# Gee, Mom and Dad. Thanks for fucking me over, 63 years in advance. A Legal Name Rant **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 16, 2025, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-mom-and-dad-thanks-for-fucking-me-over-63-years-in-advance-a-legal-name-rant/1018462 "2025-05-16T23:18:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2025, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-mom-and-dad-thanks-for-fucking-me-over-63-years-in-advance-a-legal-name-rant/1018462/21 "2025-05-17T18:52:44Z")
It meant nothing to me at the time, but I am thankful now that my parents legally changed my last name when I was 17. I never went by my birth surname - my father having left us before I ever knew him - but rather by my stepfather’s surname for all those years. Why she elected to do that is lost to history, but I think she was really pissed off when he left. Anyway, the official name change has saved me a lot of hassle over the years. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2025, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-mom-and-dad-thanks-for-fucking-me-over-63-years-in-advance-a-legal-name-rant/1018462/22 "2025-05-17T19:00:28Z")
Everyone should try to remember that whether or not you have problems getting a Real ID may not apply to the OP, who may live in a different state that may have different qualifications. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2025, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-mom-and-dad-thanks-for-fucking-me-over-63-years-in-advance-a-legal-name-rant/1018462/23 "2025-05-17T19:43:41Z")
> [@Cartooniverse](#): > > Therefore, my birth certificate reads: > **Cartooniverse Stephen Crane Doper** I’d be more concerned that my parents named me “Cartooniverse.” And, how ironic that your surname is “Doper”, and you are indeed a Doper. 😜 ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2025, 10:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-mom-and-dad-thanks-for-fucking-me-over-63-years-in-advance-a-legal-name-rant/1018462/24 "2025-05-18T10:13:48Z")
> [@Cartooniverse](#): > > Thoughts? I’ve mentioned before that I had issues with getting a RealID due to governmental confusion over my name. My solution was to contact a lawyer about a legal change of name. Yes, it cost me some time and money but it is now official that my _legal_ name is the name I have actually been using these past 40 years and not some typo a bureaucrat or two banged into a database. Generally, the first consult with a lawyer about an issue is either free or minimal cost. You could learn what options you have and what each would cost you, then you choose which one you prefer to use. After which you will have much less frustration. > [@Cartooniverse](#): > > I now have to get into bed with Social Security, and ask HOW to alter the name assigned to my SS #. And gosh, that’s really gonna fuck up things like my Social Security payments when I apply for them in a few years because, of course, Cartooniverse Stephen Crane Doper never paid a penny towards Social Security. Cartooniverse Steven Doper did for +/- 50 years so far. No, it’s not. I recently applied for SS Survivor’s Benefits and SSA had no problem with the name issue. They care about the _number_ the benefits were paid to, not the exact name. Remember that about half the population (married women who change their name, plus men with name changes ) use more than one name during their lifetime. This is a pretty routine thing for SSA. > [@doreen](#): > > I’m confused - if your driver’s license , Social Security card and passport all have the same name, why are you having trouble getting a REAL ID ? I seem to recall you living in NY , in which case your passport is sufficient proof of your lawful status and you don’t need your birth certificate. Because to get a RealID a birth certificate is a requirement. A passport is proof of identity and citizenship, yes, but at least in my state _you still need a birth certificate_ and the name on that has to match the name on everything else OR you need documentation of a name change, like a marriage license or adoption papers or a legal name change. Hey, I don’t write the rules. And I don’t know the details for New York. But if the OP says he was told he needs his birth certificate I’m not going to doubt him because my own state requires it. > [@doreen](#): > > You don’t actually need a REAL ID if you don’t mind using your passport whenever you fly. Maybe not right now, but I expect these identity rules are only going to get worse as time goes on. Which is why I elected to go to court and settle the matter, because I don’t want to have to explain and explain and explain as time goes on. Also, having TWO forms of ID that allow travel isn’t a bad idea because it’s possible for one to be lost or otherwise unusable. So yes, you’re correct, you don’t _need_ RealID. That doesn’t mean having one is a bad idea. > [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](#): > > I’m going to be 69 in a couple of months and I have never had a passport. I have been married more than once though and after I was widowed, I just started using my maiden name again. Then I got married again. I lost my birth certificate. > > I don’t even want to think about the hoops I am going to have to jump through to get a real ID. With any luck I’ll die before it becomes a problem. To get a Real ID you would probably need to: 1. get a new official birth certificate 2. copies of all