# Gender Pronouns (original title: Should we have gender-identifiers on the SDMB?) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 5, 2021, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846 "2021-11-05T17:34:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2021, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846/21 "2021-11-05T20:50:54Z")
I see a gen door and I want it painted black. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2021, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846/22 "2021-11-05T21:31:41Z")
I don’t see anything good coming out of it, and can see it causing problems. ---
**Author:** ![Esprise\_Me](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprise_me/32/2947_2.png) [@Esprise\_Me](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprise_Me)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2021, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846/23 "2021-11-05T21:42:51Z")
I would strongly prefer not to have any such system, even if we could opt out. One of the things I love about message boards is engaging and being engaged with on the merits of the words, instead of preconceived notions of who people are based on gender and other visible characteristics. I actually sorta like it when a poster who doesn’t know me at all mistakenly refers to me with male pronouns, because it shows that I was able to bypass any sexist beliefs they might hold in this interaction. Obviously I’m not cagey about my gender and it comes up naturally in discussion, but I trust it to matter less with people who remember enough about my prior posts to remember that I’m a woman. Presumably, they remember enough other stuff about me that I’m not _just_ some woman. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2021, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846/24 "2021-11-05T21:53:56Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > I think an option would be fine, as long as there was no requirement to enter something. I like this. > [@Broomstick](#): > > Could we NOT use stereotypical colors, PLEASE? I absolutely loathe pink. Note to self: if I get @Broomstick in the gift exchange, **no pink!** > [@DocCathode](#): > > I don’t see anything good coming out of it, and can see it causing problems. In this group?? The most mellow, civil, non-argumentative, easy-going, un-opinionated bunch in the world? Nah. ---
**Author:** ![BippityBoppityBoo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bippityboppityboo/32/5745_2.png) [@BippityBoppityBoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BippityBoppityBoo)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2021, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846/25 "2021-11-05T22:25:48Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > Note to self: if I get @Broomstick in the gift exchange, **no pink!** They are self-declared as preferring purple~have at it. Purple snuggly socks , what’s not to love? ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2021, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846/26 "2021-11-05T22:31:18Z")
I dislike pink, overall. Don’t believe most people understand pink was the boy color at the turn of the 20th century, blue was for girls. I can have purple? I would tolerate green or even amber, just not pink. And I identify as human. If anybody other than my husband is concerned with what genitalia I possess, they can ask me. I will comment dudette if misidentified and I feel it is pertinant. ---
**Author:** ![Esprise\_Me](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprise_me/32/2947_2.png) [@Esprise\_Me](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprise_Me)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2021, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846/27 "2021-11-05T22:32:43Z")
Also, we have avatars. People who want their gender to be clear can choose an avatar that makes it so. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2021, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846/28 "2021-11-05T22:40:58Z")
My avatar is actually a picture of me in a Stearman biplane… but people still get my gender wrong. Because all pilots are men, right? Also, apparently the headset microphone is frequently mistaken for a mustache. ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2021, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846/29 "2021-11-05T22:59:50Z")
You’re right, everybody. Bad idea. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2021, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846/30 "2021-11-05T23:03:39Z")
Generally speaking, I don’t think about the gender of other poster, unless it’s relevant to a particular conversation. And outside suck particular conversations, I don’t see a need to know anyone’s gender for sure. For some posters I have leaned their genders just by happenstance. If I’m not sure of someone’s gender, I’m happy to use gender-neutral pronouns as some of you have noticed in my posts. Can we have signatures in this board? Those who wish to could put gender indicators there. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2021, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846/31 "2021-11-05T23:04:28Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > My avatar is actually a picture of me in a Stearman biplane… but people still get my gender wrong. Because all pilots are men, right? Also, apparently the headset microphone is frequently mistaken for a mustache. To be honest, all I see is a blur, so I wouldn’t make any assumptions based on that image anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2021, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846/32 "2021-11-05T23:22:01Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > Don’t believe most people understand pink was the boy color at the turn of the 20th century, blue was for girls. Pink was the color of flushed skin (for lighter-skinned people at least) and was associated with physical exertion, so it was considered the more masculine color. Frankly whatever we do for gender identification (if anything), I’d prefer it not to be based on color. > [@Acsenray](#): > > Can we have signatures in this board? Those who wish to could put gender indicators there. This seems like the best solution. ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2021, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846/33 "2021-11-06T02:14:36Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > My avatar is actually a picture of me in a Stearman biplane… but people still get my gender wrong. Because all pilots are men, right? That picture is so blurry, it is impossible to tell anything about the person in it. Or even that there **is** a person in it. ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2021, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846/34 "2021-11-06T02:19:55Z")
