# Gays: Do You Find "Gay" as a Synonym for "Lame" Offensive? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 16, 2011, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gays-do-you-find-gay-as-a-synonym-for-lame-offensive/578617 "2011-04-16T16:22:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2011, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gays-do-you-find-gay-as-a-synonym-for-lame-offensive/578617/1 "2011-04-16T16:22:25Z")
Back in The Day, whenever I or my friends would find something not to our liking, it was perfectly reasonable to say it was “gay.” As in, “Ghostbusters 2 was gay, don’t see it.” Or, “I got a parking ticket for parking in the teacher parking lot. That’s gay.” Of course, this was the 80’s and the whole gay-tolerance thing wasn’t really that much of a thing (at least, among my peer group of teens in central Illinois), and attitudes have changed. Of course, the usage still goes on. Ferinstance, on a recent episode of _Family Guy_ a character expressed disdain for a situation by saying “Well that’s gay.” So what’s the deal nowadays? Do gays generally regard this as a bad thing, or is it understood as a relic of older slang? FWIW, a gay friend in my fantasy football league will himself say things like “I lost last weekend because of Cutler’s interceptions. That’s gay.” _Poll to follow._ ---
**Author:** ![miss\_elizabeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@miss\_elizabeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miss_elizabeth)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2011, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gays-do-you-find-gay-as-a-synonym-for-lame-offensive/578617/2 "2011-04-16T17:21:30Z")
I didn’t vote because I’m not gay, but I think its indisputably a slur. I don’t use it for that reason. There are other words I can use that serve the same (or, better, actually) purpose. Once you try, you’ll find it isn’t that hard to drop. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2011, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gays-do-you-find-gay-as-a-synonym-for-lame-offensive/578617/3 "2011-04-16T17:25:46Z")
I’m gay but I couldn’t vote because there wasn’t a “all of the above, depending” option. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![antonio107](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7ea924/32.png) [@antonio107](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/antonio107)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2011, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gays-do-you-find-gay-as-a-synonym-for-lame-offensive/578617/4 "2011-04-16T17:40:59Z")
I’m a terribly uncouth person. I will say something is “gay,” provided the person I’m slurring isn’t actually a homosexual. I’ve had gay friends call me out for it before, however, and so I’m more careful not to use it as reflexively as I once did. My gay friends, however, reserve the right to call something gay. One of my colleagues from school who is gay was sick and tired about me whining about an assignment, and told me to “buck up, faggot.” But I think we had just seen a stand-up routine where this was used ironically (Louis CK?), so there’s a context. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2011, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gays-do-you-find-gay-as-a-synonym-for-lame-offensive/578617/5 "2011-04-16T17:50:14Z")
Intellectually, I know I should be offended, but I can’t really work up an emotional response to it. ---
**Author:** ![whereismymind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/49beb7/32.png) [@whereismymind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whereismymind)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2011, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gays-do-you-find-gay-as-a-synonym-for-lame-offensive/578617/6 "2011-04-16T19:04:44Z")
ok.so it is like donald trump saying 'blacks"…back in the day that would not be offensive but NO it is…so what “term” do we use if not 'gay" to be correct and nonoffensive?? ---
**Author:** ![Teacake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Teacake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Teacake)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2011, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gays-do-you-find-gay-as-a-synonym-for-lame-offensive/578617/7 "2011-04-16T19:46:45Z")
I also know disabled people who object to “lame” being used pejoratively… I always challenge my students when they call something gay to mean that it’s bad, and I don’t use it myself. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2011, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gays-do-you-find-gay-as-a-synonym-for-lame-offensive/578617/8 "2011-04-16T19:51:40Z")
I do not believe in forbidden words or words that are restricted to one group. To that end, as a gay man, I don’t use gay to mean bad, nor do I call myself a faggot or queer, because I don’t want to hear others call me that. The words we use shape our opinions and values and I respect their power. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2011, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gays-do-you-find-gay-as-a-synonym-for-lame-offensive/578617/9 "2011-04-16T20:04:05Z")