your marriage certificates At which point the RealID people will say that your final married name is in fact your name and that will be what is on your RealID. > [@puzzlegal](#): > > you have a passport, so you don’t need to use your birth certificate to get real ID, or really, for anything. In my state? Yes, you need your birth certificate _even with your passport._ And even then, they’d better match. > [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](#): > > You have a passport and ID with the same name on it, why do you think you can’t get REAL ID? You don’t need a birth certificate in NY. Because other people have had a problem with getting RealID when their current documents don’t match their birth certificate? Because he has already had a problem with getting RealID? > [@Czarcasm](#): > > Everyone should try to remember that whether or not you have problems getting a Real ID may not apply to the OP, who may live in a different state that may have different qualifications. ^ This. ---
**Author:** ![ASanders](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asanders/32/3367_2.png) [@ASanders](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASanders)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2025, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-mom-and-dad-thanks-for-fucking-me-over-63-years-in-advance-a-legal-name-rant/1018462/25 "2025-05-18T11:50:30Z")
Both of my daughters have two middle names, as do I. When I got married and took a new last name I had five names. The SS office told me I could have only two middle names on my SS card so I had to abandon one of them, sadly. (But I use that abandoned one in my business name, so it’s not gone forever.) I don’t know about every state but NJ’s Real ID allows for two middle names, as does Colorado’s. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2025, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-mom-and-dad-thanks-for-fucking-me-over-63-years-in-advance-a-legal-name-rant/1018462/26 "2025-05-18T12:02:14Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > > [@puzzlegal](#): > > > > you have a passport, so you don’t need to use your birth certificate to get real ID, or really, for anything. > > In my state? Yes, you need your birth certificate _even with your passport._ And even then, they’d better match. Wow, the rules vary a lot. And here i was cranky that i needed to get a new SS card to get real ID. ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2025, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-mom-and-dad-thanks-for-fucking-me-over-63-years-in-advance-a-legal-name-rant/1018462/27 "2025-05-18T14:27:58Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Because to get a RealID a birth certificate is a requirement. Again, that’s _completely_ false in New York, which IIRC is where **Cartooniverse** lives. Your state has no relevance for this. ETA, yes he has posted he lives in Astoria, Queens. So no he does not need a birth certificate to get a REAL ID. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2025, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-mom-and-dad-thanks-for-fucking-me-over-63-years-in-advance-a-legal-name-rant/1018462/28 "2025-05-18T14:43:39Z")
Park Ridge. My parents told me for decades I was born in Chicago. I was born in Park Ridge, Illinois. So says my BC. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2025, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-mom-and-dad-thanks-for-fucking-me-over-63-years-in-advance-a-legal-name-rant/1018462/29 "2025-05-18T16:10:09Z")
I can’t get a real ID, because I live abroad. There are millions of Americans in that situation: a passport will have to work. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2025, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-mom-and-dad-thanks-for-fucking-me-over-63-years-in-advance-a-legal-name-rant/1018462/30 "2025-05-18T18:29:26Z")
I can totally see people treating a suburb as part of the corresponding city. ---
**Author:** ![doreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@doreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doreen)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2025, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-mom-and-dad-thanks-for-fucking-me-over-63-years-in-advance-a-legal-name-rant/1018462/31 "2025-05-18T19:57:36Z")
Plus it’s not uncommon for people to say they/their children were born wherever the parents were living at the time - which is not always the same as where the hospital is located. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2025, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-mom-and-dad-thanks-for-fucking-me-over-63-years-in-advance-a-legal-name-rant/1018462/32 "2025-05-18T20:21:22Z")
It is completely common for people in the Chicago suburbs to say they are from Chicago (and common elsewhere from my experience.). This sometimes raises the hackles of pedantic or parochial Chicagoans. But if you’re not from the area “Park Ridge” means nothing to you and it’s close enough to say “Chicago.” It literally abuts it. Same with the pope. He’s not from Chicago proper, but that’s how the media reports if. He’s from Dolton. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2025, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-mom-and-dad-thanks-for-fucking-me-over-63-years-in-advance-a-legal-name-rant/1018462/33 "2025-05-19T01:04:32Z")
