# Gender English......... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 14, 2001, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-english/76209 "2001-08-14T16:41:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-english/76209/1 "2001-08-14T16:41:06Z")
Women’s English: Yes = No No = Yes Maybe = No I’m sorry = You’ll be sorry We need = I want It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now. Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later. We need to talk = I need to complain. Sure go ahead = I don’t want you to. I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron! You’re so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs. This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house. I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper… Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there! I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep. Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive. How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re really not going to like. I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV. Is my butt fat? = Tell me I’m beautiful. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me. Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you’re dead.] Was that the baby? = Why don’t you get out of bed and walk him until he falls asleep. I’m not yelling! = Yes, I am yelling because I think this is Important. The same old thing = Nothing Nothing = Everything Ari Levine ---
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-english/76209/2 "2001-08-14T16:44:45Z")
That’s funny because we’re all the same. ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-english/76209/3 "2001-08-14T16:51:51Z")
Definitely, Francesca…and it was almost as hysterical as it was the first 5,000,000 times I saw it. I’m managing to repress my guffaws, though. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-english/76209/4 "2001-08-14T17:06:33Z")
Here we go again… ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-english/76209/5 "2001-08-14T17:24:40Z")
Did you come up with these yourself, or did you have help? :rolleyes: Robin ---
**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-english/76209/6 "2001-08-14T17:36:23Z")
Ok Ok I Give up! 😃 VB runs away, dodging the stuff being thrown at him by Righteously Indignant Board Wimmins! I didn’t write this swill; I’m not a chauvinist; honest! I actually also looked for the guy version (I’ve seen one) but couldn’t find it to post’em together. Please don’t make me sleep in the doghouse _again!_ ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-english/76209/7 "2001-08-14T17:40:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Vestal Blue \* > \*\*Ok Ok I Give up! 😃 > > VB runs away, dodging the stuff being thrown at him by Righteously Indignant Board Wimmins! > > I didn’t write this swill; I’m not a chauvinist; honest! > I actually also looked for the guy version (I’ve seen one) but couldn’t find it to post’em together. > > * * * Do’t trouble yourself looking for the other version. Most people have received both in e-mails more times than they can count… ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-english/76209/8 "2001-08-14T17:42:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Vestal Blue \* > \*\*Ok Ok I Give up! 😃 > > VB runs away, dodging the stuff being thrown at him by Righteously Indignant Board Wimmins! > > I didn’t write this swill; I’m not a chauvinist; honest! > I actually also looked for the guy version (I’ve seen one) but couldn’t find it to post’em together. > > * * * Don’t trouble yourself looking for the other version. Most people have received both in e-mails more times than they can count… ---
**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-english/76209/9 "2001-08-14T18:55:58Z")
Yeah, you’re right, **elf** ; pretty old, tacky stuff. Ladies, forgive my faux pas, please. ---
**Author:** ![Tir\_Tinuviel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@Tir\_Tinuviel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tir_Tinuviel)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-english/76209/10 "2001-08-14T19:33:12Z")
No English Woman would say “butt” She’d say “ARSE” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Tir\_Tinuviel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@Tir\_Tinuviel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tir_Tinuviel)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-english/76209/11 "2001-08-14T19:38:15Z")
No English Woman would say “butt” She’d say “ARSE” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-english/76209/12 "2001-08-14T20:21:42Z")
We’re not fighting ignorance today? ---
**Author:** ![ModernRonin2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c37758/32.png) [@ModernRonin2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ModernRonin2)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-english/76209/13 "2001-08-14T21:22:35Z")
So post the male version already. I think it’d be hilarious! What, you deny me? Well then, you will be subjected to THE MAN TEST!!! [http://priceless.bla-bla.com/Priceless-ManTest.htm](http://priceless.bla-bla.com/Priceless-ManTest.htm) -Ben ---
**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-english/76209/14 "2001-08-14T21:42:45Z")
I must be a failure as a “real Man”; I only scored 10% ---
**Author:** ![WEW](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8edcca/32.png) [@WEW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WEW)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-english/76209/15 "2001-08-14T22:59:38Z")
I scored 0%, but went on to enjoy the rest of the web site.