# Gender Support Thread for Dopers who are gender diverse, families of trans people, or allies **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 7, 2024, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-support-thread-for-dopers-who-are-gender-diverse-families-of-trans-people-or-allies/998563 "2024-03-07T03:51:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2025, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-support-thread-for-dopers-who-are-gender-diverse-families-of-trans-people-or-allies/998563/141 "2025-01-23T13:37:37Z")
Yeah, I miss them both very much too. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2025, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-support-thread-for-dopers-who-are-gender-diverse-families-of-trans-people-or-allies/998563/142 "2025-01-23T13:56:33Z")
You’ve abundantly earned the title of ally with honors for stepping up and helping out every time I called on you. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2025, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-support-thread-for-dopers-who-are-gender-diverse-families-of-trans-people-or-allies/998563/143 "2025-01-23T14:05:32Z")
Another ally here. We have gay relatives and my SO’s oldest friend is trans. As for myself, I’m basically asexual: I am attracted to the opposite sex but have no interest in copulation. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2025, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-support-thread-for-dopers-who-are-gender-diverse-families-of-trans-people-or-allies/998563/144 "2025-01-23T15:32:37Z")
Again, thank you. I always enjoy your sharing your knowledge of languages and cultures with us. ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2025, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-support-thread-for-dopers-who-are-gender-diverse-families-of-trans-people-or-allies/998563/145 "2025-01-23T18:10:23Z")
You’re most welcome. I’m continually surprised that with all the overwhelming medical and scientific evidence supporting gender affirming care, there are still transphobic people out there spouting whatever prejudicial bullshit comes to their minds. I understand that our society as a whole has a long way to go in understanding and acceptance, but on a message board dedicated to fighting ignorance, it’s baffling that there are trans-phobes still here. Anyway, you are welcome in this thread, whoever you are and however you present yourself. And I’m honoured if you ever want to come over and have a seat near me! ---
**Author:** ![xtenkfarpl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/c2a13f/32.png) [@xtenkfarpl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xtenkfarpl)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2025, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-support-thread-for-dopers-who-are-gender-diverse-families-of-trans-people-or-allies/998563/146 "2025-01-23T19:06:48Z")
As a musician, I have played with a wide variety of people over the years. For me it doesn’t matter what you look like: the important thing is: can you actually play your instrument?\* And just as important, listen to other musicians in the band and contribute to the whole performance or composition. - Instrument includes voice, of course! ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2025, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-support-thread-for-dopers-who-are-gender-diverse-families-of-trans-people-or-allies/998563/147 "2025-01-31T06:39:34Z")
For all my US friends - I’m so sorry to read the news, and I hope everyone is okay. We will get through this, despite the bigotry and ignorance that surrounds us!! ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2025, 9:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-support-thread-for-dopers-who-are-gender-diverse-families-of-trans-people-or-allies/998563/148 "2025-01-31T09:29:14Z")
> [@xtenkfarpl](#): > > For me it doesn’t matter what you look like: the important thing is: can you actually play your instrument? Yeah. I don’t care, as long as you can do what you say—play music, do research, practice law or medicine, check my groceries through at the supermarket, whatever. Hell, even engage in a pleasant conversation about nothing in particular while we wait out a delay of some sort at the airport or similar. I’m another who misses the contributions of @Una_Persson and @Eve. They knew their stuff (engineering and old movies, respectively), and even if the thread topic involved neither, I respected their views on everything they spoke to. No matter what was the subject of the thread, theirs were voices that informed and advanced the discussion. I miss them, and I hope they come back. I’ve known a few people who have transitioned. They’re still great friends, though we’re not in touch much, since I moved across the country. But the fact remains: trans folks, you’ve got an ally in me. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2025, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-support-thread-for-dopers-who-are-gender-diverse-families-of-trans-people-or-allies/998563/149 "2025-01-31T16:54:28Z")
For a bit of, I hope, encouraging noise: A few days ago someone posted on my local small town/rural area Nextdoor, asking for recommendations for a safe space hair salon. Nextdoor, right? And this is quite a red area. About half a dozen people chimed in with about twice that many recommendations. There haven’t been any even vaguely critical posts at all. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2025, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-support-thread-for-dopers-who-are-gender-diverse-families-of-trans-people-or-allies/998563/150 "2025-01-31T19:45:38Z")
I am cishet but two of my dearest friends, I consider them family, are a trans woman and her partner who is nonbinary. It’s impossible to know people like them and not be an ally. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2025, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-support-thread-for-dopers-who-are-gender-diverse-families-of-trans-people-or-allies/998563/151 "2025-01-31T22:10:29Z")
