# Gee whiz, but it would be swell if Cecil welcomed all of the new charter members. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 23, 2004, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-whiz-but-it-would-be-swell-if-cecil-welcomed-all-of-the-new-charter-members/235871 "2004-03-23T06:57:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-whiz-but-it-would-be-swell-if-cecil-welcomed-all-of-the-new-charter-members/235871/101 "2004-03-26T05:58:08Z")
Mwaaaahahahahahaha! **Cecil** will _never_ greet you bastards now! ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-whiz-but-it-would-be-swell-if-cecil-welcomed-all-of-the-new-charter-members/235871/102 "2004-03-26T06:00:45Z")
šŸ™‚ Kidding, kidding. I just went off to register. ---
**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-whiz-but-it-would-be-swell-if-cecil-welcomed-all-of-the-new-charter-members/235871/103 "2004-03-26T16:10:57Z")
ā€¦wandering in to see if **Cecil** has reapppeared. A bit like trying to spot the first cuckoo of spring, I suppose - should we be writing letters to the _Times_ about it? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-whiz-but-it-would-be-swell-if-cecil-welcomed-all-of-the-new-charter-members/235871/104 "2004-03-26T17:36:07Z")
> [@Celyn](#): > > ā€¦wandering in to see if **Cecil** has reapppeared. Ainā€™t gonna happen without _droit du seigneur_ or more money to roll around in. šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![t-keela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a3d4f5/32.png) [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2004, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-whiz-but-it-would-be-swell-if-cecil-welcomed-all-of-the-new-charter-members/235871/105 "2004-03-27T03:24:14Z")
> [@Cecil Adams](#): > > Hello there, Charter Members! Iā€™m delighted that you contributed $4.95 toward my righteous work, and would like to personally greet each and every one of you, starting with ā€¦ > > Hold on a second. There are a couple shlubs on this thread who are still registered as ā€œGuests.ā€ > > Weā€™ll just wait. **"Weā€™ll just wait."** I wouldnā€™t hold my breath waiting for our savior to make his second coming to this thread. Hereā€™s a link about another promise he made. [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=3792415#post3792415](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=3792415#post3792415) > [@Cecil Adams](#): > > Cecil is mindful of the rising tide of ignorance and will smite the unrighteous soon. However, right now he is enjoying a little veg time in the hammock and watching the Cubs tank. This fills me with thoughts of futility and waste and puts me in the mood for dealing with the Teeming Millions. See you after Labor Day. Iā€™m afraid our beloved Master has been off quite a bit since that terrible day. (What was the name of that damned guy?) He has only recently rejoined US in the battle against the masses. Iā€™m not so sure that itā€™s even the same person as before. [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=4640499&highlight=Cecil#post4640499](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=4640499&highlight=Cecil#post4640499) I hope Iā€™m wrong and **U/C** just needs a little vacationā€¦Florida perhaps? šŸ˜‰ Hey UncaC, howā€™s it hanginā€¦ I hope he knows Iā€™m just yanking his chain, just a little bit anyway. ---
**Author:** ![t-keela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a3d4f5/32.png) [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2004, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-whiz-but-it-would-be-swell-if-cecil-welcomed-all-of-the-new-charter-members/235871/106 "2004-03-27T03:28:04Z")
and **U/C** if you do decide to get away for awhileā€¦ Youā€™re welcome at my place anytime. Iā€™ll fire up the grill and mix up some margaritas. Itā€™d be a regular Dopefest in the woods. I wouldnā€™t take any pictures either, I promise. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2004, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-whiz-but-it-would-be-swell-if-cecil-welcomed-all-of-the-new-charter-members/235871/107 "2004-03-27T04:09:38Z")
Ooo! Pick me! Pick me! Pleease? Iā€™m such a cute liā€™l kid! Please? Give CaptBushido some slack, Cece, itā€™s not his faultā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![merrily](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@merrily](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/merrily)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2004, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-whiz-but-it-would-be-swell-if-cecil-welcomed-all-of-the-new-charter-members/235871/108 "2004-03-27T18:40:09Z")
Sort of like buying a lottery ticket. ---
**Author:** ![Muad\_Dib](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/35a633/32.png) [@Muad\_Dib](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muad_Dib)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2004, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-whiz-but-it-would-be-swell-if-cecil-welcomed-all-of-the-new-charter-members/235871/109 "2004-03-28T07:04:19Z")
> [@](#): > > CaptBushido > Guest He has obviously angered our **Cecil**. I vote we throw **CaptBushido** into the nearest volcano as a form of appeasment. ---
**Author:** ![FreeRange\_Maniac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/97f17d/32.png) [@FreeRange\_Maniac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreeRange_Maniac)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2004, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-whiz-but-it-would-be-swell-if-cecil-welcomed-all-of-the-new-charter-members/235871/110 "2004-03-28T08:03:42Z")
Just wandered in to see if the Master had blessed us with his presence again. No? Ah, well, Iā€™ll just curl up in the corner hereā€¦someone wake me when he arrivesā€¦zzzzzā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![zoogirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b9bd4f/32.png) [@zoogirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoogirl)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2004, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-whiz-but-it-would-be-swell-if-cecil-welcomed-all-of-the-new-charter-members/235871/111 "2004-03-28T08:10:28Z")
He was here? _He was here and I missed Him?!_ **He was here and I totally missed him??!!** AAAAAWWWWW!!! (zoogirl bursts into tears and sits on the floor, weeping inconsolably) Dammit! ---