> [@whereismymind](#): > > ok.so it is like donald trump saying 'blacks"…back in the day that would not be offensive but NO it is…so what “term” do we use if not 'gay" to be correct and nonoffensive?? The OP isn’t about using the word “gay”-it’s about using the word “gay” as a synonym for "lame. The solution is obvious, of course. If you want to say something or someone is “lame”, just use the word “lame.” ---
**Author:** ![Simplicio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@Simplicio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simplicio)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2011, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gays-do-you-find-gay-as-a-synonym-for-lame-offensive/578617/10 "2011-04-16T20:12:08Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > If you want to say something or someone is “lame”, just use the word “lame.” Except “lame” is also a class of people. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2011, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gays-do-you-find-gay-as-a-synonym-for-lame-offensive/578617/11 "2011-04-16T20:20:12Z")
> [@Simplicio](#): > > Except “lame” is also a class of people. And horses. And dogs. And such. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2011, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gays-do-you-find-gay-as-a-synonym-for-lame-offensive/578617/12 "2011-04-16T20:30:19Z")
> [@Simplicio](#): > > Except “lame” is also a class of people. But don’t the handicapped hate being called “lame”? Why don’t we buy the word from them and give it a new official definition? ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2011, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gays-do-you-find-gay-as-a-synonym-for-lame-offensive/578617/13 "2011-04-16T21:06:31Z")
I’m a straight male and I find it offensive. ---
**Author:** ![Bambi\_Hassenpfeffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Bambi\_Hassenpfeffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bambi_Hassenpfeffer)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2011, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gays-do-you-find-gay-as-a-synonym-for-lame-offensive/578617/14 "2011-04-16T22:41:32Z")
Offensive. It stings when I hear it, and I automatically think less of the person who’s said it. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2011, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gays-do-you-find-gay-as-a-synonym-for-lame-offensive/578617/15 "2011-04-16T23:57:57Z")
Straight female, and I find it offensive. I used to use it when I was in high school, but this was back in the early to mid 1990s. C’mon, people, grow up and find another word. ---
**Author:** ![Lisa\_Ann](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bc79bd/32.png) [@Lisa\_Ann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lisa_Ann)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2011, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gays-do-you-find-gay-as-a-synonym-for-lame-offensive/578617/16 "2011-04-17T00:25:25Z")
Do bisexuals get to vote? 🙂 My fiance uses the term but I do not. I know he doesn’t mean to cause offense, however, my favorite niece is a lesbian and I choose to not to use it no matter the context. ---
**Author:** ![boytyperanma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4491bb/32.png) [@boytyperanma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boytyperanma)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2011, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gays-do-you-find-gay-as-a-synonym-for-lame-offensive/578617/17 "2011-04-17T01:18:29Z")
I guess I fall into It’s offensive and distasteful; don’t do it. I don’t get upset over it but will usually correct people when they use it. ‘That’s so gay’ You really think so? I’m not sure how that lame event and me are connected. ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2011, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gays-do-you-find-gay-as-a-synonym-for-lame-offensive/578617/18 "2011-04-17T01:43:51Z")
I’m gay and it doesn’t really bother me, so I voted “meh” But then again, I’m not easily offended. My parents used to call cigarettes fags, so when someone uses that word, I instantly think of cigarettes, not a slur. I guess it’s just what you get used to. ---
**Author:** ![AlsoNamedBort](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alsonamedbort/32/3213_2.png) [@AlsoNamedBort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlsoNamedBort)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2011, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gays-do-you-find-gay-as-a-synonym-for-lame-offensive/578617/19 "2011-04-17T01:47:38Z")
Not gay, so I’m not offended, but whenever I hear somebody use that word, I think of them as a 14 year old. I won’t lie, I used it when I was a teenager, but pretty much everyone I know grew out of it by the time they graduated high school. And there wasn’t even that much of a backlash back then. ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2011, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gays-do-you-find-gay-as-a-synonym-for-lame-offensive/578617/20 "2011-04-17T01:50:33Z")
I don’t like it, and find it offensive. Straight male. I also don’t like that’s something’s “retarded”. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gays-do-you-find-gay-as-a-synonym-for-lame-offensive/578617.md?page=2)