The problem with “rom-coms” is that when they are actually funny they just call them comedies.
Mostly this. I generally dislike comedies based around embarrassment or mind-meltingly stupid coincidences, which are sadly common, at least when set in the real world. Rom-coms set in fantasy or alternate realities (lots of anime / light novel examples) at least have a pass on some of those.
But I find that a lot of rom-coms have nothing to them OTHER than the romance, with the so-called comedy coming from misunderstandings around the romance. Those are … dull in my opinion. Joe vs Volcano is an absurdist comedy with romantic moments - love it. Princess Bride is a loving, comedic send up of the fairy-tale romance tropes - love it.
But that leads us back to @JRDelirious’s point, you need to be able to sell the story/movie on it’s own merits, not just because someone wants to see a rom-com.
Another female moviegoer here butting in on the guys’ discussion, and I tend to agree with this. My standard explanation for why I’m generally uninterested in watching rom-coms goes more or less like this:
“In general, comedy is about things going wrong: mistakes, screwups, misunderstandings, etc. (Successful) love is about things going right: mutuality, partnership, understanding, etc. A playwright like Shakespeare can mash up the two in a way that makes both of them believable and meaningful. Most screenwriters are not Shakespeare.”
Still, I recognize that this view is largely just personal crotchityness and that it’s a good thing that many people can appreciate many things that I don’t. Heading for the exit now before I get booted for threadshitting! 
@Kimstu you are doing fine, at least in my opinion. As the OP, I would advise the PTB not to boot @Kimstu from this discussion. I will value her input. As I will those of other gentlemen and ladies who wish to contribute.
Actually, I like the way you put that.
I think the counter-argument is that comedy is also about heroes and villains. It matter whether it’s a good guy or a bad guy who gets hit in the face with a pie. Combining comedy with romance plays on our natural sympathies. We want the lovers to live happily ever after. It’s an easy way to establish who the good guys are, and get us rooting for them. Hilarity may then ensue.
I’ve tried to like rom-coms, but have a hard time. I find romance to be a lot more compelling when it comes in the subtext of a tragedy, war, drama or such - something very intense. The more serious, the better the romance is, IMHO.
I’ve enjoyed many romcom movies.
That said, I don’t recall ever enjoying the the romance part of any of these movies.
Mainly because they are the same story in every frickin movie. That and the romance is so far removed from reality it just gets a big “meh” from me.
A lot of my friends loved the TV show Friends, in its day, which I never much liked and did not initially understand why. I tried to like it. The actresses are beautiful, the actors charismatic, there is chemistry, and the jokes and plot ideas are reasonably clever. But I hated the laugh track and the acting was incredibly unsubtle by design; they didn’t want anyone not to get the joke. As Gladwell pointed out, the facial expressions are so extreme and unmistakable you easily understand the entire show, and every joke, even if you turn off the sound. It seemed so inauthentic to me. I wonder if the average rom-com is kind of like that too, minus the clever plot and jokes. But the best rom-coms are among the greatest movies ever.
Agreed. I would not put The Princess Bride or Groundhog Day into the rom-com category, mostly because the “rom” isn’t the main part. TPB is about “fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles.” Love is near the end. Groundhog Day is some weird sci-fi Twilight Zone-esque film about a jerk becoming a better person. Only one of the many, many things he does to better himself is romance Andie MacDowell. (we all know that buying the insurance from Ned was the thing that finally ended the cycle)
Friends without the laughter track is a little different
Mind…blown… so the insurance was the key all along! 
Yes. Anybody can kiss and cuddle. But true love means providing for your lover if something unfortunate should happen to you.
Do not like them. Usually just full of stupid cliches.
The guy who is basically a pervert stalker who keeps it up until the girl suddenly realizes just how committed he is and falls for him head over heals. No, he is just a weirdo you should have nothing to do with.
The homely loner girl who takes off her glasses and is suddenly hot like a supermodel.
People who hate each other then realizing that their hate is really just incredible hidden passion, because opposites attract. No they don’t.
The business woman who is soo involved with her career, and lonely, who finds love in the most unlikely guy.
Calling off the wedding that you have spent soo much time planning, and realizing you are only doing it for your family, and you really love the truck driver you just met.
Stupid, stupid plot lines. All basically Titanic without the freezing water.
Titanic script writers meeting. “We need something to appeal to all the guys who will be taking their wives and girlfreinds to see the movie. Well we have plenty of death and destruction, a few fights and killings, but we need something else. I know! What if they have sex in a car! Guys like cars. On a ship? Yeah we will find a way to fit it in.”
Ok, well that covers the guy appeal.
Hey, you forgot “Successful, sophisticated Big City girl goes home to the small, backwards town she left behind only to find that what she really needed was the simple life and the man who never left”.
Rom Coms are starting to grow on me. Fri and Sat nights are Netflix and Chill Date Night for my wife and I and Rom Coms are becoming a thing.
They have the advantage they are never one thing. A comedy must amuse everyone in the room, a romance must make the viewers swoon. Mix them together and it’s more like a late night variety show, almost like watching Johnny Carson. The structure is predictable, almost formulaic, but that is a strength as it is just a structure to hang jokes, some sweet moments and a nip slip or two. If the plot is bugging you then you’re doing this thing wrong. Also, because it’s predictable no one needs to pause for the bathroom or popcorn.
It’s 10 PM, I’ve had a long week, the kids are finally in bed, I’d just like to sit with my love and perhaps enjoy an evening beer buzz. Better movies can be found, but are almost certainly more complex and sometimes I just don’t have the energy.
think I saw that one…
NO!!!
(added exclamation points because “No” was too short)
That’s why I don’t usually watch action movies or horror movies. Really boring and formulaic.
I FF through fight scenes and car chases. Seen one seen nearly all of them. I did watch the entire fight scene in They Live just to be able to say I did.
Actually my jam is clever banter. If the script is good, and the acting decent, I’ll usually like it. A quibble re: my first comment – I don’t really hate any genre like some guys say they hate rom coms.
No.
But I do love Outlander, a show that could be categorized as a romance show. Big production, well acted, interesting time travel story.
But it isn’t a romantic comedy with a cute little story.