# Gender Differences: Definition of "Cute" **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 2, 2005, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-differences-definition-of-cute/288016 "2005-02-02T18:26:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![sweetfreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@sweetfreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sweetfreak)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2005, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-differences-definition-of-cute/288016/21 "2005-02-03T23:49:24Z")
> [@SusanStoHelit](#): > > Ugh, **sweetfreak** , I hate being called cute or adorable. They are both diminuitive, IMO, and an indication that I am not being taken seriously. And I’m 5’8," blonde/blue, 115lbs, with a cheerleader smile, so I have to work hard to be taken seriously anyway. “Cute” is a signal that I have failed. It is almost always accompanied by a paternal smile and a the verbal equivilant of a pat on the head. Funny how we perceive it differently. I love being called cute, because I don’t hear it often enough. I have been called pretty, beautiful, exotic, and many other complimentary terms for a female, but rarely have I been called cute. However, my current boyfriend told me I was cute, and I just about cried when he first said it. He had no idea that I had always wanted to be thought of in that way. But I would certainly never call a female cute if she did not take it as a compliment. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2005, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-differences-definition-of-cute/288016/22 "2005-02-03T23:56:48Z")
> [@SusanStoHelit](#): > > Ugh, **sweetfreak** , I hate being called cute or adorable. They are both diminuitive, IMO, and an indication that I am not being taken seriously. And I’m 5’8," blonde/blue, 115lbs, with a cheerleader smile, so I have to work hard to be taken seriously anyway. “Cute” is a signal that I have failed. It is almost always accompanied by a paternal smile and a the verbal equivilant of a pat on the head. Where in Oregon are you? I’ll have to make sure to avoid you since, judging by your description, I’d most assuredly call you cute. I \*prefer \*cute though. It trumps pretty, hot, beautiful, and even gorgeous. ---
**Author:** ![SusanStoHelit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@SusanStoHelit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SusanStoHelit)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2005, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-differences-definition-of-cute/288016/23 "2005-02-04T00:05:53Z")
> [@Aesiron](#): > > Where in Oregon are you? I’ll have to make sure to avoid you since, judging by your description, I’d most assuredly call you cute. I \*prefer \*cute though. It trumps pretty, hot, beautiful, and even gorgeous. Ha! I’m a student at OSU (IIRC, you’re in Ashland, right?), so if you avoid Corvallis, you’ll probably be fine. I’m curious, though - why do you prefer cute to beautiful? I’ve acutally met a lot of men like that, and I find it’s easier to meet men in general if I’m not all dolled up with makeup and clothes and such. I’ve been told I’m less intimidating that way, but it makes no sense to me. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2005, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-differences-definition-of-cute/288016/24 "2005-02-04T00:17:00Z")
I’m in Dallas and have only been to Corvalis once so I should be safe in avoiding your wrath. So far as prefering cute goes, it’s really hard to explain. For one, I suppose it’s less intimidating since cute is more “normal” than beautifu, is more inviting,l and – don’t hurt me – I guess it also triggers some sort of protective instinct as well. I don’t condescend though. ---
**Author:** ![SusanStoHelit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@SusanStoHelit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SusanStoHelit)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2005, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-differences-definition-of-cute/288016/25 "2005-02-04T00:24:02Z")
> [@Aesiron](#): > > I’m in Dallas and have only been to Corvalis once so I should be safe in avoiding your wrath. > > So far as prefering cute goes, it’s really hard to explain. For one, I suppose it’s less intimidating since cute is more “normal” than beautifu, is more inviting,l and – don’t hurt me – **I guess it also triggers some sort of protective instinct as well.** I don’t condescend though. Oops! Sorry 'bout that. I must have you confused with a different 'Doper. It certainly does trigger a protective instinct, which doesn’t bother me at all and can even be sweet, if expressed appropriately. I get that all the time (and use it to full advantage, if I need an escort to my car in a dark parking lot or someone to walk me across campus. I look a lot like Brooke Wilburger _shudder_). ---
**Author:** ![sweetfreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@sweetfreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sweetfreak)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2005, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-differences-definition-of-cute/288016/26 "2005-02-04T00:57:58Z")
> [@Aesiron](#): > > So far as prefering cute goes, it’s really hard to explain. For one, I suppose it’s less intimidating since cute is more “normal” than beautifu, is more inviting,l and – don’t hurt me – I guess it also triggers some sort of protective instinct as well. I don’t condescend though. See…I don’t think there is anything wrong with having that protective instinct. I mean, yes, I can take care of myself. But sometimes it’s nice to know there is someone who wants to take care of you, be protective of you, someone who knows you are vulnerable and loves you because of that. Nothing condescending about it at all. Also, I understand where you are coming from about cute being less intimidating than beautiful. For me, when someone tells me I am cute, they are letting me know that they find me approachable, which is a good thing. I have been told I am intimidating too many times for my taste, but I think a lot of times people misread shyness as aloofness. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2005, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-differences-definition-of-cute/288016/27 "2005-02-04T01:17:21Z")
