# Gender Confusion: Advice for a difficult road ahead (long)

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-confusion-advice-for-a-difficult-road-ahead-long/286182>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [January 23, 2005, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-confusion-advice-for-a-difficult-road-ahead-long/286182 "2005-01-23T02:19:30Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 3\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![Arwin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/51bf81/32.png) [@Arwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arwin)\
**Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-confusion-advice-for-a-difficult-road-ahead-long/286182/41 "2005-01-28T04:38:23Z")

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> [@JillGat](#):
>
> It would be nice if it were just a matter of making a long story short. I think it would be useful for you to pay attention to the people’s stories here that make it clear that it’s a more complicated story than you know.
> 
> We all receive fierce cultural indoctrination regarding gender roles from practically every fiber of the world around us (even those whose parents encourage their daughters to play with tractors and their sons to wear dresses). And yet, even with all this pressure and the strong possibility of being abandoned by loved ones or cast out of communities, in every society on earth human beings seem to fall on a continuum where gender identification and/or sexual orientation are concerned. It may even be biological and most probably does not have _anything_ to do with indoctrination or parental brainwashing at all.

I agree, Jill.

Unfortunately, when I was pitted for my posts in this thread, the whole thread was sort of pitted with me. I’m posting a link to the pit here, and hope that the discussion can return to its proper thread.

[http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=298974&page=1&pp=50](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=298974&page=1&pp=50)

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**Author:** ![JillGat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@JillGat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JillGat)\
**Post date:** [February 22, 2005, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-confusion-advice-for-a-difficult-road-ahead-long/286182/42 "2005-02-22T02:19:30Z")

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**StrangeLove** , I just wanted to let you know I’ve met your friend - a really great person - and we’re making some headway with local resources, I think.

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**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\
**Post date:** [February 22, 2005, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-confusion-advice-for-a-difficult-road-ahead-long/286182/43 "2005-02-22T11:34:13Z")

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> [@Strangelove](#):
>
> It’s breaking my heart that a friend of mine is in pain and there is nothing I can do to make it better.

But you HAVE done something! You did something _very important_ - you accepted your friend for who he/she IS and not for what you want him/her to be. You listened without passing judgement. You offered a safe haven in an all too often cruel and hateful world.

I think you did _several_ really important things right there. Because a _lot_ of people wouldn’t have done any of the above.

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