# Gaydar ? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 15, 2002, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297 "2002-10-15T11:50:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![dragongirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b38774/32.png) [@dragongirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragongirl)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2002, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/1 "2002-10-15T11:50:15Z")
This one is for the gay folks out there. How accurate is you GAYDAR ? I ask because IRL, I’ve only know one gay man. He inststed that every boyfriend I ever introduced him to was also gay, but still in the closet. I remember him telling me that my boyfriends also had nice asses. I eventually married one of the guy that he insisted was gay. He’s not. I’m thinking about this again, because there is a singer that I like a lot and when I was reading the MB at his website, there was a debate about his sexuality. The singer is a sensitive guy, but does that mean he’s gay ? I don’t think so. Most of the gay guys on that MB seem to be convinced he’s gay too. I don’t really care one way or another, I just love the music. So, I guess I’m wondering, is there some type of vibe that’s sent out there that I’m not aware of ? Do you find that you are usually right about people ? Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Eleusis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Eleusis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eleusis)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2002, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/2 "2002-10-15T12:24:30Z")
IANAH but it sounds like your gay acquaintance has a case of wishful thinking. And no, sensitive doesn’t equal gay. ---
**Author:** ![butter\_pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@butter\_pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butter_pie)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2002, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/3 "2002-10-15T14:26:16Z")
_Usually_ if I think someone is, then I’m right, though I could think they weren’t and be wrong. Does that make sense? I don’t know if it could really be called a vibe. The only logical explanation I can think of is that I’m pretty in tune to people’s body language, and they probably have some subtle differences interacting with me just like there are differences between straight men and women. I wouldn’t be able to tell from a photograph though, it would have to be someone that I was talking with or something. ---
**Author:** ![Eleusis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Eleusis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eleusis)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2002, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/4 "2002-10-15T14:43:01Z")
**jinwicked** another logical explanation is that the individuals you think are gay, are uhh… more _flaming_ (is that an insult?) than the general gay population and thus easier to recognize. Others that don’t stand out in the crowd fly under the gaydar. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2002, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/5 "2002-10-15T16:22:16Z")
I returned my gaydar. I’m currently researching the latest available models and hope to have a new one very soon. What prompted me to return my gaydar? I read on this board that Christopher Lowell isn’t gay. To my knowledge, I’m not gay, though. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2002, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/6 "2002-10-15T17:23:33Z")
I hear that black people have something similar, “blackdar”, where they can detect if another person is black. Yeah, I stole that from The Onion, so sue me. ---
**Author:** ![Jabba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5e925/32.png) [@Jabba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jabba)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2002, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/7 "2002-10-15T17:36:56Z")
**dragongirl** , you know **Esprix** is gonna be mighty offended you didn’t put this in ATGG, right? ---
**Author:** ![Ringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Ringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ringo)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2002, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/8 "2002-10-15T18:10:20Z")
Based on my own experience, a lot of folks have very poorly functioning gaydar. ---
**Author:** ![dragongirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b38774/32.png) [@dragongirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragongirl)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2002, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/9 "2002-10-15T18:42:55Z")
> [@](#): > > dragongirl, you know Esprix is gonna be mighty offended you didn’t put this in ATGG, right? I didn’t want to bump it if it dropped off somewhere. No offence to **Esprix**. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2002, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/10 "2002-10-15T19:21:31Z")
[Steve Martin voice] The new homobooks are here! The new homobooks are here! [/Steve Martin voice] The thing about gaydar is that it must be switched on, however briefly, in order to meet it’s goal. Provided some stealthy deception is not in place, at this point “missle lock” is conceivable. The goal of the missle is, appropriately, to find the hottest part of the target. Disclaimer: This information was not supplied by any Jane’s. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2002, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/11 "2002-10-15T19:37:58Z")
So who’s the singer? Yes, **Rufus Wainwright** is gay. Gaydar? I was married for nearly 4 years before I figured out _I_ was gay. And another two years to figure out my ex wife was too. ---
**Author:** ![dragongirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b38774/32.png) [@dragongirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragongirl)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2002, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/12 "2002-10-15T20:11:34Z")
Duncan Sheik ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2002, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/13 "2002-10-15T20:22:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JuanitaTech \* > \*\* > What prompted me to return my gaydar? I read on this board that Christopher Lowell isn’t gay. > \*\* Holy crap! You’re not kidding? My gaydar runs off of a TRS 80…so kind of out of date…but I thought Lowell was a slam dunk. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2002, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/14 "2002-10-15T21:40:02Z")
\ That’s ok. Nobody loves me… ☹ Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2002, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/15 "2002-10-15T21:46:51Z")
Some gay folk have the gay equivalent of tinfoil hats, which as you know show up as big blips even of low-power civilian gaydar. Others gays are clad in GAM (gaydar-absorbent-materials), such as polyester suits. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2002, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/16 "2002-10-15T21:50:40Z")
Homebrew, do you and your ex do the dog show circuit? ---
**Author:** ![Alereon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@Alereon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alereon)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2002, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/17 "2002-10-15T23:51:01Z")
I’m not gay, but my male gaydar is a finely honed istrument with military precision. I can generally tell quite quickly when someone I meet is gay, even if there are no outward signs I can point to. I “just know.” I have no lesbiandar to speak of, however… ---
**Author:** ![Kimmom2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Kimmom2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimmom2)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2002, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/18 "2002-10-16T02:43:58Z")
Does gaydar work on the same principle as “mardar” when you can just tell when someone is married? ---
**Author:** ![tarragon918](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d26b3c/32.png) [@tarragon918](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tarragon918)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2002, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/19 "2002-10-16T03:24:09Z")
I can only share that my Dad thinks that he has gaydar … however, he also thinks that nearly -everyone- is gay. 😉 (LOL I shouldn’t admit this, but that statement is fairly close to the truth!) ---
**Author:** ![Daowajan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@Daowajan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daowajan)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2002, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/20 "2002-10-16T03:46:50Z")
Mine used to suck, but now that I meet not-straight people regularly, it’s improving. Although I still think I’m only noticing the really flaming folk, and a lot of others are flying under my gaydar. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297.md?page=2)