# Geekiest thing that doesn't exist **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 27, 2007, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-thing-that-doesnt-exist/431339 "2007-12-27T01:19:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-thing-that-doesnt-exist/431339/41 "2007-12-28T01:18:40Z")
[QUOTE=Raguleader] Supposedly, you can get so addicted to the Holodeck, that you may fail to realize that you AREN’T in real life anymore. [/QUOTE] Exactly. Which is true of a lot of our geek obsessions, isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-thing-that-doesnt-exist/431339/42 "2007-12-28T02:24:00Z")
Ooh, I’ve got one: I want a TV remote that will surf my TV screen and let me click on a web link like a cordless mouse (or a Wii), and will also let me click on a telephone number to dial it and TALK on the remote, like a phone. Yeah, I want a universal remote/telephone/WebTV pointer. Except I want something cooler than WebTV. A basic TVML for basic cable customers, or a full “hook up your TV to a computer and browse from your La-Z-Boy” service for those who wish to spend money guaranteeing that they will NEVER stand up again. ---
**Author:** ![pizzabrat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e9c0ed/32.png) [@pizzabrat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pizzabrat)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-thing-that-doesnt-exist/431339/43 "2007-12-28T02:26:57Z")
[QUOTE=Nametag] Ooh, I’ve got one: I want a TV remote that will surf my TV screen and let me click on a web link like a cordless mouse (or a Wii), and will also let me click on a telephone number to dial it and TALK on the remote, like a phone. Yeah, I want a universal remote/telephone/WebTV pointer. Except I want something cooler than WebTV. A basic TVML for basic cable customers, or a full “hook up your TV to a computer and browse from your La-Z-Boy” service for those who wish to spend money guaranteeing that they will NEVER stand up again. [/QUOTE] I think that technology is slowly being implemented. At least on my Dish Network setup, there are some ads aired that occasionally pop up with click-able content. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-thing-that-doesnt-exist/431339/44 "2007-12-28T03:09:50Z")
**pizzabrat** : A better fusion of Internet and TV would be on-demand TV that you could mark up with shared links to other stuff, such as websites and shows and movies and music, or just mark up with commentary. Of course, sharing a mark-up session with a bunch of random YouTube morons would be a living hell, so you’d only share it with a specific pre-planned (to a greater or lesser extent) list of people. For example, two film geeks watching a western could mark up all the scenes with references to some Japanese samurai movie, mark up the spots where you can see stunt doubles, and just trade quips about the dialog and the violence in real-time, or one could send the other a pre-marked-up version. The potential for classroom use is obvious. The next step is wholesale manipulation of the work. That flows naturally as an extension of the hypertext concept just discussed. An improvement on _that_ is being able to download “digital dolls” and digital sets so you can create your own works, such as an artificial Hugh Laurie blasting Velociraptors inside the factory from _Terminator 2_. Extending that to FPSs should be easy. Yeah, we’ll develop AI. It’ll be an FPS/MMORPG/movie/TV series and it’ll never bother to take over the real world as long as the mods and patches and scripts keep coming. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-thing-that-doesnt-exist/431339/45 "2007-12-28T03:15:12Z")
[QUOTE=Noelq] Give me my cell-phone in a watch format! 🆒 [/QUOTE] Ask and ye shall receive, my friend. I present to you the [M500](http://mymobilewatch.com/m500/index.html). I have no idea what that baby costs, but _damn_ if that thing isn’t Dick Tracy’s wet dream. It’s no gauntlet, either - just the size of a regular watch. ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-thing-that-doesnt-exist/431339/46 "2007-12-28T10:55:54Z")
In regards to the Soundwave MP3 player, here. > **[Soundwave MP3 Player Spark Blue Version | HLJ.com](https://www.hlj.com/soundwave-mp3-player-spark-blue-version-tkt77205)** > > The Transformers Music Label line features popular characters from the Transformers universe that are now transformable into practical audio devices! Soundwave, communications expert for the evil Decepticons, is now a stylish white MP3 player that... There’s also an Optimus Prime iPod stand and speakers. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-thing-that-doesnt-exist/431339/47 "2007-12-28T15:08:54Z")
[QUOTE=Bosstone] Consensus seems to be that geeks are interested in trivia and stuff with little real-world application, like Star Wars and D&D and that kind of thing. Nerds are interested in things with more application, such as natural or computer sciences. [/QUOTE] A contrary opinion: > [@Wikipedia: Geek](#): > > In a 2007 interview on The Colbert Report, Richard Clarke said the difference between nerds and geeks is “geeks get it done”. Ie: a geek is an applied nerd. A nerd people need. Ultimately, a [tool](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tool_%28insult%29). ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-thing-that-doesnt-exist/431339/48 "2007-12-28T15:20:31Z")
