# Geraldo Rivera brutally raped **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 12, 2012, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708 "2012-05-12T17:12:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![gamerunknown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6bbea6/32.png) [@gamerunknown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gamerunknown)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2012, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708/21 "2012-05-12T21:40:34Z")
Well, if he were wearing a hoodie he wouldn’t even be around to tell the tale. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2012, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708/22 "2012-05-12T21:42:13Z")
Yes he would. That stache has gotta be bullet proof. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2012, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708/23 "2012-05-13T01:12:38Z")
Well, if he didn’t want it, he shouldn’t have worn that sexy mustache! ---
**Author:** ![brittekland](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@brittekland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brittekland)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2012, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708/24 "2012-05-13T01:23:09Z")
That’s horrific… Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2012, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708/25 "2012-05-13T01:25:38Z")
Leave the mustache at home! ---
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2012, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708/26 "2012-05-13T01:26:39Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Well, if he didn’t want it, he shouldn’t have worn that sexy mustache! God damn it! I was going to make that exact same joke. ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2012, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708/27 "2012-05-13T01:40:46Z")
**Kurt Vonnegut** can finally be at peace. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2012, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708/28 "2012-05-13T01:50:05Z")
She spelled out the word junk. golly ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2012, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708/29 "2012-05-13T01:50:25Z")
Well, if you actually listen to the video, he seems to be using the term rather sarcastically. It was definitely a poor choice of words, but it looks worse in print than if you listen to him describe the incident. He’s an attention whore, though, so I’m sure he loves to have his little victim story to tell, one-upping the toddler as it were. ---
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2012, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708/30 "2012-05-13T01:53:27Z")
_Thick ropes of milky fluid flecking, then soaking into a mustache._ ---
**Author:** ![brittekland](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@brittekland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brittekland)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2012, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708/31 "2012-05-13T02:56:47Z")
Enough already. Can we bury him back now? ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2012, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708/32 "2012-05-13T05:58:41Z")
This is all so one-sided. Somebody ought to say something nice about him. Really, somebody ought to. ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2012, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708/33 "2012-05-13T06:10:40Z")
His bullet proof mustache has already been mentioned, isn’t that enough? ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2012, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708/34 "2012-05-13T06:22:50Z")
Why, yes! Yes, it is, good catch! Bombs away on Doucheistan. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2012, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708/35 "2012-05-13T06:58:36Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > This is all so one-sided. Somebody ought to say something nice about him. Really, somebody ought to. Well, he did do that Capone vault thingie live so that the whole world watching could point and laugh at the blowhard. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2012, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708/36 "2012-05-13T07:16:26Z")
Yeah, c’mon, Geraldo, when was the last time anybody touched your junk and it didn’t cost you a couple hundred bucks? ---
**Author:** ![septimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/septimus/32/410_2.png) [@septimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/septimus)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2012, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708/37 "2012-05-13T08:29:59Z")
I thought it odd that Rivera’s suggested remedy was to privatize TSA. As though it was Obama personally who wanted to rape him, but Rivera would be safe in the hands of Donald Trump or Blackwater Thugs, Inc. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2012, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708/38 "2012-05-13T14:25:26Z")
Now I’m picturing a TSA agent doing the pat-down while wearing a strap-on. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2012, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708/39 "2012-05-13T21:13:12Z")
Back when I lived in NYC, I sometimes saw Geraldo Rivera jogging in my neighborhood. From the looks of things, he never took any steps to protect his junk. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2012, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708/40 "2012-05-14T02:46:18Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Back when I lived in NYC, I sometimes saw Geraldo Rivera jogging in my neighborhood. From the looks of things, he never took any steps to protect his junk. - All I see is pork swords.\* [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/geraldo-rivera-brutally-raped/621708.md?page=3)