# Geekiest joke ever? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 25, 2007, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-joke-ever/427695 "2007-11-25T14:51:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![brewha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@brewha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brewha)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2007, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-joke-ever/427695/41 "2007-11-26T20:32:30Z")
Two mathematicians were sitting on a bench facing a building. Two people walked out of the building. A few minutes later, one person walked into the building. One mathematician turned to the other and said, “If one more person walks into the building it will be empty again.” ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2007, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-joke-ever/427695/42 "2007-11-26T20:33:57Z")
Probably something I’ve seen on Futurama, which has a number of geeky jokes I’ve only noticed because of Wikipedia. Or better yet, some joke I didn’t even notice because it flew way over my head. That’s what happens when guys with doctorates in advanced math write a comedy show. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2007, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-joke-ever/427695/43 "2007-11-26T20:37:52Z")
[QUOTE=cmkeller] I love xkcd as well, and in my opinion, the geekiest strip is [this one](http://www.xkcd.com/327/). [/QUOTE] Hypothetically, if I worked for a large insurance company, and someone ran a piece of SQL last Thursday night that went something like: UPDATE POLICY\_TAB SET POL\_EXPIRY\_DATE = ‘01.08.2008’; against the live tables, and I mentioned it here, I’d been in deep doo-doo, so I’d better not. (But being at home at the moment, even a keystroke logger is nothing for me to fear.) ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2007, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-joke-ever/427695/44 "2007-11-26T20:58:47Z")
Place I worked for 12 years ago, a new hire pretty much irretrievably destroyed our database by doing a (clipper) “rebuild index” command and then shutting down the computer when it took longer than she expected (probably everything was normal, but I guess she panicked). We had to restore from the latest backup, which was almost a month old. She was let go. ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2007, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-joke-ever/427695/45 "2007-11-26T21:29:15Z")
[QUOTE=Ferd Burfel] Two hydrogen atoms are talking: Atom 1: I just don’t feel right since I lost my electron. Atom 2: Lost your electron! Are you certain? Atom 1: I’m positive. [/QUOTE] You beat me to it. So, I will contribute: A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, “How much for a beer?” The barman replies, “For you, no charge.” ---
**Author:** ![Walton\_Firm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/45deac/32.png) [@Walton\_Firm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walton_Firm)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2007, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-joke-ever/427695/46 "2007-11-26T21:32:26Z")
[QUOTE=cmkeller] Place I worked for 12 years ago, a new hire pretty much irretrievably destroyed our database by doing a (clipper) “rebuild index” command and then shutting down the computer when it took longer than she expected (probably everything was normal, but I guess she panicked). We had to restore from the latest backup, which was almost a month old. She was let go. [/QUOTE] Along with whoever was responsible for the backup policy, I hope? ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2007, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-joke-ever/427695/47 "2007-11-26T21:47:49Z")
I don’t get the “Sudo make me a sandwich” strip. Geekiest joke I know is from college physics. The professor drew a caterpillar on the chalkboard. It was laying on its back with its feet in the air, and had two little Xs for eyes. She said you would call this an erg, because it’s a dine centimeter. ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2007, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-joke-ever/427695/48 "2007-11-26T22:06:53Z")
“Schrodinger, what have you done to the cat? He looks half dead!” ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2007, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-joke-ever/427695/49 "2007-11-26T22:11:41Z")
[QUOTE=Knowed Out] I don’t get the “Sudo make me a sandwich” strip. [/QUOTE] sudo is the UNIX command to give yourself “superuser” (godlike) powers… ---
**Author:** ![brewha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@brewha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brewha)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2007, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-joke-ever/427695/50 "2007-11-26T22:11:54Z")
[QUOTE=Knowed Out] I don’t get the “Sudo make me a sandwich” strip. [/QUOTE] Check out post #20. ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2007, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-joke-ever/427695/51 "2007-11-26T22:27:09Z")
