# Genius chimp shot by police **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 17, 2009, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-chimp-shot-by-police/486223 "2009-02-17T03:20:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-chimp-shot-by-police/486223/21 "2009-02-17T22:08:07Z")
> [@wolfman](#): > > That fact is seriously emphasized that Chimps, when pissed off, will try to bite off or rip off genitalia. That is \* not\* something that goes into the maybe column when considering pets. And here I am crossing off dog breeds because they _kinda smell more than other dogs_. ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-chimp-shot-by-police/486223/22 "2009-02-17T22:24:55Z")
> [@wolfman](#): > > That fact is seriously emphasized that Chimps, when pissed off, will try to bite off or rip off genitalia. Yup. Just ask one [Mr. St. James Davis](http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=1044680). ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-chimp-shot-by-police/486223/23 "2009-02-17T22:39:22Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > With the owner giving him drugs meant for humans, who knows what Travis had in his system. The article here says he had Lyme disease as well. No wonder he was ticked off… ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-chimp-shot-by-police/486223/24 "2009-02-17T22:57:32Z")
Reminds me of old advice that if you have a truly hated enemy, you’ll get him a Dancing Bear as a gift. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-chimp-shot-by-police/486223/25 "2009-02-17T23:09:39Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > Reminds me of old advice that if you have a truly hated enemy, you’ll get him a Dancing Bear as a gift. There’s a Jack London story in there somewhere. Messed up story about the chimp. But I can’t help thinking about the headlines if the worlds were reversed: > [@](#): > > Inigo would shit on the ground and fling his poo at his adversaries, did not wear clothes, plucked and ate parasites from his comrades, and mauled his siblings for rights to the banana bush. He also spoke only in grunts and chuffs, once even beat his chest in a display of dominance. But then it all changed when he unexpectedly donned denims and a t-shirt, grabbed a rifle and began shooting the other chimps yelling, “Git you some!” The incident ended sadly for Inigo as his limbs were dislocated and his gonads chewed from his body. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-chimp-shot-by-police/486223/26 "2009-02-17T23:42:54Z")
I hate chimps. I hate chimp movies, chimp stories and chimp photos. They aren’t in the least bit cuddly or cute, but are always portrayed that way, as some sort of miniature, hairy humans. They’re vicious, and as mentioned, go for the genitals and the fingers when provoked. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-chimp-shot-by-police/486223/27 "2009-02-17T23:51:01Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > I hate chimps. I hate chimp movies, chimp stories and chimp photos. They aren’t in the least bit cuddly or cute, but are always portrayed that way, as some sort of miniature, hairy humans. They’re vicious, and as mentioned, go for the genitals and the fingers when provoked. That would seem to imply that all chimps that have been kept in captivity should have attacked someone at some point, or are on the verge of doing so. Do you have anything concrete to reinforce such a claim? ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-chimp-shot-by-police/486223/28 "2009-02-18T00:58:52Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > That would seem to imply that all chimps that have been kept in captivity should have attacked someone at some point, or are on the verge of doing so. > > Do you have anything concrete to reinforce such a claim? “[Experienced handlers **never** go in with the primates,[chimpanzees]](http://www.wtnh.com/dpp/news/news_wtnh_bridgeport_chimp_bad_pet_200902171741_rev1)” says Director of Connecticut’s Beardsley Zoo [adult chimps are too difficult and dangerous to be handled,](http://www.stlzoo.org/yourvisit/thingstoseeanddo/thewild/fragileforest/whoswhoinourchimpanzeefami/hugo.htm) says St. Louis Zoo ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-chimp-shot-by-police/486223/29 "2009-02-18T01:03:06Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > They aren’t in the least bit cuddly or cute, but are always portrayed that way, as some sort of miniature, hairy humans. They’re vicious, and as mentioned, go for the genitals and the fingers when provoked. And we share, what, some 90% of our genes with them. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-chimp-shot-by-police/486223/30 "2009-02-18T01:16:24Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > “[Experienced handlers **never** go in with the primates,[chimpanzees]](http://www.wtnh.com/dpp/news/news_wtnh_bridgeport_chimp_bad_pet_200902171741_rev1)” says Director of Connecticut’s Beardsley Zoo > > [adult chimps are too difficult and dangerous to be handled,](http://www.stlzoo.org/yourvisit/thingstoseeanddo/thewild/fragileforest/whoswhoinourchimpanzeefami/hugo.htm) says St. Louis Zoo Can zoo chimps be said to have the same upbringing as one that has been raised as a pet though? Shouldn’t there be numerous reports of chimps going ape on their owners or their family and friends? And what’s the business about the chimp being 14 years old and ‘acting like a teenager’? Do they have exactly the same ‘body clock’ as humans? ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-chimp-shot-by-police/486223/31 "2009-02-18T01:53:50Z")
as they live into their 60’s, their body clock is closer to human; than say… dog to human. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-chimp-shot-by-police/486223/32 "2009-02-18T02:10:01Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > And we share, what, some 90% of our genes with them. Eh, so does my brother-in-law, and he’s as vicious as any chimp. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-chimp-shot-by-police/486223/33 "2009-02-18T02:44:28Z")
Well, there you go. A good guy to have on your side in a bar fight, but a vicious bastard to piss off however innocently. [Bonobos](http://songweaver.com/info/bonobos.html) on the other hand, are cool. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-chimp-shot-by-police/486223/34 "2009-02-18T03:39:51Z")
> [@wolfman](#): > > That fact is seriously emphasized that Chimps, when pissed off, will try to bite off or rip off genitalia. That is \* not\* something that goes into the maybe column when considering pets. I better contact my HMO and tell em its a big negatory on the helper monkey. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-chimp-shot-by-police/486223/35 "2009-02-18T03:46:04Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > I better contact my HMO and tell em its a big negatory on the helper monkey. Chimps are apes, not monkeys. Monkeys have tails, apes do not. I do not wish to offend a guest. We are sort of obsessive here. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-chimp-shot-by-police/486223/36 "2009-02-18T03:54:05Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Chimps are apes, not monkeys. Monkeys have tails, apes do not. > > I do not wish to offend a guest. We are sort of obsessive here. Don’t piss me off. You don’t wanna know what I go for ! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Stephe96](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Stephe96](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephe96)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-chimp-shot-by-police/486223/37 "2009-02-18T06:16:29Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > before being shot to death. No, it wasn’t the bullets. Twas beauty killed the beast. ---
**Author:** ![Jolly\_Roger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/91b2a8/32.png) [@Jolly\_Roger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jolly_Roger)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-chimp-shot-by-police/486223/38 "2009-02-18T13:18:19Z")
You maniacs…you blew it up! Damn you! Damn you all to hell! Sorry, whenever I think of apes that phrase pops up in my mind. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-chimp-shot-by-police/486223/39 "2009-02-18T13:26:45Z")
It should be illegal to keep apes, monkeys, lions, tigers, bears, pythons, etc. as pets. This not only deprives the animal of living in a natural environment, it endangers the entire household and any visitors. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-chimp-shot-by-police/486223/40 "2009-02-18T13:58:46Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > Don’t piss me off. You don’t wanna know what I go for ! 🙂 Could we get you something, Sir? Perhaps a nice bunch of bananas? 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-chimp-shot-by-police/486223.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-chimp-shot-by-police/486223.md?page=3)