Lilting, lovely, delightful rant. Kicking Ass for Mom, who obviously taught you well, exceptional bonus points.
Loved the socks descripto much.
Great rant. Fantastic rant:
Minor nitpick though: we Gen Xers are closer to 40 now than 30. This G Xer doesn’t have a backpack, but if he did, it’d be full of beer, cigarettes, high sugar, high carb, high cholesterol junk, some McDonald’s takeaway for my kid, and maybe a snotty tissue or two. Never drunk organic pop-top boiled newspaper in my life.
Great rant though, once again. 
Thank goodness. Getting to my classroom on a campus with 2000 students, though it was built to accomodate 1000, is hell. It’s downright dangerous now that they carry around backpacks that average fifty pounds and double the space they take up because they don’t look where they’re going. Completely oblivious to anyone but themselves, so somehow they don’t see me. I’m 5’8" and with heels and hair I’m damned near 6 feet tall. How can they not see me? Gah! Some days it feels like a live action game of Frogger.
I say give your grandmother a cane that doubles as a sword, Rodd Hill.
[sup]Loaded Dog, no we are NOT close to forty! No! No! No! And you can’t make me.[/sup]
Well said.
I carry a laptop bag around with me now because for a while last year, I was constantly on foot around the city trying to find a job and I found it convenient to carry some things with me and then, this year, I had to walk to work for a couple months and found it a lot easier to carry my insurance (required for my job but too big to fit in my wallet), umbrella (required to live in the PNW but annoying to carry around on the rare dry day), book I was currently reading, and whatever else I found useful.
Now that I have use of a car, I still carry with me because it’s useful to have that all stored in one convenient place and am careful not to hit old women in the face with it, assuming that’s even possible. They’d have to be right on top of me for that to even happen and, if it did, they’d frankly deserve it for pressing in so close to me.
Not everyone that has a backpack carries around forty pound survival kits that they can’t manage.
Nice rant (and I think I’d like to meet your mother), but sometimes backpacks are used because they’re the practical choice.
In my backpack on a weekday:
White coat
Stethoscope
Notebooks, pens etc
Lunchbox
Possibly some medical textbooks
When I get to the hospital I put it in my locker.
On a weekend:
My groceries.
See, I don’t have a car, so I have to do a lot of walking and using of public transport. I also have a spinal condition which not only means that if I want to avoid incredible pain, I have to change position very 30 mins, it also means that I need to carry things in a bag which distributes weight evenly across my back.
Shoulder bags and carrier bags are no good to me, and no, I can’t take it off in a shop and carry it in my hand if it’s heavy.
I haven’t bopped anyone across the face (or on any other part of their anatomy) either.
Ditto! This is also one of my pet peeves, and I think I have seen it on these boards about five times this week alone. It would have been a much better rant without that little mistake, which is like nails on a blackboard to me.
The “hand-on-the-forehead” only works once, if that. They go for the elbow.
Sure. But there’s a difference between a small backpack with a few items and one of those heavy-duty camping/hiking/hide a dead body assualt packs filled with bricks. And there’s a difference between walking down the street with a small backpack and getting on a majorly overcrowded subway with a sandbag-filled behemoth killpack. Please, no matter what size backpack you wear, take it off when in crowded or close areas. If you have to lug it around by hand, then at least you stand a chance of being slighly more aware of what damage you might be causing.