# Geraldo Rivera brutally raped **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 12, 2012, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708 "2012-05-12T17:12:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![aldiboronti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@aldiboronti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aldiboronti)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2012, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708/1 "2012-05-12T17:12:52Z")
I can hardly bear to repeat the horrific details. My heart goes out to him, I do hope that he’s in counseling. Here’s the report but I must warn you it makes grim reading. [I was raped by the TSA says Geraldo Rivera.](http://www.infowars.com/geraldo-rivera-i-was-raped-by-the-tsa/) _Horribile dictu_, (horrid to relate), it seems that a TSA guy\* brushed up against his junk!\* How courageous of Rivera to appear on\* Fox and Friends\* and talk about his rape. An example to women everywhere! In the words of an old British newspaper editor, pass the sick bag, Alice! ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2012, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708/2 "2012-05-12T17:24:57Z")
The war on terror, thousands dead, millions displaced, trillions spent, millions of hours of peoples time wasted, little old ladies molestered left and right… If it all was just so that this could eventually happen it was worth it. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2012, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708/3 "2012-05-12T17:35:59Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > The war on terror, thousands dead, millions displaced, trillions spent, millions of hours of peoples time wasted, little old ladies molestered left and right… > > If it all was just so that this could eventually happen it was worth it. Word ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2012, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708/4 "2012-05-12T17:38:47Z")
When the TSA and Geraldo Rivera are on opposite sides of an argument, how the hell do you pick who the biggest douchebag is? ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2012, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708/5 "2012-05-12T17:41:15Z")
Its like a Chuck Norris vs Anybody Else theorectical fight debate. The answer is always obvious and always the same (even when he fights himself). ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2012, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708/6 "2012-05-12T17:43:03Z")
What the hell is this website you linked to and who are all the horrible people? ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2012, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708/7 "2012-05-12T18:01:22Z")
“Manually raped”? Hell, thats gotta be better than “automagically raped” by that african american guy who looks like he should be in a mental institution for being not quite right who is wearing a motorcycle helmet while “bzzzzting” the whole time. Bzzztttt. Automagically done. Thank you Mr. Rivera. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2012, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708/8 "2012-05-12T18:13:48Z")
Well most rapists have lost their jobs to machines. ---
**Author:** ![user\_hostile](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/user_hostile/32/474_2.png) [@user\_hostile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/user_hostile)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2012, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708/9 "2012-05-12T18:23:29Z")
On closer reading, Geraldo was dressed with his trademark silk scarf, leopard print vest, and fishnet stockings. No TSA agent could resist fondling someone like that. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2012, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708/10 "2012-05-12T18:34:55Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > What the hell is this website you linked to and who are all the horrible people? Infowars is a weirdo right wing conspiracy theorist radio show. Put it this way: the Birther nonsense is about the most mainstream stuff you’ll see there. ---
**Author:** ![Enlightening\_Meditation](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecc23a/32.png) [@Enlightening\_Meditation](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enlightening_Meditation)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2012, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708/11 "2012-05-12T18:36:04Z")
At least the TSA didn’t force Geraldo to remove his soiled diaper. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2012, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708/12 "2012-05-12T18:36:32Z")
In a related story, the TSA guy is in isolation in a hospital being observed for advanced cootie poisoning. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2012, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708/13 "2012-05-12T18:44:29Z")
> [@user\_hostile](#): > > On closer reading, Geraldo was dressed with his trademark silk scarf, leopard print vest, and fishnet stockings. > > No TSA agent could resist fondling someone like that. Are you sure it wasn’t Tim Curry? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2012, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708/14 "2012-05-12T18:47:46Z")
They could have legally given him a cavity search according to the US Supreme Court. I feel safer knowing that Geraldo isn’t carrying anything explosive up his butt, but the diarrhea that comes out his mouth is a danger to the national discourse. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2012, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708/15 "2012-05-12T18:50:49Z")
> [@The\_Second\_Stone](#): > > They could have legally given him a cavity search according to the US Supreme Court. I feel safer knowing that Geraldo isn’t carrying anything explosive up his butt, but the diarrhea that comes out his mouth is a danger to the national discourse. “Exploring The Mysteries of Geraldo Revira’s Vault” would be a great euphemism for an anal search. ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2012, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708/16 "2012-05-12T19:18:53Z")
Yeah, I know Geraldo is a poor excuse for a human being but really, if someone wants to probe my cavities so I can get on a plane, well, I’ll take the bus. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2012, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708/17 "2012-05-12T19:24:07Z")
Even if Geraldo is sitting next to you on that bus? Put that scenario in your pipe and smoke it. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2012, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708/18 "2012-05-12T19:25:59Z")
> [@user\_hostile](#): > > On closer reading, Geraldo was dressed with his trademark silk scarf, leopard print vest, and fishnet stockings. > > No TSA agent could resist fondling someone like that. Yeah, with the way he was dressed, he was basically asking for it. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2012, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708/19 "2012-05-12T19:26:55Z")
> [@kayT](#): > > Yeah, I know Geraldo is a poor excuse for a human being but really, if someone wants to probe my cavities so I can get on a plane, well, I’ll take the bus. Do you really think somebody anally probed Geraldo? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2012, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708/20 "2012-05-12T19:28:15Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Infowars is a weirdo right wing conspiracy theorist radio show. Put it this way: the Birther nonsense is about the most mainstream stuff you’ll see there. I wouldn’t tie down Alex Jones to being right wing. He hasn’t met a conspiracy theory he doesn’t like regardless of the source. George Bush was building FEMA concentration camps for example. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708.md?page=2)