# Gentlemen of the SDMB - do you use a penis beaker?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-of-the-sdmb-do-you-use-a-penis-beaker/670900
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [October 10, 2013, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-of-the-sdmb-do-you-use-a-penis-beaker/670900 "2013-10-10T18:11:05Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 5
### Author:  [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)
#### Post date: [October 11, 2013, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-of-the-sdmb-do-you-use-a-penis-beaker/670900/81 "2013-10-11T18:55:01Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#):
>
> No. I just walk to the bathroom (we have one each).
You and your penis have separate bathrooms?
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### Author:  [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)
#### Post date: [October 11, 2013, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-of-the-sdmb-do-you-use-a-penis-beaker/670900/82 "2013-10-11T20:42:30Z")
America is decadent like that, I heard.
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### Author:  [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)
#### Post date: [October 11, 2013, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-of-the-sdmb-do-you-use-a-penis-beaker/670900/83 "2013-10-11T21:14:12Z")
[Beaker?](http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_AzbbH3Q-4cQ/TJeqNsCQGzI/AAAAAAAAAVM/SxQn5sjhaH0/s1600/beaker-muppet.jpg)
I guess if you stretch it a bit he kinda resembles one, but…
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### Author:  [@gracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gracer)
#### Post date: [October 11, 2013, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-of-the-sdmb-do-you-use-a-penis-beaker/670900/84 "2013-10-11T21:35:22Z")
> [@MrDibble](#):
>
> It gets used in South Africa occasionally, probably reinforced because it’s similar to the Afrikaans for “mug” - _beker_. But mostly, it’s cup or mug.
>
> ETA: and as **Mangetout** says, it’s specifically the handle-less reuseable kind, and it’s twee-ly dated. I associate it with kindergarten milk cups, personally.
Sorry, I was unclear: that is the part I know. I was wondering if Americans don’t use the word beaker other than in a lab?
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### Author:  [@newme](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/newme)
#### Post date: [October 11, 2013, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-of-the-sdmb-do-you-use-a-penis-beaker/670900/85 "2013-10-11T21:55:49Z")
> [@gracer](#):
>
> Sorry, I was unclear: that is the part I know. I was wondering if Americans don’t use the word beaker other than in a lab?
American here. When I hear beaker, I think of a lab beaker. That’s what came to mind when I read the OP. A non-lab beaker shaped container would usually be called a cup or a glass or a drinking glass, even when it’s made of plastic.
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### Author:  [@Bill\_Door](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_Door)
#### Post date: [October 11, 2013, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-of-the-sdmb-do-you-use-a-penis-beaker/670900/86 "2013-10-11T22:02:10Z")
No, but after the reaction I got when I wiped it off on the drapes I might consider it in the future.
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### Author:  [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)
#### Post date: [October 11, 2013, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-of-the-sdmb-do-you-use-a-penis-beaker/670900/87 "2013-10-11T22:11:16Z")
For a brief but stunning instant there, the first day this thread was up, I read that as “penis b_ **r** _eaker”.
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#):
>
> I should know better than to post in threads like this by now, but… I’m not sure I get this. Does spouse 1 lock spouse 2 in the bathroom overnight? If not, why can’t spouse 1 simply use the bathroom when spouse 2 has finished occupying it?
Same thing I thought. Or even share, have one spouse use the hand-shower and the other the bidet. Or have one use the hand-shower or bidet and the other just stand a’tiptoe and use the washbasin.
Hand towels and/or a pack of wet-wipes should do the job at bedside. Sure, in the heat of the action the flowing fluids are part of the whole show but after you stop and start cooling down it can become kind of uncomfortable.
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### Author:  [@bldysabba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bldysabba)
#### Post date: [October 12, 2013, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-of-the-sdmb-do-you-use-a-penis-beaker/670900/88 "2013-10-12T00:24:40Z")
> [@delphica](#):
>
> Just in case you haven’t, it’s worth it to click through the link (or remember when you get home to click through) because the comments are absolutely priceless. I was laughing like a crazy person after a friend shared this.
I second this recommendation, and I want that T shirt!
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### Author:  [@Arrendajo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arrendajo)
#### Post date: [October 12, 2013, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-of-the-sdmb-do-you-use-a-penis-beaker/670900/89 "2013-10-12T00:33:57Z")
Am I the only one who uses a toothbrush and powdered soap?
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### Author:  [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)
#### Post date: [October 12, 2013, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-of-the-sdmb-do-you-use-a-penis-beaker/670900/90 "2013-10-12T01:31:24Z")
> [@Arrendajo](#):
>
> Am I the only one who uses a toothbrush and powdered soap?
What! No SOS pads?
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### Author:  [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)
#### Post date: [October 12, 2013, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-of-the-sdmb-do-you-use-a-penis-beaker/670900/91 "2013-10-12T01:36:00Z")
> [@JRDelirious](#):
>
> For a brief but stunning instant there, the first day this thread was up, I read that as “penis b_ **r** _eaker”.
