# Gaydar ? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 15, 2002, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297 "2002-10-15T11:50:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2002, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/41 "2002-10-21T02:55:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kimmom2 \* > \*\*Does gaydar work on the same principle as “mardar” when you can just tell when someone is married? \*\* Nah, that’s more of a lack of the desperation that one tends to find in the non-marrieds. As a heterosexual female, I find that men who don’t automatically sneak looks at my rack are a good bet. Same for women who do. And a propensity for random pop culture referances. And the old stereotypes: neat and thin. Though I have known many, many slobbish and/or large gay men. Usually, though, it’s the total lack of sexual chemistry. But that’s gotten me into trouble. I was in a gay bar, at karaoke night, and this guy who I really assumed was gay totally hit on me and bought me a drink. Turns out he was bisexual, and according to my friend (whom he had also hit on), was a “man whore.” So even a big ole’ fag hag who has as many close gay friends as straight friends can be totally off. But not on Christopher Lowell. That child is gayer then Mardi Gras. ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2002, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/42 "2002-10-21T02:57:01Z")
Whoops. double negative. I meant that married people have a lack of desperation. Feh. ---
**Author:** ![Jervoise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d2c977/32.png) [@Jervoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jervoise)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2002, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/43 "2002-10-21T08:00:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elmwood \* > **2) Two men together, both with the same height, same build, same style of clothing, same style of hair, and same mannerisms. They’re a bit more neatly attired than two straight men together; the body language also seems a bit different.** Ack! I sincerely hope this is not the case. My best friend is exactly the same height and weight as me. Like most young men, our clothes are pretty similar. We’ve known each other for more than 10 years, so our mannerisms are pretty much identical. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Civil\_Defense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Civil\_Defense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Civil_Defense)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2002, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/44 "2002-10-21T08:13:12Z")
Gaydar definitely exists. I first realized I had it about a year and a half ago and have since then honed it to perfection. My ex boyfriend had never come out to anyone in his entire life until 2 months after I befriended him and he told me. Basically, I saw him at a party for about 10 seconds, told my friend “he’s gay and I want him.” and the rest is history. My current boyfriend was much the same way. My friends (who are his friends this year at college) weren’t sure, so they had me come down and verify. Given 20 seconds, I was 100% certain he was. A few weeks later, we were an item. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2002, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/45 "2002-10-21T08:25:46Z")
Why not ask [Gaydar the Magnificent](http://www.brunching.com/gaydar.html)? ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2002, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/46 "2002-10-21T22:40:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SwimmingRiddles \* > \*\* > And a propensity for random pop culture referances. Gras. \*\* Can you elaborate on this? ---
**Author:** ![Ol\_Gaffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Ol\_Gaffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ol_Gaffer)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2002, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/47 "2002-10-21T22:51:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elmwood \* > \*\* > > \ > > 1. Two or more women together, all stocky or dressed in a manner that conceals their figure, with short hair, little makeup, and a serious demeanor. > > \ > > I know many women who have a stereotypical “lesbian look” – stocky, no makeup, a butch demeanor – who are very straight. > > \ > > \*\* I never realized that gay women had such a propensity for being “stocky.” ---
**Author:** ![kevja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/aeb1de/32.png) [@kevja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kevja)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2002, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297/48 "2002-10-21T23:00:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ringo \* > \*\* > > I must admit I find that statement bizarre. You’re not in business, are you? > > I’m straight, and much of my communication with my male (and female) friends is by eye signal. But new acquaintance are always greeted eye-to-eye. > > I really don’t understand what you’ve attempted to say. > > Perhaps this is some miscommunication rampant in gay culture? Perhaps this to some degree explains how faulty gaydar seems to me? \*\* You’re right. On the surface that seems a little bizarre. I guess I should have said eye contact with strangers, in non business, non nice to meet you situations. Here’s another wild statement while we’re on the subject. Imho, I would say that 99% of the time a gay male makes eye contact with another man he’s going to be able to tell if the other guy is gay or not. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaydar/132297.md?page=2)