# Geographical humor **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 19, 2008, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geographical-humor/460507 "2008-08-19T01:39:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![gnagtcha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@gnagtcha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnagtcha)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geographical-humor/460507/1 "2008-08-19T01:39:57Z")
Awhile back, watching the opening ceremonies for the Olympics at a friends house, the team from Turkey marched onto the field and I was reminded of a joke I heard a long time ago: if Italy attacked Turkey from the rear, would Greece help? I told this to my friends who surprised me by exploding with laughter. I thought it was an old joke and we weren’t even doing anything illegal. It got me to thinking, any other jokes that have to do with geographical locations or names of states, countries, continents? I remember something my sister told me when I was a kid that linked a lot of the states together. Something like “Who’s coming to the party? I don’t know, Alaska. And what will Delaware.” That’s all I can remember. ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geographical-humor/460507/2 "2008-08-19T01:47:02Z")
What’s the hardest job in the world? Wheeling, West Virginia ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geographical-humor/460507/3 "2008-08-19T01:51:16Z")
There are two rural towns near each other, one called Plano and the other Sandwich. My dad always joked they should build a town called Bologna in between. That’s all I got… ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geographical-humor/460507/4 "2008-08-19T02:01:41Z")
In downtown L.A. Olive and Grand are parallel streets separated by a block. One dark night there was a power outage. Popeye was feeling his way up and down Olive and thought it was Grand. From a Scholastic Press book when I was in 2nd grade, a dialog between two horrible monsters: ‘I’m Hungary!’ ‘Stop your Wales! I’ll Fiji.’ ‘I want a slice of Turkey fried in Greece.’ (Well, it was funny when I was eight.) ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geographical-humor/460507/5 "2008-08-19T02:12:51Z")
\*When the white man came up north dressed in his finest furs, he told you that he owned the land you just smiled and shrugged and you said “Ftttt… sure.” Uranium, oil, and gold Man, he took a ton of it. You asked him what was left for you and he said, “Nunavit.” Patiently you sat and you planned. Quietly you made your stand through facts and email, shaking hands. You said, “Come on whitey, give us back our land.” You wondered what could possibly become of it. “We’ll keep Canada,” he said, “and you can have Nunavit.”\* --Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie, “Nunavit.” ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geographical-humor/460507/6 "2008-08-19T02:22:57Z")
[QUOTE=gnagtcha] I remember something my sister told me when I was a kid that linked a lot of the states together. Something like “Who’s coming to the party? I don’t know, Alaska. And what will Delaware.” That’s all I can remember. [/QUOTE] “Mississippi lent Missouri her New Jersey. What will Delaware? Idaho, Alaska.” ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geographical-humor/460507/7 "2008-08-19T02:24:25Z")
What did the female potato’s t-shirt say? Idaho. (I hate that one.) ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geographical-humor/460507/8 "2008-08-19T02:26:43Z")
[QUOTE=j666] “Mississippi lent Missouri her New Jersey. What will Delaware? Idaho, Alaska.” [/QUOTE] [Delaware](http://ntl.matrix.com.br/pfilho/html/lyrics/d/delaware.txt) (Perry Como). ---
**Author:** ![Cheez\_Whia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d26b3c/32.png) [@Cheez\_Whia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheez_Whia)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geographical-humor/460507/9 "2008-08-19T02:34:08Z")
What did Tennessee? The same thing Arkansas! ---
**Author:** ![Jayn\_Newell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jayn\_Newell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jayn_Newell)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geographical-humor/460507/10 "2008-08-19T02:41:41Z")
I always liked Rick Mercer’s take on Canadian-US relations. “We’re bigger and we’re on top. If this was prison, you’d be our bitch.” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geographical-humor/460507/11 "2008-08-19T02:44:02Z")
Is there a joke about making Texas the third-largest state by cutting Alaska in half? ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geographical-humor/460507/12 "2008-08-19T03:29:35Z")
Okla-humor: Sallisaw Henryetta Waggoner Catoosa.\* (Spoken as: “Sally saw Henrietta waggin’ her Catoosa.”) \*These are all names of towns in Oklahoma. I mention this because they’re towns you probably haven’t heard of. More Okla towns you haven’t heard of: “You have to go through **Bowlegs** to get to **Maude**.” (Also heard with Idabel instead of Maude.) Hilarious, right? And not entirely true, that is, I don’t think you have to go through Bowlegs for any reason. ---
**Author:** ![gnagtcha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@gnagtcha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnagtcha)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geographical-humor/460507/13 "2008-08-19T04:33:12Z")
This is a little on the crass side. “If you see Kay”, tell her I’ll “see you in Toledo” I apologize ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geographical-humor/460507/14 "2008-08-19T04:38:26Z")
All bananas grown in Queensland are straight\*, but by the time they get down here to Sydney they’re all bent. That’s because they pack them for transport in the town of [Bendemere](http://www.bendemere.qld.gov.au/), where they … - due to local vice laws ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geographical-humor/460507/15 "2008-08-19T04:55:20Z")
[QUOTE=Johnny L.A.] Is there a joke about making Texas the third-largest state by cutting Alaska in half? [/QUOTE] No, but there is one about making Alaska the smallest state by melting all the ice. ---
**Author:** ![Indian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@Indian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indian)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geographical-humor/460507/16 "2008-08-19T05:32:39Z")
Why is Europe slippery ?? It has greece at the bottom. ---
**Author:** ![Ragiel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6de8d8/32.png) [@Ragiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ragiel)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geographical-humor/460507/17 "2008-08-19T21:44:47Z")
Where did the bigfoot go to search for Canadian relatives? Sasquatchewan! ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geographical-humor/460507/18 "2008-08-19T22:22:36Z")
Why is New Mexico so windy? Because Arizona sucks, and Texas blows. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geographical-humor/460507/19 "2008-08-19T22:42:32Z")
If you’re American in the kitchen and Asian in the living room, what are you in the bathroom? [spoiler]European _you’re a peein’ - get it?_ :D[/spoiler] ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geographical-humor/460507/20 "2008-08-19T22:49:04Z")
[QUOTE=FairyChatMom] If you’re American in the kitchen and Asian in the living room, what are you in the bathroom? [spoiler]European _you’re a peein’ - get it?_ :D[/spoiler] [/QUOTE] And on the way, you’re a Russian, and when you’re done, you’re Finnish. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geographical-humor/460507.md?page=2)