# Gay vs straight people--willingness to date a transsexual person? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-vs-straight-people-willingness-to-date-a-transsexual-person/537187 "2010-04-24T07:25:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Rune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e68b1a/32.png) [@Rune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rune)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2010, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-vs-straight-people-willingness-to-date-a-transsexual-person/537187/61 "2010-04-26T07:05:37Z")
No. They can’t have children. ---
**Author:** ![umop\_ap\_sdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/dbc845/32.png) [@umop\_ap\_sdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umop_ap_sdn)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2010, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-vs-straight-people-willingness-to-date-a-transsexual-person/537187/62 "2010-04-26T07:31:53Z")
Just to clarify the OP… > [@](#): > > they’re otherwise your “type.” I’m assuming this includes finding them physically attractive? ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2010, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-vs-straight-people-willingness-to-date-a-transsexual-person/537187/63 "2010-04-26T07:49:51Z")
Straight and No- EXCEPT if they were born intersexed, genetically tested & shown to be predominantly female & so was surgically transitioned to & raised as a girl. So basically, 99% Straight & No. Why is everyone so apologetic about saying No? Isn’t the SDMB all about everyone’s right to their non-harmful sexual preferences? ---
**Author:** ![Lunchy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Lunchy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lunchy)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2010, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-vs-straight-people-willingness-to-date-a-transsexual-person/537187/64 "2010-04-26T07:53:18Z")
Male-Straight. Just the thought is vomit inducing. Like someone said earlier in the thread, there are just some things you can’t replicate. A nice woman (physically) is a beautiful piece of art, even if you could replicate it down to the last bone, there is still a woman’s mentality (I believe), is also un-replicable [right word?]. ---
**Author:** ![nicole1912](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9de0a6/32.png) [@nicole1912](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nicole1912)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2010, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-vs-straight-people-willingness-to-date-a-transsexual-person/537187/65 "2010-04-26T10:53:18Z")
> [@Lunchy](#): > > Male-Straight. Just the thought is vomit inducing. Like someone said earlier in the thread, there are just some things you can’t replicate. A nice woman (physically) is a beautiful piece of art, even if you could replicate it down to the last bone, there is still a woman’s mentality (I believe), is also un-replicable [right word?]. Surely transgendered women _do_ have that “woman’s mentality” you speak of - that’s the whole point. They’re not changing their physical gender just for fun, they’re doing it to make the outside match the inside. (I voted bi, maybe - in principle, I have no problem with it at all, but I’ve not known anyone who has identified themselves to me as trans, so I couldn’t say for sure.) ---
**Author:** ![miss\_elizabeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@miss\_elizabeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miss_elizabeth)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2010, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-vs-straight-people-willingness-to-date-a-transsexual-person/537187/66 "2010-04-26T14:37:49Z")
> [@Lunchy](#): > > Male-Straight. Just the thought is vomit inducing. Like someone said earlier in the thread, there are just some things you can’t replicate. A nice woman (physically) is a beautiful piece of art, even if you could replicate it down to the last bone, there is still a woman’s mentality (I believe), is also un-replicable [right word?]. So gross. A woman is not a “piece of art;” a woman is an individual with feelings and thoughts and desires. And “a woman’s mentality”? What does that even mean? “Vomit inducing”? :mad: :rolleyes: I voted yes because when I care for someone I care for what is inside of them. Not their genitals. I can see not being attracted to someone because they have the wrong parts, but saying someone’s body is vomit inducing is over the line. No way. What’s vomit inducing is the attitude that a woman is some kind of precious rare art piece. Yuck. ---
**Author:** ![Mycroft\_Holmes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a5b964/32.png) [@Mycroft\_Holmes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mycroft_Holmes)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2010, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-vs-straight-people-willingness-to-date-a-transsexual-person/537187/67 "2010-04-26T14:57:49Z")
Straigt and voted yes. Doesn’t matter if it’s pre-op, post-op, whatever. If it’s someone I’m attracted to it doesn’t really make a difference to me what appendage goes in which orifice. Fun can be had in many different variations ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2010, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-vs-straight-people-willingness-to-date-a-transsexual-person/537187/68 "2010-04-26T15:21:47Z")
Straight male, and not proud of it, but no. In fact, I think I’d have an easier time going gay with a FtM than I would being hetero with a MtF. I don’t think I’d do either, though. ---
**Author:** ![AqualungBats5th](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6bbea6/32.png) [@AqualungBats5th](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AqualungBats5th)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2010, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-vs-straight-people-willingness-to-date-a-transsexual-person/537187/69 "2010-04-26T15:21:55Z")
> [@SanVito](#): > > I struggle with this one because I’d really like to say I would, but I don’t think so. There’s a subtlety to femininity that goes beyond having the right parts thats hard for me to put my finger on - life experience? Skin? (don’t laugh, skin is a big part of what I find physically wonderful about women, a woman’s skin is soooo much softer). Body shape? They way they walk? After being on estrogen, an MTF’s skin will change to the softer variety found in ciswomen. As for “life experience”? :dubious: One, life experience varies so much between ciswomen that it seems pointless to use that as a reason not to get involved with transwomen. Two, if you’re suggesting that growing up being gendered as female, menstruating, etc gives someone subtle femininity? I suggest you meet more transmen. They’ll set you right. ---