Thirded :::girding loins:::
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### Author:  [@nate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nate)
#### Post date: [October 12, 2013, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-of-the-sdmb-do-you-use-a-penis-beaker/670900/92 "2013-10-12T01:47:08Z")
Question for those that use tissue: doesn’t it break up or tear when you use it? I’ve always used a damp rag…
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### Author:  [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)
#### Post date: [October 12, 2013, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-of-the-sdmb-do-you-use-a-penis-beaker/670900/93 "2013-10-12T19:02:00Z")
> [@](#):
>
> We have a dedicated post-sex cleanup area on the bedside table. A box of tissues, a small bin, and a beaker of clean water for temporary cleaning/dunking while the bathroom is occupied by me.
>
> Apparently our penis beaker is strange and not the done thing.
>
> Does everyone else just lay there in a sticky post coital glow until morning? Really?
I don’t understand – unless she hibernates in the bathroom until morning, all the guy has to do is wait until she comes out, then go in and wash off.
In our house, by the way, it’s risky to have water by the bed, because we have cats. More than once I’ve been awakened by the _tip-tip-tip_ of Hestia\* delicately drinking out of the glass of water I’ve thoughtfully provided for her. Using the same tingue she uses for washing herself.
If the water is too low, cats will push their heads down into the glass to an alarming degree to get at the water
> **[cat drinking out of glass images - Yahoo Video Search Results](https://video.search.yahoo.com/search/video?p=cat%2Bdrinking%2Bout%2Bof%2Bglass%2Bimages)**
>
> The search engine that helps you find exactly what you're looking for. Find the most relevant information, video, images, and answers from all across the Web.
Besides, I’ve had to clean up water from glasses I’ve knocked over reaching for the lamp or something, on occasion.
\*for some reason it’s _always_ Hestia.
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### Author:  [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)
#### Post date: [October 12, 2013, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-of-the-sdmb-do-you-use-a-penis-beaker/670900/94 "2013-10-12T19:48:29Z")
> [@gracer](#):
>
> Sorry, I was unclear: that is the part I know. I was wondering if Americans don’t use the word beaker other than in a lab?
Just the thing in the lab and the muppet. Then again the muppet is a thing in a lab too.
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### Author:  [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)
#### Post date: [October 12, 2013, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-of-the-sdmb-do-you-use-a-penis-beaker/670900/95 "2013-10-12T20:05:21Z")
> [@gracer](#):
>
> Sorry, I was unclear: that is the part I know. I was wondering if Americans don’t use the word beaker other than in a lab?
That’s generally true, but it hardly matters in this case. I doubt if must of us use penis pitchers, penis ewers, penis bottles, penis cups OR saucers, penis glassware, penis vases, etc., either.
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### Author:  [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)
#### Post date: [October 12, 2013, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-of-the-sdmb-do-you-use-a-penis-beaker/670900/96 "2013-10-12T21:43:15Z")
> [@StrangerThanFiction](#):
>
> Anybody else using a test tube for this?
Nope, although a _teste_ tube for sanitizing the balls might be marketable.
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### Author:  [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)
#### Post date: [October 13, 2013, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-of-the-sdmb-do-you-use-a-penis-beaker/670900/97 "2013-10-13T15:38:17Z")
> [@kayaker](#):
>
> You and your penis have separate bathrooms?
Yes. Mine is smaller. 😃
> [@bldysabba](#):
>
> I second this recommendation, and I want that T shirt!
Me too. Those were hilarious. If you didn’t visit the OP’s link, do it now!
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### Author:  [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)
#### Post date: [October 14, 2013, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-of-the-sdmb-do-you-use-a-penis-beaker/670900/98 "2013-10-14T15:54:53Z")
> [@gwendee](#):
>
> This note should be fore everyone, not just yourself. For my part I had a tiny plastic cap from a glue bottle gently grasped in my lips. I nearly swallowed it when I read this:
>
> Apparently I’ve been doing it wrong for a lot of years. I don’t really get slimy. Whatever I do get is manageable on my next trip to the bathroom, but I don’t need to run right in there to “get it off get it off get it off me!”
With us, it’s less about getting it off quickly than it is about my wife’s desire to not sleep on messy sheets. Since she’s the one that does the laundry, I have no problem accommodating her.
And some people produce more bodily fluids than others, apparently.
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### Author:  [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)
#### Post date: [October 14, 2013, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-of-the-sdmb-do-you-use-a-penis-beaker/670900/99 "2013-10-14T15:57:03Z")
With me, it’s more an issue of cleaning the ceiling than cleaning the sheets. 😛
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### Author:  [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)
#### Post date: [October 14, 2013, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-of-the-sdmb-do-you-use-a-penis-beaker/670900/100 "2013-10-14T19:25:13Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#):
>
> With me, it’s more an issue of cleaning the ceiling than cleaning the sheets. 😛
Reminds me of Portnoy and the light bulb.
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