# Geeky Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 8, 2006, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geeky-jokes/347552 "2006-03-08T16:44:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Dervorin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Dervorin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dervorin)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2006, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geeky-jokes/347552/61 "2006-03-10T10:15:24Z")
> [@Robot Arm](#): > > What do you get when you cross an elephant with a mountain climber? Corollary: What do you get if you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber? Nothing, you can’t cross a vector with a scaler ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2006, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geeky-jokes/347552/62 "2006-03-10T11:18:59Z")
> [@JThunder](#): > > Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip? To get to the other… um… :smack: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lathe\_of\_Heaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Lathe\_of\_Heaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lathe_of_Heaven)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2006, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geeky-jokes/347552/63 "2006-03-10T16:42:45Z")
What’s yellow and equivalent to the axiom of choice? Zorn’s Lemon! ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2006, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geeky-jokes/347552/64 "2006-03-10T16:46:12Z")
> [@FlyingRamenMonster](#): > > Are you the square root of 2? Because I feel irrational when I’m around you. > 😃 I’d heard it as: You must be sweet as pi, because you make me irrational. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2006, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geeky-jokes/347552/65 "2006-03-10T19:32:30Z")
I remember this one from a physics class. The professor drew a picutre of a dead caterpillar on the board. He had Xs for eyes and a tongue hanging out to show that he was dead. She said it was an erg because it was a dine centimeter. (as in dyin’) ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2006, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geeky-jokes/347552/66 "2006-03-10T19:45:48Z")
Not a joke, but a cute geeky ditty: [NaCl (SODIUM CHLORIDE)](http://www.mcgarrigles.com/lyrics/lyr_the.html) scroll down about halfway ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2006, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geeky-jokes/347552/67 "2006-03-10T19:54:47Z")
From a “Cheers” episode, at the time in the series that Frasier & Lilith first became parents: Frasier: How many newborn babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Norm: I dunno. How many? Frasier: None! Newborn babies don’t have the depth-perception or the hand-eye coordination necessary to perform the task! Lilith: (chuckling) I must confess that one cracks me up. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_chao_goes_mu/32/3191_2.png) [@The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Chao_Goes_Mu)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2006, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geeky-jokes/347552/68 "2006-03-10T20:26:58Z")
A mathematician confided That a Möbius band is one-sided, And you’ll get quite a laugh, If you cut one in half, For it stays in one piece when divided \ ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2006, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geeky-jokes/347552/69 "2006-03-11T08:21:34Z")
Sorry to ask again- could somebody explain this one? > [@](#): > > Two electrons walk in to a bar. The first electron says “Bartender, I’ll have a martini.” and the second says “Dammit! I wanted a martini.” ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2006, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geeky-jokes/347552/70 "2006-03-11T09:00:47Z")
How many Centauris does it take to change a lightbulb? Well in the old days, we would have a thousand servants changing a thousand lightbulbs! ---
**Author:** ![Dervorin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Dervorin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dervorin)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2006, 9:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geeky-jokes/347552/71 "2006-03-11T09:19:00Z")
So why won’t Hamiltonian operators live in the suburbs? Because they can’t commute, of course 😛 Ah, I love this thread, athough I must admit the martini one went over my head too. ---
**Author:** ![Caiata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e56c9b/32.png) [@Caiata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caiata)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2006, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geeky-jokes/347552/72 "2006-03-11T12:24:23Z")
My guess is it’s a Pauli’s Exclusion Principle joke - you can’t have two electrons with the same quantum numbers, meaning that within one orbital the two electrons must have different spins. The parallel situation in the bar is that both electrons in the bar must have different drinks, or else they violate the PEP. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2006, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geeky-jokes/347552/73 "2006-03-11T15:52:41Z")
> [@Caiata](#): > > My guess is it’s a Pauli’s Exclusion Principle joke - you can’t have two electrons with the same quantum numbers, meaning that within one orbital the two electrons must have different spins. The parallel situation in the bar is that both electrons in the bar must have different drinks, or else they violate the PEP. :dubious: Yeah, that’s what I think. While kinda funny, it’s only funny if you assume that both electrons are in the same orbital. If they’re in different orbitals, especially if the orbital energies are degenerate, they can and will be spin-paired so that the total energy is actually lowered slightly. So another version of the joke could be “Two electrons walk into a bar. The first one says 'I’ll have a martini” to which the second replies ‘Dammit, I wanted a beer.’" So, obviously, in this case the electrons best choice is to split a pitcher. This isn’t so much a geeky joke as just a bad joke. I’ve got a class taught by the department head and right after that is another class in the same room. The head will sometimes say “We’ve gotta get out of here before [the incoming professor] kills me,” as the class has a tendency to try to run late. Anyway, he said it once and I said, “Nah, he won’t dare to kill you. It’s the whole Highlander effect.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geeky-jokes/347552.md?page=3)