# Gay Pride? Why? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [June 2, 2003, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-pride-why/179196 "2003-06-02T19:32:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![musicguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ba0ec/32.png) [@musicguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/musicguy)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2003, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-pride-why/179196/1 "2003-06-02T19:32:28Z")
This thread is a result of a thread started by **Esprix** in IMHO which let everyone know that it is “Gay Pride Month” I don’t mean any disrespect but I have always been puzzled by the idea of gay pride. I am gay but I don’t feel any pride over it, basically because I don’t think I had a choice in the matter. I don’t feel any pride in being white, or because I have brown hair. I am proud of my accomplishments, proud of my work ethic, proud of the way I try to lead my life. These are all things that I have worked hard for. Understand that I am not ashamed by any means that I am gay, but I feel strange being proud of something that is so seemingly out of my control. I understand that for too long, gay people have had to deal with a certain aspect of society telling them that they are wrong, bad, etc. Still, I find the notion of being proud to be gay…strange. Having said that, I am very proud of others, gay and straight, who stand up against injustice and try to make the world a better place for everyone. Any thoughts? ---
**Author:** ![athelas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@athelas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/athelas)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2003, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-pride-why/179196/2 "2003-06-02T19:36:53Z")
They don’t want to be equal, they want to be thpethial! ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2003, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-pride-why/179196/3 "2003-06-02T19:39:55Z")
Dick. I’m straight, but I think the idea is that if people are telling you you should be ashamed of who/what you are and discriminate against you, you should respond just as loudly that you refuse. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2003, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-pride-why/179196/4 "2003-06-02T19:46:12Z")
I don’t think it’s so much a special pride in being gay that’s being espoused as much as it’s a statement that being gay should not make anyone feel shame. ---
**Author:** ![musicguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ba0ec/32.png) [@musicguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/musicguy)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2003, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-pride-why/179196/5 "2003-06-02T19:53:33Z")
**Marley23** I’m hoping that the “dick” remark was aimed at **athelas** and not myself. I’m just asking an honest question. I’m certainly not trying to be offensive to anyone. I can see your point concerning shame. I felt that shame for a good portion of my life. I wish that nobody was ashamed about their sexuality because there just isn’t anything to be ashamed about. But if there is nothing to be ashamed of, perhaps there isn’t something to be proud of either. ---
**Author:** ![Dob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Dob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dob)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2003, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-pride-why/179196/6 "2003-06-02T19:53:47Z")
I agree with musicguy in that why be proud of something you didnt choose to do? Im not proud im tall…I had no say in the matter! But of course following that logic, why have Black Pride month, or Hispanic Pride…etc… ---
**Author:** ![Major\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Major\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Major_Kong)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2003, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-pride-why/179196/7 "2003-06-02T20:05:39Z")
Main Entry: 1pride Pronunciation: 'prId Function: noun Etymology: Middle English, from Old English pryde, from prud proud – more at PROUD Date: before 12th century 1 : the quality or state of being proud: as a : inordinate self-esteem : CONCEIT b : a reasonable or justifiable self-respect c : delight or elation arising from some act, possession, or relationship \ 2 : proud or disdainful behavior or treatment : DISDAIN 3 a : ostentatious display b : highest pitch : PRIME 4 : a source of pride : the best in a group or class 5 : a company of lions 6 : a showy or impressive group \ **Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2003, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-pride-why/179196/8 "2003-06-02T20:08:17Z") > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by athelas \* > \*\*They don’t want to be equal, they want to be thpethial! \*\* When did it become acceptable to deride groups of people in Great Debates? ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2003, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-pride-why/179196/9 "2003-06-02T20:16:41Z")
I’ve always seen it as a celebration of community, but if pride isn’t your thing, I gather the gay community isn’t, either; so be it. As I remarked to my two friends who went to Long Beach Pride with me a few weeks ago, as it was the first time they’d been to a Pride celebration, isn’t it lovely how much diversity is reflected in our community - there were parade contingents that encompassed politics, healthcare, community service, families, nightclubs, social groups, various professions, and on and on and on. The message that not only the GLBT communities span every aspect of society, but also that “being gay” is as diverse as there are people, is such a positive, uplifting thing to me. Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Conflict\_of\_Interest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/57b2e6/32.png) [@Conflict\_of\_Interest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Conflict_of_Interest)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2003, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-pride-why/179196/10 "2003-06-02T20:17:12Z")
I agree with you assessment Dob. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Marley23 \* > \*\*Dick. > > I’m straight, but I think the idea is that if people are telling you you should be ashamed of who/what you are and discriminate against you, you should respond just as loudly that you refuse. \*\* Using that logic shouldn’t there be a White Male Pride month? They are always being told that they should be ashamed of who they are. Though athelas said it in a derogatory fashion, I think it is to say…See how special we are? ---
**Author:** ![Stonebow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Stonebow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stonebow)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2003, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-pride-why/179196/11 "2003-06-02T20:18:10Z")
I just think that it’s a direct response to the pre-existing ‘shaming’ movement that many gay people encounter. Responding to “you should be ashamed” with “i’m not ashamed, i’m…(indifferent?comfortable?happy?) about who i am” doesn’t pack the same punch. Pride is simply being used to set up a political distinction rather than any sort of literal ‘pride.’ ---
