# Geese are horrifying **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 7, 2016, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geese-are-horrifying/748200 "2016-03-07T13:48:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2016, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geese-are-horrifying/748200/1 "2016-03-07T13:48:12Z")
Look [![](https://i.imgur.com/jPQGJkb.png) ](https://i.imgur.com/jPQGJkb.png) This creature was not created by God…but by HR Giger! It has friggin’ teeth on it’s beak…and TONGUE! Need I post videos of goose attacks? ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2016, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geese-are-horrifying/748200/2 "2016-03-07T14:42:19Z")
I’m convinced the reason Canadians are known as so polite is because the geese took off with all of the rudeness. birds are jerks in general, but Canada geese are worse than teenagers. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2016, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geese-are-horrifying/748200/3 "2016-03-07T14:46:13Z")
Many years ago I visited my cousins in Illinois. We took a trip to FermiLab, where I visited a fellow grad student. My cousin took her daughters out into the field. They had a herd of bison there and a flock of geese. The girls came running back. It wasn’t the bison – they were fine. But the girls were practically _attacked_ by the FermiLab geese. When Elsa Lanchester performed as The Bride of Frankenstein she had no lines – but her character had that HISS! I thought she took it from a cat, but she said in an interveiw that it was inspired by those perilous geese in the London parks. ---
**Author:** ![JoseB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/joseb/32/1530_2.png) [@JoseB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoseB)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2016, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geese-are-horrifying/748200/4 "2016-03-07T14:46:42Z")
The only thing that comes to my mind when I see that picture is… “IÄ IÄ HONK FEATHERATH! THE GOOSE WITH A THOUSAND GOSLINGS!” ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2016, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geese-are-horrifying/748200/5 "2016-03-07T14:49:35Z")
[Birds are dinosaurs.](https://xkcd.com/1211/) But if we’re talking Giger, then my vote goes to the [Moray eel](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moray_eel), for its [pharyngeal jaws.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moray_eel#/media/File:Pharyngeal_jaws_of_moray_eels.svg) ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2016, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geese-are-horrifying/748200/6 "2016-03-07T15:06:42Z")
It may be time to re-open [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=720423) and quiz the current presidential candidates on their views about geese. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2016, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geese-are-horrifying/748200/7 "2016-03-07T15:14:01Z")
> [@Machine\_Elf](#): > > [But if we’re talking Giger, then my vote goes to the [url=https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moray\_eel]Moray eel](https://xkcd.com/1211/), for its [pharyngeal jaws.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moray_eel#/media/File:Pharyngeal_jaws_of_moray_eels.svg) [Johnny Carson]I did not know that[/JC] Sheessss the Alien in real life. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2016, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geese-are-horrifying/748200/8 "2016-03-07T16:12:34Z")
If you think geese are frightening, you ain’t never had a run-in with a swan. They are quite a bit bigger than geese and their necks reach forever. I was once at the tent grounds in Zurich, helping a friend erect a tent, when a pair of swans and a half dozen cygnets decided to come wandering through. I tried to shoo them off, but the adults got very aggressive and I had to fend them off with a tent pole that I just happened to be holding. Eventually, I was able to grab the cygnets and toss them into the Zurichsee. Out of sight, out of mind. Astonishingly, the parents then just wandered off. Later, I saw the whole family swimming sedately in the See. But while the kids were around, the parents were mean. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2016, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geese-are-horrifying/748200/9 "2016-03-07T16:15:24Z")
> [@Hari\_Seldon](#): > > If you think geese are frightening, you ain’t never had a run-in with a swan. They are quite a bit bigger than geese and their necks reach forever. I was once at the tent grounds in Zurich, helping a friend erect a tent, when a pair of swans and a half dozen cygnets decided to come wandering through. I tried to shoo them off, but the adults got very aggressive and I had to fend them off with a tent pole that I just happened to be holding. Eventually, I was able to grab the cygnets and toss them into the Zurichsee. Out of sight, out of mind. Astonishingly, the parents then just wandered off. Later, I saw the whole family swimming sedately in the See. But while the kids were around, the parents were mean. That’s like saying a Komodo dragon is worse than a cockroach. Swan populations in the US are miniscule compared to Canada geese. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2016, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geese-are-horrifying/748200/10 "2016-03-07T17:37:47Z")