[QUOTE=Raguleader] Actually, right along with Mr. Adams’ concerns about the holodeck, “Holodiction” is a psychological concern in ST:TNG and the later series, where a person’s ability (or inclination) to interact with real people in the real world atrophies due to the addictive qualities of the Holodeck (see Lieutenant Barclay). Supposedly, you can get so addicted to the Holodeck, that you may fail to realize that you AREN’T in real life anymore. [/QUOTE] that’s crazy, no one would ever come down with that disease in real life now, would they? i’m done here, computer, end program… Computer, End Program! COMPUTER, END PROGRAM!!! ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Tyger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-thing-that-doesnt-exist/431339/49 "2007-12-28T17:25:12Z")
An accurate copy of the Sword of Omens in sword and dagger form, with the clawshield as a sheath for the dagger one. Someone is working on it, but they’re going to be like $400 each. Panthro’s nunchuks. Super articulated, show-accurate action figures of the Thundercats and all their enemies, that are in scale with the other toys. Ditto for the Silverhawks. The last episodes of Jem and the Holograms on DVD. (I am both a geek and a nerd and I know it) ---
**Author:** ![duality72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duality72/32/3910_2.png) [@duality72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duality72)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-thing-that-doesnt-exist/431339/50 "2007-12-28T17:50:58Z")
[QUOTE=iamthewalrus(:3=] You can make it with a [Wii remote](http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~johnny/projects/wii/). [/QUOTE] That shit is awesome. I might have to fiddle with it. ---
**Author:** ![A\_Priori\_Tea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3bc359/32.png) [@A\_Priori\_Tea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A_Priori_Tea)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-thing-that-doesnt-exist/431339/51 "2007-12-28T18:28:00Z")
Cyberization, GITS-style. Ditch as much of your organic body as you like, and replace it with new and improved mechanics. Ditch one arm, one part of your nervous system, or the whole thing - pick and choose what you want to upgrade, and how. Of course, the brain-always-connected-to-the-web thing gives me the creeps when I think about its real-life applications. (For reference: [Ghost in the Shell](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ghost_in_the_Shell) ) ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-thing-that-doesnt-exist/431339/52 "2007-12-28T18:38:47Z")
[QUOTE=Silver Tyger Girl] An accurate copy of the Sword of Omens in sword and dagger form, with the clawshield as a sheath for the dagger one. Someone is working on it, but they’re going to be like $400 each. Panthro’s nunchuks. Super articulated, show-accurate action figures of the Thundercats and all their enemies, that are in scale with the other toys. Ditto for the Silverhawks. The last episodes of Jem and the Holograms on DVD. (I am both a geek and a nerd and I know it) [/QUOTE] I’m impressed by the shear amount of wikipedia and google work I’m doing to keep up with all the esoterica on this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2007, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-thing-that-doesnt-exist/431339/53 "2007-12-29T04:49:10Z")
Well, for my own take on this, I’ll post my own personal wish list—of music. Some of it _does_ exist but is unatainable, some of it doesn’t. Some of it can’t. •The track from the score of _Star Trek III_, during the death of the Enterprise. Never released on a soundtrack, afaik. •A good soundtrack compilation from the Discovery Channel’s _Wings_ series, specifically the clumsy, bombastic tuba-like melody usually played over stock footage of ridiculously inept early flying machines bobbing about, and that dulcet synth theme often used for sleek modern fighters cruising quietly over the desert at sunset. •The “Vampire Killer” song from the Castlevania series…as performed by the London Symphony Orchestra (the Hampton String Quartet would work, too). •The album [_Last Laugh_ by Hangman’s Joke.](http://www.thecrow.pl/ciekawostki.php) ---
**Author:** ![DrCube](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a3d4f5/32.png) [@DrCube](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrCube)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2007, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-thing-that-doesnt-exist/431339/54 "2007-12-29T12:05:28Z")
A Magic Conch a la Spongebob Squarepants. Or maybe just a queen jellyfish call: “Loooo-ser! Loo-ser! Loser!” “Hey, I’ve heard this call before!” ---
**Author:** ![Abraca\_Deborah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e495f1/32.png) [@Abraca\_Deborah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abraca_Deborah)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2007, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-thing-that-doesnt-exist/431339/55 "2007-12-29T15:45:29Z")
While not a gadget, I was always impressed that Sabrina the witch could simply wiggle her nose and whatever she wanted to happen would happen. I tried to learn to wiggle my nose like hers, but no such luck. I would love to be able to wiggle my nose and get a task done: “wiggle, wiggle: dissertation done!” Another cool object to have might be the Orgasmatron as found in Woody Allen’s film “Sleeper”. It fits one or two people and provides intense pleasure. :eek: hmmmm… not sure what that says about me. I would rather have a ride in the orgasmatron than a new cell phone thingie. Why yes, I am a mature woman and only getting better with time! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2007, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-thing-that-doesnt-exist/431339/56 "2007-12-29T15:57:39Z")
