# Gays: Are You Annoyed by Straights in Gay Bars? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 12, 2011, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gays-are-you-annoyed-by-straights-in-gay-bars/581700 "2011-05-12T20:01:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2011, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gays-are-you-annoyed-by-straights-in-gay-bars/581700/101 "2011-05-20T09:08:11Z")
If there’s one thing we gays know how to do properly it’s get shit faced. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2011, 9:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gays-are-you-annoyed-by-straights-in-gay-bars/581700/102 "2011-05-20T09:51:05Z")
> [@SanVito](#): > > Well, to be fair, it’s in London, so there’s a larger pool of professional gaygirls than in your average town, and I’m not sure it’s exactly a money-making business. The people who run it do it as a club in their spare time. They haven’t responded to my email requesting membership (that’s their sign-up method). Seems they don’t want me. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2011, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gays-are-you-annoyed-by-straights-in-gay-bars/581700/103 "2011-05-20T10:15:32Z")
> [@SciFiSam](#): > > They haven’t responded to my email requesting membership (that’s their sign-up method). Seems they don’t want me. ☹ Or they’re just really disorganised. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2011, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gays-are-you-annoyed-by-straights-in-gay-bars/581700/104 "2011-05-20T15:08:52Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > FFS, people. It’s only a slur in the UK. Everywhere else, it’s like saying “Aussie”. Can we please get over this hypersensitivity? No, it isn’t (although I have no problem with **AK** using it; I was just surprised.) ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2011, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gays-are-you-annoyed-by-straights-in-gay-bars/581700/105 "2011-05-22T06:58:22Z")
Based on how I am feeling at the moment, I will change my response to a yes. I just left my favorite bar and may not return because I’m sick of it being full of women and the straight guys that follow them. The entire feel is changing and I really don’t like it. ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2011, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gays-are-you-annoyed-by-straights-in-gay-bars/581700/106 "2011-05-22T08:48:36Z")
> [@Antinor01](#): > > Based on how I am feeling at the moment, I will change my response to a yes. I just left my favorite bar and may not return because I’m sick of it being full of women and the straight guys that follow them. The entire feel is changing and I really don’t like it. Ooh yes, not good. Quite often lesbian bars/clubs here (UK) specify ‘women and their male guests only’ to avoid gangs of straight people coming independently to ogle. That way, at least the straight people there are respectful. They also have a ‘no men’ policy when dancers are performing, for obvious reasons. ---
**Author:** ![raindog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@raindog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raindog)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2011, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gays-are-you-annoyed-by-straights-in-gay-bars/581700/107 "2011-05-22T11:30:57Z")
> [@Capitaine\_Zombie](#): > > What pisses me off when Im in a gay bar is the hordes of Abe Lincoln lookalikes. > What gives? Are they generally talking to astronauts and and ground hogs when you see them? ---
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2011, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gays-are-you-annoyed-by-straights-in-gay-bars/581700/108 "2011-05-22T15:59:18Z")
> [@Antinor01](#): > > Based on how I am feeling at the moment, I will change my response to a yes. I just left my favorite bar and may not return because I’m sick of it being full of women and the straight guys that follow them. The entire feel is changing and I really don’t like it. Oh dear, doesn’t sound good. Details? ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2011, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gays-are-you-annoyed-by-straights-in-gay-bars/581700/109 "2011-05-23T00:14:35Z")
> [@Capitaine\_Zombie](#): > > What pisses me off when Im in a gay bar is the hordes of Abe Lincoln lookalikes. > What gives? I always thought Lincoln was hot. I’ve obviously gone to the wrong bars. ---
**Author:** ![Balthisar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/balthisar/32/2825_2.png) [@Balthisar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balthisar)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2011, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gays-are-you-annoyed-by-straights-in-gay-bars/581700/110 "2011-05-23T01:18:45Z")
> [@DeepLiquid](#): > > Amen sister. We live in a medium sized town that has one gay bar, it’s been invaded by the local college kids because it’s the only decent dance bar around. My partner and I have no place in our community where we can be “us”, we save that for vacations to places where that can happen. I miss our bar. That raises an interesting (to me) question. Are “gay bars” generally designed/intended to be such, or do they just sort of become gays bars because of the clientele that frequents them? In the case of your gay bar, maybe it’s just not a gay bar anymore because of who now frequents it? Maybe I’m way off base, but if I were to open a bar and not discriminate, I’d have no say over whether it were a gay bar or not. It would be what it were. ---
**Author:** ![DeepLiquid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/deepliquid/32/14893_2.png) [@DeepLiquid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeepLiquid)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2011, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gays-are-you-annoyed-by-straights-in-gay-bars/581700/111 "2011-05-23T01:27:40Z")
> [@Balthisar](#): > > That raises an interesting (to me) question. Are “gay bars” generally designed/intended to be such, or do they just sort of become gays bars because of the clientele that frequents them? In the case of your gay bar, maybe it’s just not a gay bar anymore because of who now frequents it? > > Maybe I’m way off base, but if I were to open a bar and not discriminate, I’d have no say over whether it were a gay bar or not. It would be what it were. I can’t speak to other locales but this particular bar has been owned, operated, and marketed as a “Gay Bar” for 30 years. As far as how a gay bar comes to be, the ones I know of are typically opened by someone in the LGBT community and cater expressly to LGBT people. They are marketed in gay media and are designed to appeal to a certain market segment. For example, The Eagle is set up with a play area, a small neighborhood lesbian bar will, without fail, have a pool table. ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2011, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gays-are-you-annoyed-by-straights-in-gay-bars/581700/112 "2011-05-23T03:07:53Z")
> [@Kimmy\_Gibbler](#): > > Depends on the bar. Depends on the straight people there. > > Generally, no. If it’s a bunch of bachelorette women who are looking for some _Will & Grace_ minstrelsy, yes. If the bar is very cruisey (and if so, it will typically be in or around the backroom) and one is there merely to gawk, yes. But, by and large, no. And when there is annoyance, it’s usually directed at the women. Straight men get a lot of leeway if e think we might have a shot at flipping them for a bit. This topic reminds me a bit of the argument about whether or not women customers are really welcome in strip clubs (women stripping). After dealing with group after group of drunken bachelorettes or girls who want to seem “cool” to their guy friends, a lot of strippers really dislike having too many women patrons in the club. Of course, there are are exceptions, but overall they make us feel like animals in the zoo, and are either rude or just clueless. It’s a nice fantasy to go back to the good 'ole days when everyone stayed in their respective hangouts without crossing over too much. And strip clubs were certainly more fun when they were still considered part of some kind of seedy underworld. I can’t speak to what gay bars used to be like, but yeah, sometimes I’d like to go back to a time before the doors opened for everyone and some of the secretive mystery remained. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2011, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gays-are-you-annoyed-by-straights-in-gay-bars/581700/113 "2011-05-23T19:04:22Z")
> [@Illuminatiprimus](#): > > Oh dear, doesn’t sound good. Details? It’s a number of things, some going well beyond the scope of this thread. I asked a friend Saturday night, “when did this turn into a bar for women and children?”. So yes, they’re all 21 and up but there’s plenty of places on Santa Monica blvd for them. Part of it is that the place is well known for very strong, cheap drinks so most of the “outsiders” are gone by midnight because they drink there and then go to the trendy places but by then I’m too annoyed to enjoy myself. I’ll stop whining now. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gays-are-you-annoyed-by-straights-in-gay-bars/581700.md?page=5)