# Geeky jokes. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 19, 2008, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geeky-jokes/473437 "2008-11-19T12:02:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geeky-jokes/473437/1 "2008-11-19T12:02:31Z")
[From here](http://derdritte.soup.io/post/6961628/An-infinite-number-of-mathematicians-walk-into): > [@](#): > > An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third, a quarter of a beer. The bartender says “You’re all idiots”, and pours two beers. So, who else has a geeky joke? ---
**Author:** ![Pushkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@Pushkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pushkin)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geeky-jokes/473437/2 "2008-11-19T12:10:43Z")
Geeky or nerdy? What’s black, white and red all over? The planet Cheron. ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geeky-jokes/473437/3 "2008-11-19T12:27:33Z")
There are 10 kinds of people; those who understand binary and those who don’t. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geeky-jokes/473437/4 "2008-11-19T12:44:44Z")
> [@lobotomyboy63](#): > > There are 10 kinds of people; those who understand binary and those who don’t. There’s 10 kinds of people: Those who understand binary, those who don’t, and those who didn’t see a ternary joke coming. > [@Pushkin](#): > > Geeky or nerdy? Both. I’ve never seen two people agree on the difference. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geeky-jokes/473437/5 "2008-11-19T13:06:32Z")
C:/dos C:/dos/run run/dos/run! ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geeky-jokes/473437/6 "2008-11-19T13:13:57Z")
Two spiral galaxies go into a pub. “Get out” says the landlord; “you’re barred”. _f(x)_ goes into a pub. The landlord says “Sorry, we don’t cater for functions”. _f’(x)_ goes into a pub. The landlord says “Sorry, we don’t cater for functions”. (This may look like the same joke, but it’s not; it’s derivative humour.) ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geeky-jokes/473437/7 "2008-11-19T13:59:19Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > Two spiral galaxies go into a pub. “Get out” says the landlord; “you’re barred”. > _f(x)_ goes into a pub. The landlord says “Sorry, we don’t cater for functions”. > > _f’(x)_ goes into a pub. The landlord says “Sorry, we don’t cater for functions”. (This may look like the same joke, but it’s not; it’s derivative humour.) This one took me a minute, until I realized my typeface and astigmatism obscured the apostrophe. > [@](#): > > _f **'** (x)_ goes into a pub… ". ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geeky-jokes/473437/8 "2008-11-19T14:04:12Z")
“Yo mama so fat, she’s only 98% empty space.” Got that right off the SDMB. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geeky-jokes/473437/9 "2008-11-19T14:30:47Z")
Three statisticians are out hunting. Suddenly, a rabbit leaps from the bush ahead of them and sprints away at top speed. The first statistician raises his shotgun. BLAM! He overshoots the rabbit. The second statistician raises his shotgun. BLAM! He undershoots the rabbit. The third statistician yells, “We got him!” ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geeky-jokes/473437/10 "2008-11-19T14:49:13Z")
Two mathematicians are standing around in front of a house. They see two people go in, and then shortly thereafter, three people come out. One turns to the other and says “If exactly one person goes in, the house will be empty.” > [@Max\_Torque](#): > > Three statisticians are out hunting. Suddenly, a rabbit leaps from the bush ahead of them and sprints away at top speed. > > The first statistician raises his shotgun. BLAM! He overshoots the rabbit. > > The second statistician raises his shotgun. BLAM! He undershoots the rabbit. > > The third statistician yells, “We got him!” It only works if you have them overshoot and undershoot by the same amount. ---
**Author:** ![Hi\_Neighbor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hi_neighbor/32/494_2.png) [@Hi\_Neighbor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hi_Neighbor)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geeky-jokes/473437/11 "2008-11-19T14:51:01Z")
What’s brown and sticky? A stick. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Gadai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@An\_Gadai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Gadai)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geeky-jokes/473437/12 "2008-11-19T14:51:58Z")
Says one DJ to another, "Wanna catch a movie tonight? “maybe,” the other DJ replies, “Who’s the projectionist?” ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geeky-jokes/473437/13 "2008-11-19T14:54:38Z")
Sign outside of a bed and breakfast: “Heisenberg might have slept here.” ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geeky-jokes/473437/14 "2008-11-19T15:20:09Z")
This one’s lame, but: Two molecules are walking down the street. One bumps into the other and knocks off an electron. “Are you okay?!” “Yes.” “Are you sure?” “I’m positive.” ---
**Author:** ![1010011010](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/ea666f/32.png) [@1010011010](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/1010011010)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geeky-jokes/473437/15 "2008-11-19T15:25:26Z")
An economist has an alarm installed in his house, but insists he have enough “This house protected by…” stickers and signs to put on every window and on each side of his house. He recouped half the cost of the alarm system by selling the warnings. * * * Q: How do you spot an extroverted geek? A: When you talk to him he stares at _your_ shoes. ---
**Author:** ![1010011010](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/ea666f/32.png) [@1010011010](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/1010011010)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geeky-jokes/473437/16 "2008-11-19T15:27:50Z")
There are 10 type of people in the world. 1. those who understand binary. 2. those who don’t. 3. those who think they do, but don’t. ---
**Author:** ![Pushkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@Pushkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pushkin)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geeky-jokes/473437/17 "2008-11-19T15:52:34Z")
> [@Max\_Torque](#): > > Three statisticians are out hunting. Suddenly, a rabbit leaps from the bush ahead of them and sprints away at top speed. > > The first statistician raises his shotgun. BLAM! He overshoots the rabbit. > > The second statistician raises his shotgun. BLAM! He undershoots the rabbit. > > The third statistician yells, “We got him!” I’ve heard that quoted as an example of German humour. ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geeky-jokes/473437/18 "2008-11-19T18:10:06Z")
Descarte is having a beer at his local tavern. “Want another?” asks the bartender. “I think not,” he replies, and proptly vanishes. ---
**Author:** ![Omphaloskeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bcef8e/32.png) [@Omphaloskeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omphaloskeptic)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geeky-jokes/473437/19 "2008-11-19T19:13:24Z")
> [@Santo\_Rugger](#): > > This one’s lame, but: > > Two molecules are walking down the street. One bumps into the other and knocks off an electron. > > “Are you okay?!” > > “Yes.” > > “Are you sure?” > > “I’m positive.” Radical joke, dude. ---
**Author:** ![WF\_Tomba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d9b06d/32.png) [@WF\_Tomba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WF_Tomba)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geeky-jokes/473437/20 "2008-11-19T19:19:09Z")
Which has more energy: a hamburger or a steak? The steak, because the hamburger is in a GROUND state! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geeky-jokes/473437.md?page=2)