. Why not? I might like being cuffed. Maybe I’m into a little kink. I didn’t say the dog didn’t turn me on a little. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496/70 "2008-11-07T17:43:26Z")
> [@Duke](#): > > NOW who’s being all mavericky in here? You betcha. You need to stop doing that RIGHT NOW. ETA: Still hearing your posts in Craig Ferguson’s voice, **Hooker**. That’s quite a gift you’ve got. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496/71 "2008-11-07T17:45:47Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > But most importantly, **PEOPLE ARE BUTTFUCKING IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD RIGHT NOW**. > > Guys are sucking guys’ dicks. Women are banging their clits together furiously - POW POW POW. Balls are slamming balls - BANG BANG BANG. > > BANG BANG BANG BANG. SLURP SLURP SLURP. POW POW POW. Is that what that racket is? I thought he was just trying to get the snowblower started. ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496/72 "2008-11-07T20:23:29Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > But most importantly, **PEOPLE ARE BUTTFUCKING IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD RIGHT NOW**. > > Guys are sucking guys’ dicks. Women are banging their clits together furiously - POW POW POW. Balls are slamming balls - BANG BANG BANG. Snipped… Ohhhh, **Cisco**! Why didn’t you talk this way when we were in the car? All you wanted to talk about was the weather. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![pmat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/58956e/32.png) [@pmat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pmat)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496/73 "2008-11-07T21:47:53Z")
I’m a Christian who would like to weigh in on this topic. Not all of us are bigots. I have a belief that God is the only one who can truly “marry” people, and he defines it as one man and one woman forever. However, the state is not God, and I don’t give a fuck what the state says. If I was asked to make that decision, I would vote for gay marriage rights. As a Christian, I will not force my religious views on any one. As has been stated, if you’re not in favor of gay marriage, then don’t get one. I don’t understand why my fellow Christians take such an issue with the definition of marriage, when the state has no say in it anyway, and I have to call into question if their beliefs are based on faith or prejudice. I don’t think it’s a religious issue, as much as a tolerance issue. The two don’t _always_ go hand in hand. ---
**Author:** ![ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496/74 "2008-11-07T22:05:32Z")
> [@pmat](#): > > I’m a Christian who would like to weigh in on this topic. Not all of us are bigots. I have a belief that God is the only one who can truly “marry” people, and he defines it as one man and one woman forever. However, the state is not God, and I don’t give a fuck what the state says. If I was asked to make that decision, I would vote for gay marriage rights. As a Christian, I will not force my religious views on any one. As has been stated, if you’re not in favor of gay marriage, then don’t get one. I don’t understand why my fellow Christians take such an issue with the definition of marriage, when the state has no say in it anyway, and I have to call into question if their beliefs are based on faith or prejudice. I don’t think it’s a religious issue, as much as a tolerance issue. The two don’t _always_ go hand in hand. Thanks for this. I have no problem with your perspective on who can truly marry, aside from disagreeing with it. You and I should be free to either keep our beliefs to ourselves, or discuss them over a latte, or debate them over a dinner table, or even shout them at each other during a protest. And your church should be free to refuse to perform my ceremony if it’s members and leadership so desire. But that should be the limit of the impact of our choices and opinions on each other’s lives on this topic. ---
**Author:** ![Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hazle_Weatherfield)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496/75 "2008-11-08T00:49:58Z")
> [@pmat](#): > > I’m a Christian who would like to weigh in on this topic. Not all of us are bigots. I have a belief that God is the only one who can truly “marry” people, and he defines it as one man and one woman forever. However, the state is not God, and I don’t give a fuck what the state says. If I was asked to make that decision, I would vote for gay marriage rights. As a Christian, I will not force my religious views on any one. As has been stated, if you’re not in favor of gay marriage, then don’t get one. I don’t understand why my fellow Christians take such an issue with the definition of marriage, when the state has no say in it anyway, and I have to call into question if their beliefs are based on faith or prejudice. I don’t think it’s a religious issue, as much as a tolerance issue. The two don’t _always_ go hand in hand. I like your viewpoint and the fact that you say fuck! Amen to that! ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496/76 "2008-11-08T00:59:20Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > Often they _do_ get them the same way. I know two guys, both fathered children when they were young and trying to play it straight, then when they were together, both ended up with the kids. How cute is that? That too! The whole “gay is WRONG because it doesn’t result in children” thing drives me batty. There are closeted gay men married to women with multiple kids - are they just totally ignorant of that? Don’t they watch the news ever? Inane. Never mind the fact that as far as I’m concerned there’s more than enough kids to go around so who cares if gay=kids or not. Geez! When you got people like the Duggar family pumping them out by the truckload, you can sleep soundly at night knowing that Adam & Steve’s deforesting carbon footprint will somehow live on through them by proxy. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496/77 "2008-11-08T06:46:34Z")
Waaaay (like more than 15 years ago) back when I lived in the People’s Republic of Boulder, there was this silly thing on the state ballot called Amendment 2. The same year that Colorado voted for FREAKIN’ JERRY BROWN in the primary. It was a terrible mess, click [here](http://www.religioustolerance.org/hom_laws7.htm) for the details. What I remember most from that night, is when the police showed up, ready for a riot, this person next to me shouting “What? Are you afraid we’re going to break into Foley’s and accessorize?” ---
**Author:** ![yola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/48db29/32.png) [@yola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yola)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496/78 "2008-11-08T11:47:16Z")
Hey! Teachers! Leave our kids alone! ---
**Author:** ![yola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/48db29/32.png) [@yola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yola)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496/79 "2008-11-08T11:51:39Z")
excuse me, pushed wrong button ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496/80 "2008-11-08T13:34:58Z")
> [@PetW](#): > > Really? Are lesbians really into the whole “Scissor Me Timbers!” South Park thing? Look up “tribadism” sometime. Alternatively, walk into your friendly neighborhood LGBT center and just say the word “tribadism” and watch as every female face in the room shoots in your direction immediately. Just don’t call it a “South Park thing” in there. > [@Cluricaun](#): > > I’d like to have this as an audiobook read either by Bill Hicks or George Carlin. I hear their voices have really gone to shit. > [@fifty-six](#): > > clap clap clap Look, we’re all getting a little excited, but I don’t think that sort of activity is really appropriate in this thread. > [@Shodan](#): > > I thought he was just trying to get the snowblower started. Well, yes, in a manner of speaking. > [@yola](#): > > excuse me, pushed wrong button Good thing you promptly realized your error, because you could’ve really set off a firestorm among California Dopers. Luckily, most of us are asleep… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-marriage-opponents-listen-up-ive-got-a-secret-to-tell-you/471496.md?page=5)