# Gerrymandering myself out of a great job
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gerrymandering-myself-out-of-a-great-job/429633
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [December 11, 2007, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gerrymandering-myself-out-of-a-great-job/429633 "2007-12-11T18:04:35Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2007, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gerrymandering-myself-out-of-a-great-job/429633/1 "2007-12-11T18:04:35Z")
Scene: Department head meeting. All the dept. heads around the conference room table. Big guy at the head. I’m down the other end, off to the side.
So the big guy’s going around the table, taking his weekly reports. He comes to me, so I start filling him in on redistributing manpower around the station to support the mission over the holiday season (loads of people taking vacations). To set up my report I said, “Luckily, sir, this will take a minimal amount of gerrymandering.”
He interrupted, " Why is that?!"
OK… I says to myself… that makes no sense at all. So I need clarification.
“What to you mean ‘why?,’ sir?”
“I asked you to do it.”
“I did.”
“Then why’s he involved?”
WHAT?!! Reset. Take a deep breath. Department heads are starting to look at me like I have two noses. Let’s start from the beginning…
“Sir, I took a look at our total assets by department and…”
“Hold on,” he interrupts. “Who’s meandering?”
“Sir, no one is. I’m getting to the point, I’ve got the numbers here,” I try again.
“Then who’s this you got involved?” he demands.
“Who?” I respond.
“This Jerry guy.”
CLICK.
Duh, he doesn’t know the word. Meanwhile, the other heads are about evenly divided between snickering up their sleeves knowingly and glassy-eyed oblivion.
“Sir, ‘gerrymandering’ means to manipulate numbers to get a biased result. It isn’t a guy’s name. What I’m saying is we didn’t need to do that. We have enough assets in each department.”
“Scott,” he patiently explains, “That is not a real word is it?”
“Yes, sir,” I assure him.
“I don’t believe you.”
Then the Admin Officer speaks up, “I’ve heard that word before.”
“Then how do you spell it?” the big guy challenges.
“I don’t know,” says admin. “Scott’s the one that used it.”
So in front of all the departments heads, I’m spelling gerrymander. Folks are cracking up. The big guy still doesn’t believe me. So charging ahead, I begin to explain that in the early 1800 a Mass. governor redistricted the state to get some sort of a majority. And that since one of the bastardized districts looked like a salamander, a newspaper combined the governor’s name – Edward _Gerry_ – with sala_mander_ to coin a derogatory word to describe the practice…
By now, the hole I was digging was 12-foot deep. I’d struck water and was drowning.
“Scott, see me after the meeting… and bring a dictionary.”
So after all that, the final three department heads just had to work the word “gerrymander” into their reports. And after each ‘gerrymander,’ hilarity ensued at my expense.
Curses on my vocabulary and my geeky etymologic-self.
BTW, he liked the report. Lemme go back and make sure Jerry Mandering is assigned a position, though.
---
### Author:  [@cards](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cards)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2007, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gerrymandering-myself-out-of-a-great-job/429633/2 "2007-12-11T18:10:28Z")
Be sure to let us know his reaction to seeing it in the dictionary.
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### Author:  [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2007, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gerrymandering-myself-out-of-a-great-job/429633/3 "2007-12-11T18:13:33Z")
Next time you’re going to use cromulent, right? 🙂
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### Author:  [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2007, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gerrymandering-myself-out-of-a-great-job/429633/4 "2007-12-11T18:17:24Z")
Next time you should add “manners” and claim it stands for “man hours” - then work \*that \* into Gerrymandering.
Seriously, though, that was really funny. I’m sorry it happened to you, but damn did I get a laugh.
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### Author:  [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2007, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gerrymandering-myself-out-of-a-great-job/429633/5 "2007-12-11T18:19:42Z")
> [@](#):
>
> **Originally posted by Quartz:**
> _Next time you’re going to use cromulent, right?_
That would be impocerous!
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### Author:  [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2007, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gerrymandering-myself-out-of-a-great-job/429633/6 "2007-12-11T18:44:01Z")
And that’s what you get for looking smarter than your boss.
