# Gender Pronouns (original title: Should we have gender-identifiers on the SDMB?) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 5, 2021, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846 "2021-11-05T17:34:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2021, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846/41 "2021-11-06T11:25:21Z")
Not interested in anyones sex or gender generally as it very rarely makes any difference to the point being made. On the rare occaisions it might be important then feel free to mention it. I don’t see a need to make changes to formally state it. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2021, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846/42 "2021-11-06T11:44:12Z")
I like the fact that my name is ambiguous and people have gendered me both ways. A vote against a general standard/expectation. As noted by others there are ways to communicate this if the poster wishes/chooses. ---
**Author:** ![Die\_Capacitrix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/die_capacitrix/32/9_2.png) [@Die\_Capacitrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Die_Capacitrix)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2021, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846/43 "2021-11-06T12:44:05Z")
My user name happens to be gendered, and I also avoid pink. I’m team purple 💜. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2021, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846/44 "2021-11-06T13:20:17Z")
Nobody has a clue as to my gender, and I prefer it that way. Oh wait…never mind. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2021, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846/45 "2021-11-06T13:32:48Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Some user names have an “obvious” gender. And some usernames even have an “obvious” gender that doesn’t match the poster’s actual gender. IIRC, we used to have a male poster named @Ilsa_Lund , for instance. Though I imagine that he knew that, by picking that name, he’d get misgendered a lot, and didn’t mind. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2021, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846/46 "2021-11-06T13:48:13Z")
I hate the color pink with the heat of 1,000 suns. I hate it more than I hate cilantro. On the other hand, blue is my favorite color. Please do not force me to misidentify my gender (which I would hate _almost_ as must as cilantro) just so my name can be in blue. There’s actually a fad right now to follow your name in your email sig with your preferred pronouns as a handy guide for anyone who doesn’t know. If a particular poster is often misidentified, and wants it to stop that poster can post preferred pronouns. Me, people can usually figure out, and the very occasional hes/hims don’t even bother me slightly. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2021, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846/47 "2021-11-06T14:00:42Z")
As **ECG** said in post 8, **color is not an option.** > [@engineer\_comp\_geek](#): > > Names are varying shades of gray / black depending on Discourse’s trust level. Regardless of whether you think this is a good idea or not, changing name colors isn’t an option. As mentioned above, many of us have added preferred pronouns to our profiles. But as mentioned by others, that isn’t all that helpful. Though clicking my avatar brings up a lot of info. We’ve had threads on the Pronouns and Locations. > [@Doper locations](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-locations/931343): > > On the old board, you could often/generally see where Dopers are located. Is this information available on the new board? > [@Is there any way to show "location" anymore?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-way-to-show-location-anymore/925378): > > Don’t know if this is ATMB or Site Feedback: is there a way to show location in the new platform? I miss those little glimpses of where posters were from. > [@I Locationed - Have you? A thread with a Community Benefit](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-locationed-have-you-a-thread-with-a-community-benefit/925454): > > Hi folks - Just like vBulletin, Discourse has a place for you to enter your location. Which will be displayed if somebody clicks on your avatar. Try mine and look just below the big pink/purple L. Back in vBulletin most of us put something in the location in our profile. Some as a joke, most as legit info. During the conversion to Discourse that info was not transferred. So nearly everybody now has a blank location. And nearly everybody doesn’t know that, and also doesn’t know that they can… * * * I can’t find the pronoun thread, sorry. But same idea as location. See how I loaded mine by clicking my avatar. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2021, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846/48 "2021-11-06T14:06:47Z")
Having one’s gender more forward is not _that_ much worse than already being saddled by English grammar being too gender-focused, but it’s still worse. The farthest I’d go would be an optional “gender pronoun preferences” field somewhere prominent in the user’s profile, that users can use and see if they so choose. ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2021, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846/49 "2021-11-06T14:08:23Z")
I could see some people seeing this as an enticing opportunity for trolling/socking/otherwise mindfucking, similar to a black conservative, misogynist woman, ‘real liberal’, or similar phenomena. I think disruptive folks like that would just loooove gender flair, and they’d probably agitate for racial flair as well. It’s a road best avoided. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2021, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846/50 "2021-11-06T14:18:33Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > Nobody has a clue as to my gender, and I prefer it that way. > > Oh wait…never mind. I don’t assume that usernames indicate gender. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2021, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846/51 "2021-11-06T14:37:11Z")
My avatar thing is **b** eer, which suggests **b** oy, but in can see how someone could look at my avatar and think **g** ood, so I must be a **g** irl. But seriously, no problem here, so don’t fix it. ---
