# Gee, why would anyone need to contact a HOSPITAL????

**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-why-would-anyone-need-to-contact-a-hospital/346796
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [March 2, 2006, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-why-would-anyone-need-to-contact-a-hospital/346796 "2006-03-02T19:12:27Z")
**Posts on this page:** 5
**Page:** 2

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### Author: ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)
#### Post date: [March 3, 2006, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-why-would-anyone-need-to-contact-a-hospital/346796/21 "2006-03-03T12:48:38Z")

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Look you wanna talk about aggravating? Try having a grand mal seizure that leaveth your tongue all thre-ed\* up on the sides tho you can hardly make yourthelf un-erthood. Then call the hospital to ask them why the fuck they told you that there was nothing wrong with you and you did not need a scrip for anti-convulsants, and finally get connected to an operator becauth the voith-recothnithion thoftware can’t u-erthad a friggin word. Then start on a merry round of “No, I do not want Cardiolothy! I said E **E** G, NOT EKG! I want Neurolothy! NEUROLOTHY!!! BRAIN! NOT HEART!”

(And finally get the Neurology department, where they blithely tell you, “Because your EEG was normal.” Yeah, right.)

\*Shredded. You don’t want to know.

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### Author: ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)
#### Post date: [March 4, 2006, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-why-would-anyone-need-to-contact-a-hospital/346796/22 "2006-03-04T01:51:48Z")

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[Simpsons]

You have selected: REGICIDE.

If you know the name of the King or Queen being murdered, press 1.

[/Simpsons]

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### Author: ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)
#### Post date: [March 4, 2006, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-why-would-anyone-need-to-contact-a-hospital/346796/23 "2006-03-04T04:05:46Z")

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> [@askeptic](#):
>
> Quit being a dick…

Birds gotta fly, fish gotta swim.

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### Author: ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)
#### Post date: [March 4, 2006, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-why-would-anyone-need-to-contact-a-hospital/346796/24 "2006-03-04T04:19:17Z")

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> [@Q.E.D.](#):
>
> Birds gotta fly, fish gotta swim.

OK, but betenoir should get a free shot at Showgirls.

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### Author: ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)
#### Post date: [March 4, 2006, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gee-why-would-anyone-need-to-contact-a-hospital/346796/25 "2006-03-04T04:28:28Z")

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I want a free shot at showgirls…

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