IME this is true of any large metro area in the USA. In casual speech, folks refer to the whole area by the name of the core municipality. By both population and by area that core municipality may be only 5 otr 10% of the whole conurbation. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2025, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-mom-and-dad-thanks-for-fucking-me-over-63-years-in-advance-a-legal-name-rant/1018462/34 "2025-05-19T14:06:35Z")
Except on job applications & background checks. I got booted from good opportunities over that. And yes, I did. 😢 ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2025, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-mom-and-dad-thanks-for-fucking-me-over-63-years-in-advance-a-legal-name-rant/1018462/35 "2025-05-19T14:15:34Z")
I have an odd situation as well. At birth I was christened Richard John William Smith (of course only the first name is real.) Catholic family, so lotta middle names. In Ontario, a baptismal certificate is, or was back in the 70s anyway, legally as good as a birth certificate, so that document was the basis of my identity. At some point though there was some sort of confusion and so in time when I actually got a birth certificate it just said Richard Smith. But at some point I got a driver’s license. I decided when I was 16 to just use one middle name, and I either used my baptismal certificate or a CORRECT birth certificate to get it. So my driver’s license (and, incidentally, all my credit cards and such) say I am Richard John Smith. My military ID said that too. But my birth certificate - and my passport - only say Richard Smith. This hasn’t been a problem… yet. ---
**Author:** ![doreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@doreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doreen)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2025, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-mom-and-dad-thanks-for-fucking-me-over-63-years-in-advance-a-legal-name-rant/1018462/36 "2025-05-19T14:16:40Z")
I’m not going to say it didn’t happen - but I am kind of wondering how you were applying for jobs with that sort of background check before you ever saw your birth certificate. ---
**Author:** ![doreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@doreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doreen)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2025, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-mom-and-dad-thanks-for-fucking-me-over-63-years-in-advance-a-legal-name-rant/1018462/37 "2025-05-19T14:24:52Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Hey, I don’t write the rules. And I don’t know the details for New York. But if the OP says he was told he needs his birth certificate I’m not going to doubt him because my own state requires it. I wouldn’t either. But the OP doesn’t actually say he was told by anyone official that he needs his birth certificate even if he has a passport. It might be a conclusion he came to on his own by reading about the problems people have when the birth certificate doesn’t match the name they actually use - many of whom do not have passports (since many Americans don’t) and who therefore have no proof of citizenship other than their birth certificate. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2025, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-mom-and-dad-thanks-for-fucking-me-over-63-years-in-advance-a-legal-name-rant/1018462/38 "2025-05-19T15:02:53Z")
1. i never looked at my birth certificate to apply for a job. 2. i didn’t think I’ve ever been asked where i live to apply for a job. Rules have tightened up considerably over the years, but i suspect that’s an illegal question today. They usually ask, “are you legally allowed to work in the US without us sponsoring you”, and “what other names have you used in the past”, plus info about the employers listed on your resume. ---
**Author:** ![doreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@doreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doreen)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2025, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-mom-and-dad-thanks-for-fucking-me-over-63-years-in-advance-a-legal-name-rant/1018462/39 "2025-05-19T15:05:09Z")
I didn’t mean people needed their birth certificate to get a job - you didn’t when I was young. But I did need it to get a driver’s license and a social security card among other things that I needed way before I was getting jobs that required background checks.while I suppose my parents could have gotten me the SS number without me seeing my birth certificate, that wouldn’t have worked for my license. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2025, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-mom-and-dad-thanks-for-fucking-me-over-63-years-in-advance-a-legal-name-rant/1018462/40 "2025-05-19T15:16:08Z")
My parents got me a social security number when i was a baby. I have zero memory of what documentation was needed to get a driver’s license. (Or a passport, for that matter, which i got before i got a driver’s license.) Because i got the passport before i had a real job, i have always used it as my ID. And… I think it says where i was born, actually. So never mind. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-mom-and-dad-thanks-for-fucking-me-over-63-years-in-advance-a-legal-name-rant/1018462.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-mom-and-dad-thanks-for-fucking-me-over-63-years-in-advance-a-legal-name-rant/1018462.md?page=3)