Gender of pilot? I didn’t know that was a plane. When you have 30 x 30 pixels to play with higher contrast helps. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2021, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846/35 "2021-11-06T02:59:14Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > My avatar is actually a picture of me in a Stearman biplane… but people still get my gender wrong. Because all pilots are men, right? Also, apparently the headset microphone is frequently mistaken for a mustache. It would help if you uploaded your avatar in higher resolution. Discourse will still reduce it to 45x45, but when clicking on it to see your card, it will appear as 120x120 px. If you only upload a 45x45 image, the larger one will just be an enlarged blur. If you upload a higher-res one, the enlarged one will have more detail. Click on my avatar to see the difference in detail. (My avatar is of course gender-expressive. I am obviously a Very Good Boy.) 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2021, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846/36 "2021-11-06T05:17:03Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Could we NOT use stereotypical colors, PLEASE? I absolutely loathe pink. [. . .] (Admittedly, my hang up about pink is unusual and my own) You are not alone in this. I associate it with being dressed up in a frilly pink dress and being told to sit like a lady and keep my voice down. I will grant that all those pussy hats a few years ago put rather a dent in that association, but I still don’t want to be labeled pink. I strongly prefer ‘they’ to ‘he’ for the generic. Default-male annoys me, though in the context of this board it’s a quite minor annoyance. If you go into your preferences and go to “profile” and put your pronouns as the first line under “about me”, that will show when anyone clicks on your avatar, which makes it a handy way to check when replying to posts. Or it would, if most people who care about pronouns would do it. People who prefer not to can of course just not do it. (You could fill in your location while you’re at it, or even if you’re not going to fill in gender – that gets a line of its own in preferences, just scroll down a bit from “about me.” This would often be very useful when people are discussing anything from weather to politics.) [ETA: you can click on my avatar to see an example of both.] > [@Acsenray](#): > > To be honest, all I see is a blur, so I wouldn’t make any assumptions based on that image anyway. Yeah, the avatars on this board are too tiny for me to even tell what most of them are, let alone what gender they are. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2021, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846/37 "2021-11-06T08:07:00Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > It would help if you uploaded your avatar in higher resolution. Discourse will still reduce it to 45x45, but when clicking on it to see your card, it will appear as 120x120 px. If you only upload a 45x45 image, the larger one will just be an enlarged blur. If you upload a higher-res one, the enlarged one will have more detail. Click on my avatar to see the difference in detail. It is the originally tiny picture I uploaded when we first got avatars. I’ll have to see about getting a larger version uploaded when I get a chance. Thanks for suggesting that, though. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2021, 9:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846/38 "2021-11-06T09:17:14Z")
I just did what most people do these days. I added “he/him” to my name on my profile. You can see it in a popup when you click or tap on my name at the top of a post. This allows you to check if you’re interested and not if you’re not. I prefer the pronouns because they cut straight to the point. The one reason I would try to figure out your gender if I didn’t know it would be to use the correct pronouns. The fact that it is practical also discourages the frivolous answers that @AHunter3 mentions, while still leaving it open for those who genuinely want to not use he/she/they. (BTW, @AHunter3: do you prefer “they”? That’s what I would normally use for someone with a dual gender avatar, but I know you’re not conventional.) ---
**Author:** ![Toxylon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f05b48/32.png) [@Toxylon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toxylon)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2021, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846/39 "2021-11-06T10:16:19Z")
I agree. The lack of gender identifiers is a feature, not a bug. ---
**Author:** ![saje](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saje/32/3631_2.png) [@saje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saje)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2021, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846/40 "2021-11-06T11:05:29Z")
“Should we have gender-identifiers on the SDMB?” No. I am a person, an individual first and my gender is generally irrelevant. If I’m discussing something where my experiences as a nearly 60 yo white woman have bearing, then I can state that - or not - if I feel the need. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846.md?page=3)