# Gaydar ? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 15, 2002, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297 "2002-10-15T11:50:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2002, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/21 "2002-10-16T06:04:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Esprix \* > \*\*\ That’s ok. Nobody loves me… ☹ > > Esprix \*\* _SLURP_ I wouldn’t say _that_… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![MrVisible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@MrVisible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrVisible)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2002, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/22 "2002-10-16T06:20:39Z")
Funny that this’d come up tonight. My gaydar is completely crappy; usually someone has to flounce, mince, and profess an undying love for Judy Garland before I even begin to suspect that they’re gay. Which, given my sexual orientation, is a bummer. But this evening, shopping at Albertson’s with my boyfriend, my gaydar started blaring. I swear, it went off even before I saw the guys in question; there was a group of them, not too obvious, but for some reason my gaydar figured I needed to know all about their sexual orientation. It just goes to show you; everyone should wear nametags with their Kinsey scale rating in large bright red numerals. Flashing. ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2002, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/23 "2002-10-16T07:11:29Z")
He may be adhering to the _occasionally_ accurate rule that a man who looks directly into the eye of another guy he meets / sees for the first time is showing a sexual interest. As a rule, str8 guys won’t look directly into an unknown guy’s eyes, he’ll look away after several seconds of discomfort. But, that rule, like most others, has way too many exceptions to be an accurate indicator. ---
**Author:** ![jkusters](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/fbc32d/32.png) [@jkusters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jkusters)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2002, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/24 "2002-10-16T08:02:58Z")
My gaydar seems to be reasonably accurate, as far as I can tell. Unfortunately, it’s very slow. I usually need quite a bit of interaction with someone before I’m certain. It usually picks up on a combination of pronoun usage, the person’s interests, political inclinations, grooming habits, taste in clothing and jewelry, and the like. None of these by themselves is indicative, but certain combinations usually give gay men away. Of course, the whole process goes a lot quicker when the person says something like, “Well, me and the partner were checking out this web page on the new laptop he got me for our anniversary…” 🙂 JOhn. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2002, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/25 "2002-10-16T14:58:28Z")
Nice _Best of Show_ reference there, **JuanitaTech**. But, alas, no. I don’t have animals as roommates. I’ve tried in the past, but it always led to heartache or an angry breakup. About the same as my relations with _people_. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2002, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/26 "2002-10-16T15:00:42Z")
Best _in_ Show. ---
**Author:** ![dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dorkusmalorkusmafia/32/7266_2.png) [@dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dorkusmalorkusmafia)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2002, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/27 "2002-10-16T15:11:15Z")
Side note, Christopher Lowell’s decorating books are now being prominantly displayed in most of the gay bookstores in the area. Ellen Degeneres did this before she came out as did Rosie O’Donnell. He may have said he wasn’t gay at one time but I am betting that he will recant it at some time in the near future. I can tend to spot gay people about 90% of the time. The other 10% is just wishful thinking. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2002, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/28 "2002-10-16T16:03:16Z")
My gaydar is reasonable, my lesdar is highly tuned. I’ve spent 13 out of the last 19 years in the proximity of lesbians, living with them or being close friends with them ( or both ). I’m fairly on the money from what I am told. But then, MY personal fave thing to do is hone my AsianDar. I meet a person, especially a child, and figure out if they are Chinese, Korean, Japanese, VietNamesee, Thai. Ooooh… Love that. My percentages aren’t as good as the gaydar, but it always fascinates me. Both of my kids are Korean, but one has the classic Mongol round face, and one has the triangular classic southeast Asian VietNam/Thai/Cambodian face. So, I’m fascinated by that. Cartooniverse ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2002, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/29 "2002-10-16T18:40:41Z")
\ Good lord, **jkusters** is posting. \ **RUN! FOR GOD’S SAKE, SAVE YOURSELVES! _RUN!!!_** \ Thenkyew. Esprix ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2002, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/30 "2002-10-16T19:10:31Z")
My lesdar’s pretty weak too. I’m pretty sure I beeped one last week but admittedly it took her cigar to set it off. ---
