# Geekiest joke ever? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 25, 2007, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-joke-ever/427695 "2007-11-25T14:51:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2007, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-joke-ever/427695/101 "2007-11-30T05:15:44Z")
Ooh, give me a moment! _opens box labeled Old-Timey Geezer Stuff_, pulls out Antiquated Crap and Useless Junk dictionary\* Is it a slide rule? ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2007, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-joke-ever/427695/102 "2007-11-30T05:48:58Z")
If not, are you referring to adding machines? ---
**Author:** ![auRa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c4cdca/32.png) [@auRa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auRa)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2007, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-joke-ever/427695/103 "2007-11-30T08:13:01Z")
Log table! Log table? ---
**Author:** ![633squadron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/ee59a6/32.png) [@633squadron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/633squadron)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2007, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-joke-ever/427695/104 "2007-11-30T16:15:27Z")
[QUOTE=auRa] Log table! Log table? [/QUOTE] That’s _obvious_. What’s not so obvious is the answer, which is, of course: slide rule. ---
**Author:** ![633squadron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/ee59a6/32.png) [@633squadron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/633squadron)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2007, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-joke-ever/427695/105 "2007-11-30T16:16:34Z")
[QUOTE=Hostile Dialect] If not, are you referring to adding machines? [/QUOTE] No, actually adding machines (the mechanical kind) just use gears and levers, alas. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2007, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-joke-ever/427695/106 "2007-11-30T16:25:42Z")
[QUOTE=633squadron] That’s _obvious_. What’s not so obvious is the answer, which is, of course: slide rule. [/QUOTE] But why spoiler it when **Inner Stickler** already got it? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![essell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/34f0e0/32.png) [@essell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/essell)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2007, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-joke-ever/427695/107 "2007-11-30T16:58:12Z")
Most geeky joke I ever heard, I’ve told to dozens of people and only one person got it. “I think it’s far too easy to write bad code in Perl. I responded by increasing my disciple as a programmer and writing good, clear code. Other people responded by writing code that reads like modem init strings” ---
**Author:** ![Pithy\_Moniker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8dc957/32.png) [@Pithy\_Moniker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pithy_Moniker)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2007, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-joke-ever/427695/108 "2007-11-30T17:09:23Z")
My calculus teacher told us that we should never ‘drink and derive’. Not bad for a high school teacher. ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2007, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-joke-ever/427695/109 "2007-11-30T17:21:59Z")
[QUOTE=essell] Most geeky joke I ever heard, I’ve told to dozens of people and only one person got it. “I think it’s far too easy to write bad code in Perl. I responded by increasing my disciple as a programmer and writing good, clear code. Other people responded by writing code that reads like modem init strings” [/QUOTE] Not only do I get it, I’ve used that before to describe a miserable looking SQL query that someone concocted. ---
**Author:** ![Quint](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/76d3ee/32.png) [@Quint](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quint)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2007, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-joke-ever/427695/110 "2007-11-30T20:31:03Z")
Three engineers are going on a road trip when suddenly their car dies and will not restart. The chemical engineer says: “Since we know the tank’s not empty, we should take a sample of our fuel for analysis to determine if we need to replace the fuel filter.” The mechanical engineer says: "I think we should open the hood to make sure there hasn’t been any failure in the materials that make up the engine. The software engineer says: “Before we get carried away let’s all get out of the car, get back in, and try starting it again.” ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2007, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-joke-ever/427695/111 "2007-11-30T20:44:35Z")
[QUOTE=Malacandra] But why spoiler it when **Inner Stickler** already got it? 😛 [/QUOTE] Because he’s waging a war of attrition against my self-esteem, obviously. 😛 But seriously, in retrospect, my post wasn’t written very clearly. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2007, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-joke-ever/427695/112 "2007-11-30T23:14:04Z")
[QUOTE=633squadron] One of my oldie-but-goodie favorites: Noah is letting all the animals off the ark. To each he says “Be fruitful and multiply!” The adders (it’s a type of snake!) go past, and Noah gives them the same admonition, to which they say: “Alas, adders can’t multiply…” Several weeks later, Noah is in his back yard getting firewood. He is searching through a big pile of timber when he sees the two adders surrounded by a host of baby adders. “I thought you told me that adders can’t multiply!” he exclaims. The adders reply (wait for it): “Well, with logs they can…” yuck. Logs = logarithms. All us geeks over a certain age were taught how to multiply two very large numbers together by adding their logarithms. If you have no idea what a logarithm _is_, don’t worry; you haven’t missed anything useful. Hint: The meaning of the joke is also important to a certain type of mechanical device that has, alas, disappeared from our modern world. Anybody know what I’m talking about? [/QUOTE] Goofy and geeky, all in one. I never learned how to use one. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2007, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-joke-ever/427695/113 "2007-12-01T06:54:35Z")
Q: What do you call people who always do what you want? A: DWIMmin! ] never metabracket it couldn’t close. (Not just Lisp jokes. Interlisp jokes.) My other CAR is a CDR. Asynchronous inputs are at the root of our race problems. Statistics, where deviation is standard and mean is average. FORTH IF HONK THEN [//GO.SYSIN](https://GO.SYSIN) DD \*, DOODAH, DOODAH ---
**Author:** ![cactus\_waltz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@cactus\_waltz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cactus_waltz)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2007, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-joke-ever/427695/114 "2007-12-01T17:10:06Z")
[QUOTE=matt\_mcl] According to Freud, what comes between fear and sex? Fünf. [/QUOTE] Now that made me smile. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-joke-ever/427695.md?page=5)