Horrifyingly _tasty!_ ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2016, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geese-are-horrifying/748200/11 "2016-03-07T17:55:22Z")
I didn’t even need that photo to be terrified of them. They’re aggressive, mean-spirited assholes. Swans are dicks, too. ---
**Author:** ![maxjohnson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90db22/32.png) [@maxjohnson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maxjohnson)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2016, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geese-are-horrifying/748200/12 "2016-03-07T18:04:07Z")
Well I’m glad they’re mean if they’re going to survive. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2016, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geese-are-horrifying/748200/13 "2016-03-07T18:10:19Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > Horrifyingly _tasty!_ they are, in my opinion, the one animal which truly _deserves_ to be eaten. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2016, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geese-are-horrifying/748200/14 "2016-03-07T18:21:05Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > Horrifyingly _tasty!_ Though a bit greasy, I am led to believe. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Vorlon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@The\_Vorlon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Vorlon)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2016, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geese-are-horrifying/748200/15 "2016-03-07T18:23:47Z")
Many Yarin ago when I worked for NEC, the path from the parking lot was a weaving one, so as to avoid goose bombs–even more fun when the depositors were hissing at you. I started to carry a umbrella for defense. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2016, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geese-are-horrifying/748200/16 "2016-03-07T18:28:32Z")
My dad, brother, and I built a summer home/hunting camp back in the 80’s. When we did the landscaping, we used a spring on the property to make a pond. I thought a couple geese would look very picturesque in that pond, so I bought a mated pair from an Amish guy. When an Amish guy gives out with an evil laugh as you drive away, you can be pretty sure you have made a grave error of some kind. ---
**Author:** ![romansperson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/romansperson/32/17100_2.png) [@romansperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romansperson)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2016, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geese-are-horrifying/748200/17 "2016-03-07T18:29:33Z")
> [@maxjohnson](#): > > Well I’m glad they’re mean if they’re going to survive. Sometimes it works against them, though. I drive by a large pond every day on my way to work, on a two-lane country road that is 45-55 mph, depending on the section. Not surprisingly, geese like to build nests near the pond. One year there were a pair that must have built theirs too close to the road, because _they were trying to attack cars as they passed by_. Guess how well that worked out. ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_T-Cups](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Sir\_T-Cups](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_T-Cups)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2016, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geese-are-horrifying/748200/18 "2016-03-07T18:38:42Z")
Ms. Cups and I were visiting the Biltmore Estate for a mini-vacation and we decided to drink some wine by one of the lakes. As we are having our little picnic a about 4 or 5 geese swim right up to the shore, hop on the land, and walk right over to where we are eating…zero fucks given. They chased Ms. Cups and I right off of the shoreline and closer inland. Geese are just the worst animal ever. ---
**Author:** ![stillownedbysetters](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/41988e/32.png) [@stillownedbysetters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stillownedbysetters)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2016, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geese-are-horrifying/748200/19 "2016-03-07T18:52:38Z")
My great-grandparents’ farm had ‘watch geese’. They would alert when anyone drove or walked up the gravel drive from the highway and would let no one pass without permission. When asked why geese, my grandfather always said “dogs will make friends with people, geese won’t”. And he was right. Those geese hated everybody pretty uniformly, except for my grandfather because he’s the one who fed them. I got sent to feed them once and came back with a fairly sizeable wound pecked out of my backside. I steered clear of those geese afterward. ---
**Author:** ![fisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2016, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geese-are-horrifying/748200/20 "2016-03-08T01:41:04Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > I didn’t even need that photo to be terrified of them. They’re aggressive, mean-spirited assholes. > > Swans are dicks, too. I concur with my esteemed colleague. Assholes, every last one of them. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geese-are-horrifying/748200.md?page=2)