I’m glad to see this thread is doing well and well enough to get @Johanna’s stamp of approval! I stayed away out of fear of what it might devolve in to but it’s so nice to see things are going as intended! I’m a cis-het woman who is often mistaken for a lesbian or a man. It used to bother me a lot as a young person but by high school I got to know actual LGBTQ people (including the many gay adults I worked with in the restaurant business). For one thing they were so wonderful to hang out with, I didn’t need acceptance of cis-het world. And for another thing I quickly learned there was nothing wrong with being a lesbian or trans so where’s the insult there? I have two friends who are trans. One is closer than the other. The one was a friend all the way from elementary school to high school, and went her own way from the rest of us after college. After an initial ignorant shock of knowing she transitioned some time around 23, all of us high school friends were cool with it. I re-established a relationship with her. I read her transition blog. She is such a normal boring woman living a normal boring life - I couldn’t be more proud of her!!! I’m glad to still be trusted enough to be her friend. The other person is someone who I worked with in the restaurants. They were by all accounts living life as a cis-het man (amongst all of the queer people where we worked) with a wife and kids. One year they came to the company Halloween party dressed as a glamorous woman. Some years later I saw on Facebook that she fully transitioned. Huh! Anyway, I’m proud to have a toe in the queer world as someone who just looks “wrong” but also glad to not only be fully accepted by all of the queer people I have met and formed bonds with, but hopefully also a strong ally. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2025, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-support-thread-for-dopers-who-are-gender-diverse-families-of-trans-people-or-allies/998563/152 "2025-01-31T22:12:15Z")
Welcome along, Zipper! ---
**Author:** ![P-man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/p-man/32/3606_2.png) [@P-man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/P-man)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2025, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-support-thread-for-dopers-who-are-gender-diverse-families-of-trans-people-or-allies/998563/153 "2025-01-31T22:38:49Z")
My daughter is a trans woman, as is her girlfriend. I’ve also had some trans students over the years. I’ll defend them with every fiber of my being. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2025, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-support-thread-for-dopers-who-are-gender-diverse-families-of-trans-people-or-allies/998563/154 "2025-01-31T22:47:43Z")
Reading these encouraging posts is very helpful for my wellbeing. Thank you! ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2025, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-support-thread-for-dopers-who-are-gender-diverse-families-of-trans-people-or-allies/998563/155 "2025-02-02T19:40:02Z")
It was heartening that in church this morning, the minister made a point of saying that ‘this church does not support discrimination in any form against anyone in the LGTBQ community.’. That, and a mention of a friend of the minister in Georgia got picked up by ICE, and the church is trying to help sort all that out, made me feel a bit better about my new life in the US. Especially after a very rough night from the announcements about Canadian tariffs! ---
**Author:** ![Ms2001](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ms2001/32/18463_2.png) [@Ms2001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms2001)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2025, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-support-thread-for-dopers-who-are-gender-diverse-families-of-trans-people-or-allies/998563/156 "2025-02-07T16:38:45Z")
I suppose I might as well check in here… Hi, I’m a trans woman. I started medical transition a couple years ago, right before my 40th birthday, and social transition about 6 months later. Since then, I’ve learned that one of my cousins and one of my friends from high school are also trans, and another friend came out to me privately but isn’t planning to transition. Small world. This article, more than anything, is what made me realize it was an option for me: > **[Gender Desire vs. Gender Identity](https://medium.com/@kemenatan/gender-desire-vs-gender-identity-a334cb4eeec5)** > > Is wanting to be a woman the same as actually being a woman? ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2025, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-support-thread-for-dopers-who-are-gender-diverse-families-of-trans-people-or-allies/998563/157 "2025-02-07T16:45:23Z")
\< waves hello \> ---
**Author:** ![TroutMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troutman/32/6721_2.png) [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2025, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-support-thread-for-dopers-who-are-gender-diverse-families-of-trans-people-or-allies/998563/158 "2025-02-07T17:03:28Z")
That was a great essay, thanks for sharing. ---
**Author:** ![SailorHG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@SailorHG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SailorHG)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2025, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-support-thread-for-dopers-who-are-gender-diverse-families-of-trans-people-or-allies/998563/159 "2025-02-08T15:52:57Z")
An interesting perspective! Thank you for sharing. 🤗 ---
**Author:** ![xtenkfarpl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/c2a13f/32.png) [@xtenkfarpl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xtenkfarpl)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2025, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-support-thread-for-dopers-who-are-gender-diverse-families-of-trans-people-or-allies/998563/160 "2025-03-04T20:00:23Z")
> [@xtenkfarpl](#): > > As a musician, I have played with a wide variety of people over the years. > For me it doesn’t matter what you look like: the important thing is: can you actually play your instrument? Thinking some more about this… on the other side, I have occasionally played with a few really good musicians who were, unfortunately, strongly biased right-wing… well, let’s call them conservatives, to be polite. It’s hard to reconcile… what do you do? Obviously try to keep conversation away from politics and bite your tongue if they raise a controversial topic. One tries to be professional about it, I guess: it’s just a gig… you wouldn’t be in a band with them… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-support-thread-for-dopers-who-are-gender-diverse-families-of-trans-people-or-allies/998563.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gender-support-thread-for-dopers-who-are-gender-diverse-families-of-trans-people-or-allies/998563.md?page=9)