# Gentlemen: How do you wee? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 23, 2012, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-how-do-you-wee/613708 "2012-02-23T06:01:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![shijinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@shijinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shijinn)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2012, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-how-do-you-wee/613708/1 "2012-02-23T06:01:27Z")
because we must bring balance back to the force. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2012, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-how-do-you-wee/613708/2 "2012-02-23T06:17:27Z")
Too damn often! (Haven’t had an unbroken night’s sleep in over thirty years…) ---
**Author:** ![obbn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/d6d6ee/32.png) [@obbn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obbn)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2012, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-how-do-you-wee/613708/3 "2012-02-23T07:07:04Z")
:DYou left out lift leg and pee out bottom of pant leg. But I guess that is only possible for us lucky few! ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2012, 8:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-how-do-you-wee/613708/4 "2012-02-23T08:28:06Z")
Too many options. As a gentleman, I stand. 'Nuff said. ---
**Author:** ![Dervorin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Dervorin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dervorin)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2012, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-how-do-you-wee/613708/5 "2012-02-23T12:59:28Z")
I voted for everything that applies, at one time or another. That was a lot of them. ---
**Author:** ![jackdavinci](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackdavinci/32/3259_2.png) [@jackdavinci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackdavinci)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2012, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-how-do-you-wee/613708/6 "2012-02-23T13:43:32Z")
Unfortunately our toilet seat is a little too thick and therefore cannot stay upright. ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2012, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-how-do-you-wee/613708/7 "2012-02-23T13:48:59Z")
Just [like Butters](http://members.arstechnica.com/x/michaelc/butters_peeing.jpg). Pants to the ankles, hold shirt up with both hands. And I like to talk to the guys next to me while I do it. People seem to like that. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2012, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-how-do-you-wee/613708/8 "2012-02-23T13:53:54Z")
At home, I sit. It’s easier this way, what with the BPH. At the office, I stand at the urinal. ---
**Author:** ![spankthecrumpet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a87d85/32.png) [@spankthecrumpet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spankthecrumpet)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2012, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-how-do-you-wee/613708/9 "2012-02-23T13:55:06Z")
What is the last thing? I have done all but that and wiping with a tissue in my urination career. One thing you didn’t touch on is the impact of the foreskin. Especially when it has some semen there, can lead to very inconvenient trajectories and require considerable manipulation. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2012, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-how-do-you-wee/613708/10 "2012-02-23T14:29:06Z")
Stand, zipper down and unbuttoned, aim with hands (well, aim with one hand, other hand pulls the pants and underwear just slightly down and out of the way,) shake _and_ sometimes a piece of tissue (if at a toilet and not just a urinal.) It’s easier than shaking the damn thing every which way, and less likely to get splatters on the floor. And all you people unzipping but not unbuttoning…_weirdos!_ And the guys who don’t use their hands when they go at the urinal? You “arms akimbo” people? The BIGGEST weirdos! Seriously, what the Hell? It looks like you’re striking a pose in a muscle contest, arms on your hips and all…and how does your wang aim in the right direction? If I did that, I’d be pissing on my pants and the floor…are you all sporting, like, 1/4 wood or something? ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2012, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-how-do-you-wee/613708/11 "2012-02-23T18:40:25Z")
Not for nothin’, but every time I see a guy at the urinal with his pants unbuttoned and partially pulled down, it makes me think they haven’t advanced beyond childhood. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2012, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-how-do-you-wee/613708/12 "2012-02-23T19:14:13Z")
At work: I stand, unbuttoned and unzipped and yell, “OH GOD IT BURNS!!!” over and over until I have the room to myself. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2012, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-how-do-you-wee/613708/13 "2012-02-23T19:30:08Z")
I pee from a seated position, because the doctor says I’m not supposed to lift anything heavy. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2012, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-how-do-you-wee/613708/14 "2012-02-23T23:04:30Z")
However much you squirm and dance… That last drop \*always \*gets in your pants. ---
**Author:** ![shijinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@shijinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shijinn)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2012, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-how-do-you-wee/613708/15 "2012-02-24T02:21:47Z")
> [@spankthecrumpet](#): > > What is the last thing? … that’s just the ‘others’ option for the contrary. polls are funny things, atm it says that at least 4 people sit down to pee with the seat up. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2012, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-how-do-you-wee/613708/16 "2012-02-24T02:24:10Z")
> [@shijinn](#): > > that’s just the ‘others’ option for the contrary. > > polls are funny things, atm it says that at least 4 people sit down to pee with the seat up. 😃 That’s just to spite women who complain about the seat being up. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2012, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-how-do-you-wee/613708/17 "2012-02-24T02:26:15Z")
> [@obbn](#): > > You left out lift leg and pee out bottom of pant leg. But I guess that is only possible for us lucky few! On the internet, nobody knows you’re a dog. ---
**Author:** ![shijinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@shijinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shijinn)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2012, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-how-do-you-wee/613708/18 "2012-02-24T02:27:41Z")
i never understood that. do those women prefer wet seats? ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2012, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-how-do-you-wee/613708/19 "2012-02-24T02:29:11Z")
I do it just like **bouv**. Even down to the tissue if I’m at home. How does that make you feel, **bouv**? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2012, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-how-do-you-wee/613708/20 "2012-02-24T02:30:23Z")
When I get up to pee in the middle of the night and am still half asleep, I go in and sit down, so as not to miss in my semi-conscious state and have to clean it up the next day. And yes, I’ve fallen asleep. Other times standing up. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-how-do-you-wee/613708.md?page=2)