**Author:** ![musicguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ba0ec/32.png) [@musicguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/musicguy)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2003, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-pride-why/179196/12 "2003-06-02T20:22:03Z")
I agree, **Mockingbird**. **athelas** , Perhaps you could explain why you felt a need to respond to this thread. Your point has absolutely nothing to do with the topic and is quite offensive. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2003, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-pride-why/179196/13 "2003-06-02T20:30:52Z")
musicguy: Here are just a few threads where this question has been wrestled with. They always start with the simple question, then later in the thread come the putzes being sarcastic or snotty, and it seems to break down to a minority having a new understanding and the status quo being maintained for the rest. [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=73102&highlight=pride](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=73102&highlight=pride) [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=23047&highlight=pride](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=23047&highlight=pride) [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=69830&highlight=pride](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=69830&highlight=pride) ---
**Author:** ![Freyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freyr/32/5763_2.png) [@Freyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freyr)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2003, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-pride-why/179196/14 "2003-06-02T20:32:13Z")
Why am I proud to be gay? Good question. Being gay, like being a member of any minority, challenges us to examine many of the values and ideals we take as a given in today’s world. While being gay is more acceptable in this country and across the globe, not so many years ago, it wasn’t. A mere fifty years ago, it was viewed as a mental disease, an aberration that required strong measures to cure or prevent. By being gay, I challenge the preconceived notions of what it is to be a man and how I can express myself sexually with other consenting adults. I’ve challenged those notions within myself and in others and because of that, I’ve come to a better of understanding of myself. I’m not some sick, sinful deviant that many others would try to label me as. By being sure of my own position, I can go forward and engage society in a dialogue and hopefully have them examine their own preconceived notions about what it means to be a man or woman and how we express ourselves sexually. That’s what I’m proud of, to realize that everything I’m taught is not necessarily true and needs to be examined and challenged for veracity. And when I realize it’s not right, to stand up and fight against it. To fight for my right to be treated with respect like every other human being on the planet. That’s what I’m proud of; my own self-examination and standing up for the right to be different. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2003, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-pride-why/179196/15 "2003-06-02T20:36:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Conflict of Interest \* > **Using that logic shouldn’t there be a White Male Pride month? _They are always being told that they should be ashamed of who they are._** emphais mine Cite? ---
**Author:** ![musicguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ba0ec/32.png) [@musicguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/musicguy)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2003, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-pride-why/179196/16 "2003-06-02T20:37:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Esprix \* > \*\*I’ve always seen it as a celebration of community, but if pride isn’t your thing, I gather the gay community isn’t, either; so be it. > Esprix \*\* That seems a bit harsh. Actually, in the past few months, I have spent quite a bit of time in Hillcrest, in San Diego, (your neck of the woods) and have been quite impressed and moved by the gay community there. I find it wonderful that there can be a place where I can walk around and be openly gay with my boyfriend. It has had quite an effect on me and I think community is a very important and beautiful thing. I will admit that I have never been to a gay pride festival and I am thinking that it would be a good idea to get a better idea of the whole concept. “Pride” has always just seemed to be inappropriate. I wish I could think of a name that would be better. “Gay Celebration”, perhaps. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2003, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-pride-why/179196/17 "2003-06-02T20:38:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Conflict of Interest \* > \*\*I agree with you assessment Dob. > > Using that logic shouldn’t there be a White Male Pride month? They are always being told that they should be ashamed of who they are. > > Though athelas said it in a derogatory fashion, I think it is to say…See how special we are? \*\* That is _also_ always brought up in these threads and appears in the above links. _Every_ day is straight pride day. And that white males are always told they should be ashamed is because they have been and are the reigining power structure. The patriarchy is the structure that is being railed against, not every individual white male. How sad that gay pride **day** is such an issue for some people. ---
**Author:** ![Major\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Major\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Major_Kong)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2003, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-pride-why/179196/18 "2003-06-02T20:45:54Z")
And nothing is preventing you from having White Pride Day. ---
**Author:** ![musicguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ba0ec/32.png) [@musicguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/musicguy)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2003, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-pride-why/179196/19 "2003-06-02T20:56:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Freyr \* > \*\* > That’s what I’m proud of; my own self-examination and standing up for the right to be different. \*\* Thank you for that post. I see where you are coming from. I don’t think that being gay, in and of itself, is necessarily something to be proud of, but surviving and being happy in a primarily straight world, considering the amount of bigotry one must face, is an accomplishment. To be able to do that is something that one should be proud of. ---
**Author:** ![Conflict\_of\_Interest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/57b2e6/32.png) [@Conflict\_of\_Interest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Conflict_of_Interest)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2003, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-pride-why/179196/20 "2003-06-02T20:59:15Z")
I don’t need a day/month to feel pride in who I am. I noticed many gays in this thread say that pride comes with what you do with your life. Not with the “lables” people give you. This is all I’ve been trying to say. Major King, I don’t want or need one. I can feel pride in who and what I am without having one just like musicguy does. Mockingbird, just how is everyday straight pride day? Your logic escapes me. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-pride-why/179196.md?page=2)