**Author:** ![kevja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/aeb1de/32.png) [@kevja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kevja)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2002, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/31 "2002-10-16T22:09:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JohnBckWLD \* > \*\*He may be adhering to the _occasionally_ accurate rule that a man who looks directly into the eye of another guy he meets / sees for the first time is showing a sexual interest. > > As a rule, str8 guys won’t look directly into an unknown guy’s eyes, he’ll look away after several seconds of discomfort. But, that rule, like most others, has way too many exceptions to be an accurate indicator. \*\* You choose you language very carefully, but eye contact is an important part of it. At least when it’s gay-to-gay gaydar. I just can’t picture a srt8 guy looking into another mans eyes for more than a nano second, if that. And if Christopher Lowell is srt8, he’s living in the same closet Liberace was in. But it’s not all about manerisms. And that too has become a cliche. The masculine guy can be gay, and the "sensitive,"or “silly,” or(some other sterotype description) guy can be str8. ---
**Author:** ![Ringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Ringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ringo)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2002, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/32 "2002-10-17T04:57:03Z")
> [@](#): > > I just can’t picture a srt8[_sic_] guy looking into another mans[_sic_] eyes for more than a nano second, if that. I must admit I find that statement bizarre. You’re not in business, are you? I’m straight, and much of my communication with my male (and female) friends is by eye signal. But new acquaintance are always greeted eye-to-eye. I really don’t understand what you’ve attempted to say. Perhaps this is some miscommunication rampant in gay culture? Perhaps this to some degree explains how faulty gaydar seems to me? ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2002, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/33 "2002-10-17T06:27:27Z")
Hmmmm… All of a sudden, I have a great idea for a new M_A_S\*H character. ---
**Author:** ![OxyMoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e9a140/32.png) [@OxyMoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OxyMoron)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2002, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/34 "2002-10-17T14:29:23Z")
The holding-onto-the-glance thing is right on the money, I think. It probably amounts to nanoseconds’ difference, but that’s perceptable. It’s not that straight guys don’t make eye contact at all - it’s that gay guys hold on just slightly longer and, I suspect, with the eyelids just a little wider. ---
**Author:** ![dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dorkusmalorkusmafia/32/7266_2.png) [@dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dorkusmalorkusmafia)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2002, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/35 "2002-10-17T15:40:46Z")
Ringo, meeting people is different as it is a common courtesy. The eye contact thing in the wild ™ happens significantly less with straight men in public. Also, spotting gay men and straight men on the street that way is also different. OxyMoron has it basically right. Gay men hold the gaze a bit longer and it may be accompanied by different body language though not necessarily. ---
**Author:** ![japatlgt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df705f/32.png) [@japatlgt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/japatlgt)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2002, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/36 "2002-10-17T16:07:04Z")
Let’s see, is this IMHO? It is? Oh, good. I think gaydar is absolutely the most ignorant concept that’s been come up with since little green men. There is no such thing but there are varying degrees of delusion, if you like. Meeting someone with “gaydar” is as enjoyable as meeting any other kook. Gaydar my ass! \ ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2002, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/37 "2002-10-18T01:00:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by japatlgt \* > Gaydar my ass! Your ass is saying yes, but your hand is saying no;) [sub]OW OW OW! STOP HITTING ME WITH THOSE FLAMETHROWERS! I GIVE ALREADY![/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2002, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/38 "2002-10-18T08:03:13Z")
Gaydar [test](http://www.androgirl.com/gaydar.html) ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2002, 9:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/39 "2002-10-18T09:48:44Z")
But it cannot be denied, **jap** , that some people are better at telling who is and who isn’t than others. You may call it what you will. Esprix ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/40 "2002-10-20T23:54:01Z")
Count me as another straight guy with pretty damn good gaydar. Big hints … 1. Men who hold eye contact for an unfomfortably long period of time. 2. Two men together, both with the same height, same build, same style of clothing, same style of hair, and same mannerisms. They’re a bit more neatly attired than two straight men together; the body language also seems a bit different. 3. Two or more women together, all stocky or dressed in a manner that conceals their figure, with short hair, little makeup, and a serious demeanor. I have horrible gaydar when it comes to women who are alone; it’s very hard for me to tell. I know many women who have a stereotypical “lesbian look” – stocky, no makeup, a butch demeanor – who are very straight. In college, I dated one girl who over the period of a few months became more butch, after which she “discovered herself.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297.md?page=3)