> [@11811](#): > > Only Gigi answered this the way I meant it, but that reflects more on me than on any of the respondents. I speak only for myself in this thread, and that’s hard enough to do; I have no idea exactly what women, or even other men, mean when they use the word ‘cute’. > [@SusanStoHelit](#): > > I’m curious, though - why do you prefer cute to beautiful? You didn’t ask me, but I’ll chime in. ‘Beautiful’ implies something static and uncomplicated to me; a very composed, quiet, polite, not-a-hair-out-of-place sort of ideal. But then the more you talk to someone like that, and the more genuine emotion they show, it takes away from the ideal. ‘Cute’ is the opposite. If I think a woman is cute, then the more I can get her to open up, to laugh and to smile, the cuter she becomes. Like I said, it’s hard to explain. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2005, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-differences-definition-of-cute/288016/28 "2005-02-04T01:21:02Z")
I’m not bothered by the protective instinct that a cute girl engenders and was hesitant to admit to it only because **Susan** said she doesn’t like being condescended to, which that could be taken as. Just self preservation on my part. I’m insanely curious to see pictures now. I hate these kinds of threads. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2005, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-differences-definition-of-cute/288016/29 "2005-02-04T01:21:14Z")
> [@js\_africanus](#): > > I don’t have that impression. I get the impression that for guys generally, cute is either a class of attractiveness, e.g. girlish & bouncy and attractive in a button-nose sort of way; or attractiveness coupled with a playful personality. I agree with this. (And FTR, “cute” for me is a higher compliment than “sexy.”) ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2005, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-differences-definition-of-cute/288016/30 "2005-02-04T01:22:54Z")
Oops. That was in reply to **sweetfreak**. ---
**Author:** ![kimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f0a364/32.png) [@kimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kimera)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2005, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-differences-definition-of-cute/288016/31 "2005-02-04T06:29:08Z")
I used to **hate** being called cute. I’m 5’2, about 95 pounds and I can fit in a suitcase. When I was in High School it used to drive me crazy because I wanted to be ‘sexy,’ ‘beautiful,’ ‘hot,’ etc, but always, always guys would call me cute. Even when I wore only boy’s clothing and cussed like a sailor, somehow they would end up saying “awww, you’re so cute!” Now that I am 23, it doesn’t bother me anymore. I actually prefer it, especially when interacting with drunk guys. I’d rather get my cheeks pinched than my ass slapped. The only downside is that people will randomly pick me up off the ground. Thankfully, they don’t do this as much as they used to. When I say a guy is cute, it means ‘I’d do him’ unless the person is too young for me. I know a lot of girls who use it to mean he isn’t their type, but for me ‘cute’ is my type. When I say it about girls, it means “If I was into girls, I’d do her.” When looking at my female friends, I think the cutest ones are the small ones with large smiles. I have several female friends that sometimes I just want to take home with me and cuddle because they are just too cute. They have to be nice people though, otherwise they lose their cuteness. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2005, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-differences-definition-of-cute/288016/32 "2005-02-04T07:21:07Z")
I think it’s divided between people who use cute as their highest compliment and people who use cute as a kind of “consolation prize” compliment. I am in the former category. Cute trumps merely hot every time, partly because cute can and often is hot as well. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2005, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-differences-definition-of-cute/288016/33 "2005-02-04T17:38:04Z")
> [@SusanStoHelit](#): > > Ha! I’m a student at OSU … BOOO! HISS! GO DUCKS! ---
**Author:** ![SusanStoHelit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@SusanStoHelit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SusanStoHelit)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2005, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-differences-definition-of-cute/288016/34 "2005-02-04T18:50:57Z")
> [@js\_africanus](#): > > BOOO! HISS! > GO DUCKS! My parents are U of O season ticket holders. Not only that, but they’ve bought _me_ season tickets for the past 7 years. Times I’ve used it? Once. I think that the guys in helmets ran around the field a lot for some reason. I dunno, I was reading Pratchett at the time. Plus, having a Beaver for a mascot gives you way more opportunities for double entendres than a Duck would. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-differences-definition-of-cute/288016/35 "2005-02-05T19:36:05Z")
> [@SusanStoHelit](#): > > Plus, having a Beaver for a mascot gives you way more opportunities for double entendres than a Duck would. You mean like, chewing on wood? ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-differences-definition-of-cute/288016/36 "2005-02-05T20:46:36Z")
Me: _pointing to baby in carriage_ “Oh, that’s so cute!” Me: _pointing to picture of Ioan Gruffudd_ “Now _he’s_ cute!” Eugene (male friend): _pointing to baby in carriage_ “Oh, that’s so cute!” Eugene: _pointing to mildly attractive fellow student_ “Heh. She’s cute.” Any good? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-differences-definition-of-cute/288016.md?page=1)