# Gentlemen of the SDMB - do you use a penis beaker?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-of-the-sdmb-do-you-use-a-penis-beaker/670900
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [October 10, 2013, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-of-the-sdmb-do-you-use-a-penis-beaker/670900 "2013-10-10T18:11:05Z")
**Posts on this page:** 10
**Page:** 6
### Author:  [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)
#### Post date: [October 14, 2013, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-of-the-sdmb-do-you-use-a-penis-beaker/670900/101 "2013-10-14T20:28:57Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#):
>
> That’s generally true, but it hardly matters in this case. I doubt if must of us use penis pitchers, penis ewers, penis bottles, penis cups OR saucers, penis glassware, penis vases, etc., either.
“The chalice with the palace holds the brew that is true but the beaker with the penis is the one that will clean us.”
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### Author:  [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)
#### Post date: [October 14, 2013, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-of-the-sdmb-do-you-use-a-penis-beaker/670900/102 "2013-10-14T20:33:56Z")
> [@Mangetout](#):
>
> I can’t even understand how a cup of water is going to be very useful in that situation.
>
> We just have an extra large towel that we throw across the bed and lie on - then there’s no hurry to deal with cleanup. Once we’re done snuggling and getting our breath back, one uses the bathroom, then the other, then the towel goes in the wash basket.
This. A towel under before you even start. And an extra hand towel for drying off on a night stand.
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### Author:  [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)
#### Post date: [October 14, 2013, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-of-the-sdmb-do-you-use-a-penis-beaker/670900/103 "2013-10-14T20:43:52Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#):
>
> “The chalice with the palace holds the brew that is true but the beaker with the penis is the one that will clean us.”
I’m trying really hard, and failing, to think of a word for “container” that rhymes with penis. 😛
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### Author:  [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)
#### Post date: [October 14, 2013, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-of-the-sdmb-do-you-use-a-penis-beaker/670900/104 "2013-10-14T21:19:38Z")
> [@TBG](#):
>
> Just the thing in the lab and the muppet. Then again the muppet is a thing in a lab too.
Sticking it into a Muppet is just… Cruel!
…even if he does run around your bathroom shouting,
“Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mee…!”
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### Author:  [@Gagundathar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gagundathar)
#### Post date: [October 14, 2013, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-of-the-sdmb-do-you-use-a-penis-beaker/670900/105 "2013-10-14T21:43:13Z")
A part of my childhood innocence has been irretrievably lost because I read this thread.
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### Author:  [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)
#### Post date: [October 14, 2013, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-of-the-sdmb-do-you-use-a-penis-beaker/670900/106 "2013-10-14T21:56:22Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#):
>
> "The chalice with the palace
You couldn’t have worked “phallus” in there?
(And a penis breaker is what cuts off the power to your penis when it’s overloaded.)
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### Author:  [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)
#### Post date: [October 14, 2013, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-of-the-sdmb-do-you-use-a-penis-beaker/670900/107 "2013-10-14T22:47:26Z")
> [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](#):
>
> You couldn’t have worked “phallus” in there?
>
> (And a penis breaker is what cuts off the power to your penis when it’s overloaded.)
Right, then:
“The Chalice with the phallus holds spew that’s from you. The beaker for the penis is the one that will clean us.”
And there’s your happy ending.
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### Author:  [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)
#### Post date: [October 16, 2013, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-of-the-sdmb-do-you-use-a-penis-beaker/670900/108 "2013-10-16T00:09:32Z")
> [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](#):
>
> (And a penis breaker is what cuts off the power to your penis when it’s overloaded.)
Around these parts we don’t have a fancy name for that, it’s just “cold shower”.
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### Author:  [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)
#### Post date: [October 16, 2013, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-of-the-sdmb-do-you-use-a-penis-beaker/670900/109 "2013-10-16T01:30:38Z")
Penis beaker? No. Todger tankard.
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### Author:  [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)
#### Post date: [October 16, 2013, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gentlemen-of-the-sdmb-do-you-use-a-penis-beaker/670900/110 "2013-10-16T11:21:55Z")
All this trouble. That dude really can’t extend to the stream of water under the sink faucet? Really…?
oh.
I dunno. Maybe if he stood up on tip-toes…? Still no…?
oh.
Ok, try squirting on a big handful of hand sanitizer & let us know how that works out…
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