**Author:** ![ASL\_v2.0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asl_v2.0/32/3525_2.png) [@ASL\_v2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASL_v2.0)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2021, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846/52 "2021-11-06T15:36:09Z")
> [@Esprise\_Me](#): > > Also, we have avatars. People who want their gender to be clear can choose an avatar that makes it so. Seems like a waste of an avatar. Alternatively, there was, briefly, a way for people to customize their member/guest feature just after the transition to discourse, and there are even some examples of that in this thread. Seems like, especially as there is no mechanism to pay for membership these days, we might be well-served by turning that feature back on, and then those who wish can customize it to include their preferred pronouns. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2021, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846/53 "2021-11-06T15:50:16Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > I prefer the pronouns because they cut straight to the point. The one reason I would try to figure out your gender if I didn’t know it would be to use the correct pronouns. The fact that it is practical also discourages the frivolous answers that @AHunter3 mentions, while still leaving it open for those who genuinely want to not use he/she/they. > > (BTW, @AHunter3: do you prefer “they”? That’s what I would normally use for someone with a dual gender avatar, but I know you’re not conventional.) I don’t have any preferred pronouns. I have a sex AND a gender; they don’t happen to be one of the expected combinations. I’m not offended by “they” but neither am I offended by “she” or “he”. The problem with pronouns is that they, _once again_, conflate sex with gender (or else pretend that one is important and the other not). So the pronouns thing doesn’t let me out myself, beyond “one of those self-identified misfitty people”. Like “genderqueer”, it mostly means “etcetera”. Now if there were TWO pronouns, one for one’s sex and one for one’s gender… or two blanks, with or without dropdown value list… ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2021, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846/54 "2021-11-06T17:22:40Z")
I’m late to the conversation but just want to alert everyone here to the fact that people who prefer _purple_ are often serial killers. 😶 (Yes, I’m j/k. Don’t go adding me on your _kill list_.) ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2021, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846/55 "2021-11-06T18:01:28Z")
Here’s my problem with the idea - admittedly less of an issue here on an anonymous website vs real-life professional work - in that there is social pressure to self-identify. Yes they say it is optional but in reality if you are not putting he-him-his or she-her-hers or it-it-its there is a social pressure for you to include it in your title. Just like someone should be free to publicize their gender identity I should likewise be free to privatize mine. ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2021, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846/56 "2021-11-06T18:43:33Z")
> [@ASL\_v2.0](#): > > there was, briefly, a way for people to customize their member/guest feature just after the transition to discourse That’s not a feature that can be turned on or off. It’s tied into Discourse’s trust levels. Some users ended up at a higher trust level than intended due to the requirements for higher trust levels not being set up correctly when we first switched to Discourse. That was fixed. Higher trust levels effectively give users a lot of moderation-level privileges. It’s not just the ability to edit titles. Turning on the ability to edit titles for regular users isn’t an option. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2021, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846/57 "2021-11-06T18:57:04Z")
> [@Saint\_Cad](#): > > Yes they say it is optional but in reality if you are not putting he-him-his or she-her-hers or it-it-its there is a social pressure for you to include it in your title. I disagree. I’ve seen people who are very open with their identity here; they have given us their real life names, linked to social media, plugged books they’ve written, etc. Then there are people like me who don’t mind giving details now and then but don’t feel 100% comfortable broadcasting their real life identity all over. (Not like I’m famous or anything, I’m a nobody, but I’m a nobody who wants a little privacy.) There are others who give zero information and want to be completely anonymous. And that’s okay. Others I’m sure give a lot of details that aren’t true and, eh, whatever. I’m not good with that but what can you do? All you can do is trust them until they give you a reason not to. My point is that there is currently no pressure right now either explicit or implicit to reveal who you are on the boards and there’s a wide spectrum of transparency, all of which is accepted. I don’t see that changing even the tiniest bit if we add an optional “gender” field, or get signatures added which some people choose to add pronouns to. It would just be another avenue to reveal some of your info if you’re comfortable, but nobody will have any expectations that everyone will use it. ETA: I know there are sites and organizations that consider it “respectful” to include pronouns and make a big deal about them. The SDMB is not that kind of place. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2021, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846/58 "2021-11-06T19:03:29Z")
> [@Atamasama](#): > > I disagree. As I pointed out, my statement is more about real-life than here. HERE we don’t know what will happen until it happens but I have seen instances on this board a few times where “honest debate” about political issues et alii were just social pressure arguments. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2021, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846/59 "2021-11-06T20:09:14Z")
> [@Saint\_Cad](#): > > As I pointed out, my statement is more about real-life than here. Fair enough. I know some workplaces make that sort of thing compulsory, or make it practically compulsory with peer pressure. As do some platforms or groups within those platforms. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2021, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846/60 "2021-11-06T20:18:24Z")
This is my feeling as well. Some colleagues at other universities are being required and while I’m fine with this as an option, I have concerns about mandates. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-pronouns-original-title-should-we-have-gender-identifiers-on-the-sdmb/953846.md?page=4)