[QUOTE=Abraca Deborah] Another cool object to have might be the Orgasmatron as found in Woody Allen’s film “Sleeper”. It fits one or two people and provides intense pleasure. :eek: hmmmm… not sure what that says about me. I would rather have a ride in the orgasmatron than a new cell phone thingie. Why yes, I am a mature woman and only getting better with time! 😉 [/QUOTE] if you like the orgasmatron, you might be interested in the Orgasmarator, the primary weapon used by Orgasmo, the Mormon missionary pornstar superhero, in the film of the same name from the South Park people. basically a ray gun that shoots orgasm-inducing rays. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2007, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-thing-that-doesnt-exist/431339/57 "2007-12-29T16:33:33Z")
Okay. Okay. Here it is. The Bottle City of Kandor, right? From the Superman comics. I know you can buy replicas already at comic stores, but this one would be intricately, near-microscopically detailed. AND! Here’s the cool part. Attached to the base, there’d be a viewing gadget on an articulated arm, that you could use to look inside the bottle. AND! When you look inside, you’re actually looking at a computer simulation of a city! You zoom in on a building or park space in the bottle, and you see tiny people moving about their daily routines! Kind of like “The Sims,” I guess. Only these people would all be decked out in Silver Age Kryptonian garb. And they’d be driving around in their flying cars and hovertrains and whatnot. AND! the bottle would have hidden sensors to indicate whether its surroundings are light or dark, and the simulation would adapt its activities as appropriate. When it’s dark, the model city would switch on tiny fiber-optic lights, and the viewer would depict people going home to bed or going out to Kandorian nightclubs or whatever. If you shine a light directly into the bottle, everyone shades their eyes and looks up as if to say, “What the heck is that light shining into our bottle?” If you bump the bottle, it trips a motion sensor so that everyone staggers around and falls over inside. Is this not the coolest idea EVER? I would build one myself if I had skills. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2007, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-thing-that-doesnt-exist/431339/58 "2007-12-29T16:44:00Z")
I want the light-saber tech based bagel slicer/toaster. I also want a private, reusable SSTO craft. Failing that, gimme my giant robot suit, dammit. Geek, nerd? Who cares? I am an [otaku](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Otaku#In_English.2FInternationally), your petty divisions mean nothing to those of us who know the truth. So, when do the beautiful women who love socially inept nebbishes start showing up? ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2007, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-thing-that-doesnt-exist/431339/59 "2007-12-29T16:51:21Z")
Oh hey, speaking of things in bottles, here’s another idea I once had that to my knowledge does not yet exist: Starships in bottles. Like the conventional ship-in-a-bottle, EXCEPT! These little starships would hover inside their bottles, possibly using concealed magnet technology like those floating pen gadgets at the Sharper Image. It might take some finesse but I believe it could be done. Of course they’d also have lit windows and running lights like in the movies. The bottles could even have science-fictiony labels on them, like “Romulan Ale” or “Klingon Blood Wine.” You could collect a whole display case full of starships from different eras. ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2007, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-thing-that-doesnt-exist/431339/60 "2007-12-29T16:57:01Z")
[QUOTE=Terrifel] Okay. Okay. Here it is. The Bottle City of Kandor, right? From the Superman comics. I know you can buy replicas already at comic stores, but this one would be intricately, near-microscopically detailed. AND! Here’s the cool part. Attached to the base, there’d be a viewing gadget on an articulated arm, that you could use to look inside the bottle. AND! When you look inside, you’re actually looking at a computer simulation of a city! You zoom in on a building or park space in the bottle, and you see tiny people moving about their daily routines! Kind of like “The Sims,” I guess. Only these people would all be decked out in Silver Age Kryptonian garb. And they’d be driving around in their flying cars and hovertrains and whatnot. AND! the bottle would have hidden sensors to indicate whether its surroundings are light or dark, and the simulation would adapt its activities as appropriate. When it’s dark, the model city would switch on tiny fiber-optic lights, and the viewer would depict people going home to bed or going out to Kandorian nightclubs or whatever. If you shine a light directly into the bottle, everyone shades their eyes and looks up as if to say, “What the heck is that light shining into our bottle?” If you bump the bottle, it trips a motion sensor so that everyone staggers around and falls over inside. [/QUOTE] I love you and I want to bear your children. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-thing-that-doesnt-exist/431339.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geekiest-thing-that-doesnt-exist/431339.md?page=4)