# Genius football chants **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 16, 2007, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-football-chants/388249 "2007-01-16T21:51:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![scott62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@scott62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scott62)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-football-chants/388249/1 "2007-01-16T21:51:07Z")
What’s the best football (soccer, I guess) chant you’ve heard? I read of one today, Liverpool fans (the best in the world) have been heard to sing to the tune of Feddy La Grande - Put Your Hands up for Detroit : Put your hands up for Dirk Kuyt - He loves this city ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-football-chants/388249/2 "2007-01-16T22:57:32Z")
[Rensselaer Polytechnic](http://www.rpi.edu/): > [@](#): > > x to the x, dy dx > x to the x, dx > secant, tangent, cosine, sine > 3.14159 > Disentegrate 'em, RPI! ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_Greenback](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baron_greenback/32/48_2.png) [@Baron\_Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_Greenback)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-football-chants/388249/3 "2007-01-16T23:24:34Z")
[QUOTE=Lute Skywatcher] [Rensselaer Polytechnic](http://www.rpi.edu/): [/QUOTE] Did they win many games? In Scotland, Rangers goalkeeper Andy “The Goalie” Goram was used to his adoring home support chanting “There’s only one Andy Goram, one Andy Goram, one Andy Gooooruuuummmm” - to the tune of Guantanamera. Unfortunately for Andy the booze and kebabs took their toll, and he confessed to the newspapers that he had been diagnosed as being mildly schizophrenic. Cue every opposition support for the rest of his career breaking out in: “There’s only two Andy Goram’s…”. ---
**Author:** ![Capt.Ridley\_s\_Shooting\_Party](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cc9497/32.png) [@Capt.Ridley\_s\_Shooting\_Party](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt.Ridley_s_Shooting_Party)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-football-chants/388249/4 "2007-01-16T23:31:24Z")
“We all live in a proddy housing scheme…” to the tune of “Yellow Submarine” by Rangers’ fans. There was another one about stabbing Lennon in the neck, but it wasn’t as catchy 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-football-chants/388249/5 "2007-01-16T23:54:04Z")
[QUOTE=Struan] Did they win many games? [/QUOTE] Not usually. They once went six years (43 games) without a win. ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_Greenback](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baron_greenback/32/48_2.png) [@Baron\_Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_Greenback)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-football-chants/388249/6 "2007-01-16T23:54:16Z")
A trenchant commentary on the socio-economic situation of the supporters of the two main Glasgow clubs (Rangers and Celtic), oft quoted by fans from other parts of the country goes thus: “In your Glasgow slums In your Glasgow slums You rake in your buckets for something to eat You find a dead rat and you think it’s a treat In your Glasgow slums In your Glasgow slums Your mum’s on the game and Your dad’s in the nick You can’t get a job cause you’re so fucking thick In your Glasgow slums” There are loads of others: Here’s one from Manchester United, about either one of the brothers Phil and Gary Neville, to the tune of David Bowie’s “Rebel Rebel”: “Neville Neville, you play in defence, Neville Neville, your play is immense, Neville Neville, like Jacko you’re bad, Neville Neville is the name of your dad” And yes, the Neville brothers’ dad is called Neville Neville. Somewhat crueller is the chant directed at David Beckham, referring to him and his wife’s matrimonial arrangements - to the tune of the Pet Shop Boys/Village People classic “Go West”: “Posh Spice takes it up the arse” ad infinitum. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-football-chants/388249/7 "2007-01-16T23:58:34Z")
I know a lot of old stuff about Los Angeles High School, not because I went there but because I’m interested in local institional history, and about a hundred years ago they used this: > [@Old L.A.H.S. cheer](#): > > Riggi ko-ax! ko-ax! ko-ax! > Riggi koax! Koax! > Hiero!! Kiero!! > Wallaga, wallaga, wallaga, wax! > High School! Why yes, I think High School has a lot to offer the budding intellect, but you’d think when it came to school pride they would have wanted to mention _their_ high school. ---
**Author:** ![griffin1977](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@griffin1977](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/griffin1977)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2007, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-football-chants/388249/8 "2007-01-17T00:03:15Z")
A rather cruel, but funny, one I heard of (not heard personally). After [Andy Goram](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andy_Goram) was reported to have schizophrenia fans sang: Two Andy Gorams, there’s only two Andy Gorams I also like that that when Liverpool played Monaco (a city with one of the highest concentration of millionaires per square-mile) they sang “In your monaco slums” ironically. A couple of international ones I’ve heard of: Opposing fans singing “Your mayor smokes crack with whores” to DC United. Chile fans singing “Lets all go to the beach” to Bolivia (whose only access to the coast was taken my Chile during a war in the 1800s) ---
**Author:** ![HubZilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ccd318/32.png) [@HubZilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HubZilla)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2007, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-football-chants/388249/9 "2007-01-17T00:53:13Z")
My Mom recalls this ditty when she went to Northwestern. The Wildcats would annually get stomped by football troglodytes the Big Ten state schools (NU is private). So they had this chant: “That’s all right, that’s okay You’ll be working for us some day” Northwestern lost 34 straight games in the late 70s, and she remembers students bringing their studies to games and spreading out on the near-empty bleachers to do work. ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2007, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-football-chants/388249/10 "2007-01-17T06:33:22Z")