By the way, the Mass. Governor was actually Elbridge Gerry, not Edward. But your boss probably won’t believe that’s a real name, so you may as well skip it.
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### Author:  [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2007, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gerrymandering-myself-out-of-a-great-job/429633/7 "2007-12-11T18:48:59Z")
Because I can:
He makes more money than you.
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### Author:  [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2007, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gerrymandering-myself-out-of-a-great-job/429633/8 "2007-12-11T19:12:56Z")
Please please please don’t use niggardly in a meeting.
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### Author:  [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2007, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gerrymandering-myself-out-of-a-great-job/429633/9 "2007-12-11T19:20:04Z")
I think you and Jerry should have the same SSN and you should get his pay.
StG
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### Author:  [@MikeG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MikeG)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2007, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gerrymandering-myself-out-of-a-great-job/429633/10 "2007-12-11T19:27:45Z")
Your excellent vocabulary embiggens us all.
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### Author:  [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2007, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gerrymandering-myself-out-of-a-great-job/429633/11 "2007-12-11T19:41:13Z")
Absolutely effulgent!
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### Author:  [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2007, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gerrymandering-myself-out-of-a-great-job/429633/12 "2007-12-11T19:43:03Z")
You need to start talking about the new three hundred and forty four millimeter Lepage glue gun. “It glues a whole formation of planes together in mid-air.”
Stranger
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### Author:  [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2007, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gerrymandering-myself-out-of-a-great-job/429633/13 "2007-12-11T19:46:59Z")
You should buy your boss one of those word-a-day calendars for Christmas!
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### Author:  [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2007, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gerrymandering-myself-out-of-a-great-job/429633/14 "2007-12-11T20:06:10Z")
You should apologize and tell him you are inuspeptic, frasmotic, and even compunctious to have caused him such pericumbobulations.
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### Author:  [@Flander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flander)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2007, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gerrymandering-myself-out-of-a-great-job/429633/15 "2007-12-11T20:11:09Z")
> [@](#):
>
> So after all that, the final three department heads just had to work the word “gerrymander” into their reports.
This is classic. I would totally do this, too.
The next person who says “shenanigans…”
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### Author:  [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2007, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gerrymandering-myself-out-of-a-great-job/429633/16 "2007-12-11T20:14:23Z")
So…
I brought the dictionary to his office and showed him the entry for gerrymandering. He took the book, read the entry, handed it back and said… wait for it…
“Well, I’ve never heard that word before. Don’t use it.”
OK… what are your feelings on the word ‘asshole?’
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### Author:  [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2007, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gerrymandering-myself-out-of-a-great-job/429633/17 "2007-12-11T20:14:32Z")
The funny thing is, apparently his name was pronounced with a hard G, and somehow it got switched when the word was made.
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### Author:  [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2007, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gerrymandering-myself-out-of-a-great-job/429633/18 "2007-12-11T20:18:29Z")
[QUOTE=ChiefScott]
“Well, I’ve never heard that word before. Don’t use it.”
[/QUOTE]
Ask him for a list of all the other words you can’t use because he’s never heard of them.
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### Author:  [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2007, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gerrymandering-myself-out-of-a-great-job/429633/19 "2007-12-11T20:18:34Z")
[QUOTE=ChiefScott]
"Sir, ‘gerrymandering’ means to manipulate numbers to get a biased result.
[/QUOTE]
I can’t find a single definition online to support this, nor does my _Webster’s Third International_. Gerrymandering refers to drawing or redrawing of political boundaries, not the manipulation of numbers.
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### Author:  [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2007, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gerrymandering-myself-out-of-a-great-job/429633/20 "2007-12-11T20:22:55Z")
Well, the purpose of drawing and redrawing those political boundaries is to manipulate the information within those boundaries to bias the result of the information. For instance, no one moves into or out of a county but they redraw the boundaries so that the county is primarily republican/hispanic/male/under 40/etc. They are manipulating the number of republicans/hispanics/males/people under 40/etc within the boundary by changing the boundary.
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