[QUOTE=lalenin] Does the ‘\>’ only appear in Windows command line not original DOS? I don’t remember any more. [/QUOTE] The “\>” is what you get for having a “$G” in your PROMPT variable. Windows uses the ever-useful $P$G as its prompt - $P gives the drive and directory. You could concoct some fairly elaborate prompts - at the low end, “prompt $D $T $P$G” will give you the day, date, time and path. $D T \_$P$G puts that on two lines. You could even do ANSI/ASCII graphics. One classic was the Texas state flag: PROMPT \__$_$e[22;3H$e[1m$e[44m $e [47m$e[23;3H$e[44m \* $e[47;41m$e[24;3H$e[44m $e[41m $e[40m $p$g$e[0m$e[2C Unfortunately, Windows just chokes on this - it only works on real DOS that wasn’t being interpreted through a Windows kernel. ---
**Author:** ![Tool\_of\_the\_Conspiracy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@Tool\_of\_the\_Conspiracy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tool_of_the_Conspiracy)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2007, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-joke-ever/427695/52 "2007-11-26T22:53:30Z")
[QUOTE=Ferd Burfel] Two hydrogen atoms are talking: Atom 1: I just don’t feel right since I lost my electron. Atom 2: Lost your electron! Are you certain? Atom 1: I’m positive. [/QUOTE] I like to tell it with a chlorine atom and a sodium atom. Someone at work told it with two hydrogen atoms, but I told him that a talking proton would just be silly. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2007, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-joke-ever/427695/53 "2007-11-26T23:17:45Z")
[QUOTE=Walton Firm] How many people can read hex, if only you and dead people can read hex? 57006 [/QUOTE] I don’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![Taber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ac91a4/32.png) [@Taber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taber)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2007, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-joke-ever/427695/54 "2007-11-26T23:46:47Z")
hex is base 16 - the digits are 0-9,A,B,C,D,E,F, where A = 10, B =11, and so on. DEAD is a legitimate hexidecimal number, which is equal to 57005. DEAD people and you is then 57006 ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2007, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-joke-ever/427695/55 "2007-11-27T00:02:04Z")
Walton Firm: > [@](#): > > Along with whoever was responsible for the backup policy, I hope? Company owner’s son. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2007, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-joke-ever/427695/56 "2007-11-27T00:03:07Z")
[QUOTE=Taber] hex is base 16 - the digits are 0-9,A,B,C,D,E,F, where A = 10, B =11, and so on. DEAD is a legitimate hexidecimal number, which is equal to 57005. DEAD people and you is then 57006 [/QUOTE] Oh. My problem was that I was reading it upside down as GOOLS. (Which may or may not be accurate.) ---
**Author:** ![Crescend](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Crescend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crescend)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2007, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-joke-ever/427695/57 "2007-11-27T01:39:47Z")
What’s sour, yellow, and equivalent to the axiom of choice? Zorn’s lemon. What’s purple and commutes? An abelian grape. Mathematicians: Making computer scientists feel better about their jokes since 1842. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Karen\_Lingel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karen_lingel/32/18649_2.png) [@Karen\_Lingel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Karen_Lingel)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2007, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-joke-ever/427695/58 "2007-11-27T02:09:09Z")
Conserve energy: Commute with a Hamiltonian. ---
**Author:** ![JpnDude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/838e76/32.png) [@JpnDude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JpnDude)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2007, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-joke-ever/427695/59 "2007-11-27T02:37:15Z")
While checking out girls back in my geeky high school days, I would comment on a passing beauty with, “She makes me want to maximize the function of my natural log.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Glazer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a88e57/32.png) [@Glazer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glazer)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2007, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-joke-ever/427695/60 "2007-11-27T03:19:22Z")
Three Statisticians went duck hunting. The first took his shot. A meter high. The sceond got up and took a shot. A meter low. The third jumps up and yells “We got him!”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-joke-ever/427695.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-joke-ever/427695.md?page=4)