# Geology puns - help me out **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 21, 2011, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geology-puns-help-me-out/575523 "2011-03-21T22:01:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![madrabbitwoman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c37758/32.png) [@madrabbitwoman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madrabbitwoman)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2011, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geology-puns-help-me-out/575523/1 "2011-03-21T22:01:41Z")
I’m an amateur geologist who sometimes gives presentations to kids. They love it - lightning glass, dinosaur poo, volcanoes etc… Only now I’m after some ideas to make them think and then groan - Puns of course. Remember that these are for kiddies so be gneiss:D ---
**Author:** ![california\_jobcase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@california\_jobcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/california_jobcase)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2011, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geology-puns-help-me-out/575523/2 "2011-03-21T22:06:53Z")
It’s not gneiss to not give a schist? Studying volcanoes can be tuff- That’s all I have on my slate right now. ---
**Author:** ![Ludy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Ludy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludy)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2011, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geology-puns-help-me-out/575523/3 "2011-03-21T22:13:05Z")
Why it’s sedimentary, my dear Watson ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2011, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geology-puns-help-me-out/575523/4 "2011-03-21T22:13:09Z")
Is that clear thing a rock? Of Quartz it is! Don’t stop digging until you’re done, because a mine is a terrible thing to waste. ---
**Author:** ![Dinaroozie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Dinaroozie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinaroozie)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2011, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geology-puns-help-me-out/575523/5 "2011-03-21T22:14:28Z")
This is weird. Just today a facebook status of mine has randomly triggered a bunch of geology puns. So far we have something about ‘taking things for granite’, and then a remark on that being the ‘limest pun ever’. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2011, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geology-puns-help-me-out/575523/6 "2011-03-21T22:14:31Z")
> [@Ludy](#): > > Why it’s sedimentary, my dear Watson My sediments exactly. ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2011, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geology-puns-help-me-out/575523/7 "2011-03-21T22:26:37Z")
“I’m a geologist; I’ll make your bedrock.” “tuff schist” “San Andreas is not my fault.” “Bring more Geology to Missouri–subduct Kansas.” “Paleologists…helping geologists look cool since 1822.” “Did you hear about the unethical glaciologist having his hand in the till?” “Pyrites of the Caribbean” “Geologists have their faults.” “Schist happens.” “Tell her to have a gneiss day.” “Whatever you do, don’t take him for granite.” “May the quartz be with you!” ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2011, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geology-puns-help-me-out/575523/8 "2011-03-21T22:54:20Z")
[Cummingtonite](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cummingtonite). ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2011, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geology-puns-help-me-out/575523/9 "2011-03-21T23:15:07Z")
> [@Duckster](#): > > “I’m a geologist; I’ll make your bedrock.” > “tuff schist” > “San Andreas is not my fault.” > “Bring more Geology to Missouri–subduct Kansas.” > “Paleologists…helping geologists look cool since 1822.” > “Did you hear about the unethical glaciologist having his hand in the till?” > “Pyrites of the Caribbean” > “Geologists have their faults.” > “Schist happens.” > “Tell her to have a gneiss day.” > “Whatever you do, don’t take him for granite.” > “May the quartz be with you!” These are gold, Jerry. ---
**Author:** ![chacoguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/50afbb/32.png) [@chacoguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chacoguy)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2011, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geology-puns-help-me-out/575523/10 "2011-03-21T23:24:45Z")
Don’t take schist for granite. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2011, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geology-puns-help-me-out/575523/11 "2011-03-22T00:27:20Z")
When studying geology, one needs to start with a clean slate. ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2011, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geology-puns-help-me-out/575523/12 "2011-03-22T01:20:36Z")
If you don’t learn something about glaciation, it’d be a tarn shame. Cirque and ye shall find. The mayor of Pompeii met an igneous defeat, as should be apparent to any geologist worth his basalt. ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2011, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geology-puns-help-me-out/575523/13 "2011-03-22T01:32:03Z")
I realized I was getting old when a geologist dated me. ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lisa_Simpson)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2011, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geology-puns-help-me-out/575523/14 "2011-03-22T01:37:32Z")
Once you drift to geology puns you know you have hit rock bottom. ---
**Author:** ![thirdwarning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecccb3/32.png) [@thirdwarning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdwarning)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2011, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geology-puns-help-me-out/575523/15 "2011-03-22T02:18:35Z")
> [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](#): > > Once you drift to geology puns you know you have hit rock bottom. Well, maybe, but then again, geology rocks! ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2011, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geology-puns-help-me-out/575523/16 "2011-03-22T07:42:57Z")
My dad is a geologist and a punster. I must save this thread for when I must undermine his authority. He will sulphur greatly. ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2011, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geology-puns-help-me-out/575523/17 "2011-03-22T14:26:05Z")
If you hit someone with a rock, is that basalt and battery? ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2011, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geology-puns-help-me-out/575523/18 "2011-03-22T15:00:25Z")
> [@EvilTOJ](#): > > My dad is a geologist and a punster. I must save this thread for when I must undermine his authority. He will sulphur greatly. As long as he doesn’t think you’re trying to pick a quarry with him. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2011, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geology-puns-help-me-out/575523/19 "2011-03-22T15:03:07Z")
Bumper sticker: Geologists never pick their friends Porn name: Rock Hammer ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2011, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geology-puns-help-me-out/575523/20 "2011-03-22T16:49:35Z")
> [@madrabbitwoman](#): > > They love it - lightning glass, dinosaur poo, volcanoes etc… Fulgurites, coprolites, pahoehoe and aa. Jagged aa is the one that were you to walk barefoot on it you’d say “Ah ah ah ah…” Tell them about gastroliths too, stomach acid-etched round stones dinosaurs swallowed to aid with digestion much like how dove and some other birds eat gravel to help with theirs. Kids, eh? _The youngest on top is a superposition! When’s the best time to buy bullets? On ammonite!_ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geology-puns-help-me-out/575523.md?page=2)