The chant which turned an insult into our nickname…in response to _“one-nil to the tractor boys”_ from Liverpool fans, the north stand came out with _"I’d rather be a farmer than a thief…_" The more normal anti-Naaarich song: _Delia Smith is illegitimate Her food tastes like someone’s shat in it She’s so fat she must’ve eaten it Bring on one fat lady_ ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2007, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-football-chants/388249/11 "2007-01-17T07:21:10Z")
Music _and_ sports? I’m kicking this one over to Cafe Society. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2007, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-football-chants/388249/12 "2007-01-17T10:56:05Z")
[QUOTE=GorillaMan] The chant which turned an insult into our nickname…in response to _“one-nil to the tractor boys”_ from Liverpool fans, the north stand came out with _"I’d rather be a farmer than a thief…_" The more normal anti-Naaarich song: _Delia Smith is illegitimate Her food tastes like someone’s shat in it She’s so fat she must’ve eaten it Bring on one fat lady_ [/QUOTE] To which the Norwich boys respond with: _My old man said “Be an Ipswich fan”; I said “No! Fuck off! Bollocks! You’re a cunt! You’re a cunt, you’re a cunt, you’re a cunt…”_ etc. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Small\_Clanger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc348/32.png) [@Small\_Clanger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Small_Clanger)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2007, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-football-chants/388249/13 "2007-01-17T11:27:24Z")
Traditional Charlton Athletic chant. ‘Hate’ is pronounced 'ate with a South London glottal stop. We hate Millwall and we hate Millwall We hate Millwall and we hate Millwall We hate Millwall and we 'ate Millwall We are the Millwall – haters ---
**Author:** ![Ximenean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/aca169/32.png) [@Ximenean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ximenean)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2007, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-football-chants/388249/14 "2007-01-17T11:56:23Z")
Not exactly “genius” though, is it? ---
**Author:** ![ColonelDax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@ColonelDax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ColonelDax)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2007, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-football-chants/388249/15 "2007-01-17T12:55:11Z")
West Ham, to the tune of “That’s Amore”: “When the ball hits the net and the club’s out of debt, that’s Zamora” or “When the ball hits your head and you’re sat in Row Z, that’s Zamora” … depending on one’s feelings about a certain Hammers striker. ---
**Author:** ![garius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e19b73/32.png) [@garius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garius)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2007, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-football-chants/388249/16 "2007-01-17T13:06:26Z")
I’m quite enjoying the current one going around Arsenal fans: _Oh we’d… rather have a willie that a cunt, rather have a willie than a cunt… (etc)_ the “Willie” being William Gallas and the “cunt” being Ashley Cole. I still love the classic: _“Are you tottenham in disguise?!”_ chanted at any team playing particularly badly or after we’ve scored a decent number of goals. ---
**Author:** ![Wee\_Bairn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/90db22/32.png) [@Wee\_Bairn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wee_Bairn)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2007, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-football-chants/388249/17 "2007-01-17T14:03:09Z")
also to the tune of Yellow Submarine- “we all live in a Robbie Fowler house”, due to the strikers ownership of many many flats. ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2007, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-football-chants/388249/18 "2007-01-17T17:38:26Z")
[QUOTE=Malacandra] To which the Norwich boys respond with: _My old man said “Be an Ipswich fan”; I said “No! Fuck off! Bollocks! You’re a cunt! You’re a cunt, you’re a cunt, you’re a cunt…”_ etc. 🙂 [/QUOTE] \*When I was just a little boy I asked my mother: ‘what should I be?’ ‘Should I be City? Should I be Town?’ Here’s what she said to me: ‘Wash your mouth out son And go fetch your father’s gun We’ll go shoot some Norwich scum Shoot some Norwich scum.’ He’s only a poor little budgie His shirt is all tattered and torn He started to sing, so we filled the cunt in And now he don’t sing anymore\* Should I go on? 🙂 > [@](#): > > also to the tune of Yellow Submarine… After the Kursk sinking, there were a few chants along the lines of ‘going down like a Russian submarine’… ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2007, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-football-chants/388249/19 "2007-01-17T17:45:23Z")
Ooooh, how could I forget: _Your sister is your mother Your father is your brother You like to fuck each other The Norwich family_ Da da da dum _click click_, da da da dum _click click_… ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2007, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-football-chants/388249/20 "2007-01-17T17:56:32Z")
[QUOTE=HubZilla] My Mom recalls this ditty when she went to Northwestern. The Wildcats would annually get stomped by football troglodytes the Big Ten state schools (NU is private). So they had this chant: “That’s all right, that’s okay You’ll be working for us some day” [/QUOTE] Yep. I was going to chime in with this one (NU alum that I am). It scans better as: “That’s all right, that’s okay/You’ll all work for us some day.” We would also chant “Staaaate Schoooool” at any boneheaded play by a state school. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/genius-football-chants/388249.md?page=2)