**Author:** ![PatriotGrrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9dc877/32.png) [@PatriotGrrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatriotGrrrl)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2010, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-vs-straight-people-willingness-to-date-a-transsexual-person/537187/70 "2010-04-26T15:49:31Z")
No. Have them as a friend, sure. But relationships are complicated as it is, and, well, that isn’t going to make it any simpler. I have enough trouble understanding ordinary people. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2010, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-vs-straight-people-willingness-to-date-a-transsexual-person/537187/71 "2010-04-26T16:30:08Z")
Well, I’m a straight woman and I didn’t vote because I’m married; however, if I found out that my husband used to be a woman I would have a few thoughts: 1. I would be annoyed that he hadn’t mentioned it before now. 2. I would be impressed, 'cus I’m currently knocked up - so well done doctors 3. I would be more impressed, 'cus he really looks like a dude. Finally, 4. I wouldn’t care because he’s my husband, he’s always been a man since I’ve known him and his about as manly as guy can get. However, I realize that’s really not what the poll is about so I didn’t vote. ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2010, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-vs-straight-people-willingness-to-date-a-transsexual-person/537187/72 "2010-04-26T16:45:24Z")
Straight male and no problem. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2010, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-vs-straight-people-willingness-to-date-a-transsexual-person/537187/73 "2010-04-26T16:53:47Z")
Straight male, not sure. I just haven’t been attracted to any that I have known about despite some of them being good looking enough that I _wish_ I were attracted to them. Maybe it’s pheromonic or something. So I picked “maybe” because maybe I just haven’t met the right one 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Lunchy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Lunchy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lunchy)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2010, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-vs-straight-people-willingness-to-date-a-transsexual-person/537187/74 "2010-04-26T23:45:06Z")
> [@miss\_elizabeth](#): > > So gross. A woman is not a “piece of art;” a woman is an individual with feelings and thoughts and desires. And “a woman’s mentality”? What does that even mean? “Vomit inducing”? :mad: :rolleyes: > > I voted yes because when I care for someone I care for what is inside of them. Not their genitals. I can see not being attracted to someone because they have the wrong parts, but saying someone’s body is vomit inducing is over the line. No way. What’s vomit inducing is the attitude that a woman is some kind of precious rare art piece. Yuck. Well, since you wanted to be willfully dense, I will spell it out for you! The female form is beautiful. You can go on and assume that Im a pig and think women are property if you must! ---
**Author:** ![Lunchy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Lunchy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lunchy)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2010, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-vs-straight-people-willingness-to-date-a-transsexual-person/537187/75 "2010-04-26T23:47:23Z")
> [@bup](#): > > Straight male, and not proud of it, but no. > > In fact, I think I’d have an easier time going gay with a FtM than I would being hetero with a MtF. I don’t think I’d do either, though. Not proud of what? Being straight? That must suck! ---
**Author:** ![AqualungBats5th](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6bbea6/32.png) [@AqualungBats5th](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AqualungBats5th)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-vs-straight-people-willingness-to-date-a-transsexual-person/537187/76 "2010-04-27T00:48:32Z")
> [@Lunchy](#): > > Well, since you wanted to be willfully dense, I will spell it out for you! The female form is beautiful. You can go on and assume that Im a pig and think women are property if you must! Your ideal of the female form, you mean. All of the traits you’d likely find unattractive in transwomen can be found in ciswomen in droves (including adam’s apples, facial hair, muscles, being much taller than average, deep voice), though granted most ciswomen do not have all of these traits at once. The “female form” is so widely varied in reality that your statement is absurd. ---
**Author:** ![Lunchy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Lunchy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lunchy)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-vs-straight-people-willingness-to-date-a-transsexual-person/537187/77 "2010-04-27T01:17:41Z")
> [@AqualungBats5th](#): > > Your ideal of the female form, you mean. All of the traits you’d likely find unattractive in transwomen can be found in ciswomen in droves (including adam’s apples, facial hair, muscles, being much taller than average, deep voice), though granted most ciswomen do not have all of these traits at once. The “female form” is so widely varied in reality that your statement is absurd. Yes, soo absurd. You realize males and females have different bone structures that no amount of surgery can change! ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-vs-straight-people-willingness-to-date-a-transsexual-person/537187/78 "2010-04-27T01:26:43Z")
[Stern Moderator Note]Take the debate to the Great Debates thread linked to in post #54, or I will start issuing infractions.[/Stern Moderator Note] ---
**Author:** ![AqualungBats5th](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6bbea6/32.png) [@AqualungBats5th](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AqualungBats5th)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-vs-straight-people-willingness-to-date-a-transsexual-person/537187/79 "2010-04-27T01:30:26Z")
Sorry. I’ll move this post to the other thread. ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-vs-straight-people-willingness-to-date-a-transsexual-person/537187/80 "2010-04-27T13:07:41Z")
> [@AqualungBats5th](#): > > After being on estrogen, an MTF’s skin will change to the softer variety found in ciswomen. > > As for “life experience”? :dubious: One, life experience varies so much between ciswomen that it seems pointless to use that as a reason not to get involved with transwomen. Two, if you’re suggesting that growing up being gendered as female, menstruating, etc gives someone subtle femininity? I suggest you meet more transmen. They’ll set you right. I’m sorry if you take offense at what I said, but I was struggling to put my finger on what the difference is, and failing to find the answer, obviously. All I can say is that I’ve met a number of MTFs who don’t fit what I personally find so attractive about women. My girlfriend is much more adrogenous in outward appearance than the MTFs that I’ve met, but seems much more feminine to me. And I agree with rivulus about the trying too hard thing. But then I don’t find make-up and shoe obsessed women who can’t carry their own bags of any background attractive. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-vs-straight-people-willingness-to-date-a-transsexual-person/537187.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gay-vs-straight-people-willingness-to-date-a-transsexual-person/537187.md?page=5)