**Author:** ![Ms\_Macphisto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Ms\_Macphisto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms_Macphisto)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2004, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-whiz-but-it-would-be-swell-if-cecil-welcomed-all-of-the-new-charter-members/235871/112 "2004-03-28T08:24:42Z")
Cheer up **zoogirl**. Remember, according to a certain Doper who shall remain nameless, **Cecil** is just our imaginary friend. So all youā€™ve really missed is a manifestation of our collective imaginations. šŸ˜‰ Please donā€™t smite me, oh great and mighty Master. I believe youā€™re real, and Iā€™ve even paid my $4.95. ---
**Author:** ![kimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f0a364/32.png) [@kimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kimera)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2004, 9:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-whiz-but-it-would-be-swell-if-cecil-welcomed-all-of-the-new-charter-members/235871/113 "2004-03-28T09:11:12Z")
Cecil please marry me! Iā€™ll have your babies! ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2004, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-whiz-but-it-would-be-swell-if-cecil-welcomed-all-of-the-new-charter-members/235871/114 "2004-03-28T17:23:48Z")
Well, I have to post here because I would just die if UC came back and greeted everyone in the thread by name and I wasnā€™t here. Oh god, Heā€™s probably doing it while Iā€™m typingā€¦no time for previewā€¦submit now! ---
**Author:** ![cheddarsnax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@cheddarsnax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cheddarsnax)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2004, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-whiz-but-it-would-be-swell-if-cecil-welcomed-all-of-the-new-charter-members/235871/115 "2004-03-28T17:34:06Z")
Now that I have paid my $4.95, when can I expect my greeting? ---
**Author:** ![FisherQueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@FisherQueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FisherQueen)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2004, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-whiz-but-it-would-be-swell-if-cecil-welcomed-all-of-the-new-charter-members/235871/116 "2004-03-28T17:35:29Z")
Mr. Adams, sir, if you said my name just once, I think I could die happy. Is that abject enough? 'Cause I can go lower. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2004, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-whiz-but-it-would-be-swell-if-cecil-welcomed-all-of-the-new-charter-members/235871/117 "2004-03-28T18:02:38Z")
> [@lainaf](#): > > Well, I have to post here because I would just die if UC came back and greeted everyone in the thread by name and I wasnā€™t here Sadly, I doubt heā€™s coming back. ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2004, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-whiz-but-it-would-be-swell-if-cecil-welcomed-all-of-the-new-charter-members/235871/118 "2004-03-29T05:10:37Z")
Oh, ye of little faithā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2004, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-whiz-but-it-would-be-swell-if-cecil-welcomed-all-of-the-new-charter-members/235871/119 "2004-03-29T05:41:18Z")
> [@dwalin](#): > > Ooo! Pick me! Pick me! Pleease? Iā€™m such a cute liā€™l kid! Please? In what world?šŸ˜ƒ [sub]Anyone tries to throw me into a volcano, they find out what happened to the guy who tried to throw me into a bush 7.5 years ago[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2004, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-whiz-but-it-would-be-swell-if-cecil-welcomed-all-of-the-new-charter-members/235871/120 "2004-03-29T06:15:31Z")
Ooooo! New game! Letā€™s post vague, yet eerily compelling prophecies of the Second Coming! "1. And Lo! There was a great Cataclysm. A fall. A winnowing. That which was One was made sundered. Behold, and the power of Jerry descended upon them and made them into Guests who were thusly referred to as slothful and stingy bastards, and those which ponied up the five bucks were thusly exalted with a mantle from on High, and were placed but a little (OK, not really) below the Powers and Dominions and Moderators, being forever known as Charter Members. 1. And you can bet your bippie it was good. 2. Even as those exalted ones celebrated their holy exaltednessiciousicity, not at all pridefully, yet humbly and with very little untoward sniggering, Lo! The spirit of Cecil didst descendest uponst and amongst them(st.) 3. Thanks for the beans saith the Cecil, and Try not to stink up the joint and How ā€˜bout them freakinā€™ Cubbies?, and Lo! 4. Cecil wept. 5. After Cecil recovered from his holy fit of pique, didst He become angry. Behold, ye heathens, but you have borne in your Exaltimacated midst some slackers! Verily say I, the high Cecil-dude, unto ye, those what was once Exalted but now are abased, I shall NOT greet thee as was my purpose for coming here, until these pretenders cough up the dough and burn incense and sacrifice a goat and shit. 6. And a great hue and cry went up over the land and there was lamentation, and tearing of veils, and weeping, and gnashing of teeth, and sackcloth, and ashes. And the moon turned to blood, and the fatted lamb didst go tits-up. 7. And the beer turned to cat pee, which _really_ suckedeth. 8. And One rose up (or was it Several?), being the Voice(s) and the Prophet(s) and the King Cockblaster(s), and Lo! S/he (they) revealed that the the Second Coming of Uncle Cece would be heralded by great Signs and Portents and Really Cool Special Effects. 9. Hearken ye therefore, ye vile, abased ninnies, unto the Portents of your redemption, and be prepared for Ceceā€™s return, for verily shall it be bitchinā€™. 10. ā€œListen up, you putzes,ā€ said the Herald, and the signs thusly revealed were manifold:" ā€¦ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-whiz-but-it-would-be-swell-if-cecil-welcomed-all-of-the-new-charter-members/235871.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-whiz-but-it-would-be-swell-if-cecil-welcomed-all-of-the-new-charter-members/235871.md?page=7)