# Get Behind Me Fenris!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-behind-me-fenris/107727
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [May 7, 2002, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-behind-me-fenris/107727 "2002-05-07T15:36:32Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Trion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trion)
#### Post date: [May 7, 2002, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-behind-me-fenris/107727/1 "2002-05-07T15:36:32Z")
It is with a heavy heart that I post this. But for the sake of the Teeming Millions, I feel I must.
I originally became concerned when I read of Fenris’ attempt to become [the new Cecil.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=106495) At first I considered it nothing more than an attempt at humor, but slowly the blasphemy of the act began to gnaw at me. I understand that he claims that he only wishes to become Cecil’s Metatron. I started to suspect that he wished for more.
As I meditated on my disquiet, I remembered the [Origin Stories of the moderators](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=55501). Was this more humor, or something more sinister. As I read the tales, I was shocked by what I saw. They were flattery of an almost unholy sort. Beautiful words whispered into the ears of each of our moderators in turn. Designed to turn their hearts and minds from Cecil to Fenris himself.
And then it struck me. Virtually all of Fenris’ posts are filled with beautiful lies. There is no SDMB One Trick Pony Chowder and Marching Society. Fenris has not had sex with Englebert Humperdink. These are carefully constructed posts, pleasing to the eye of mortal man, yet filled with the rotten core of falsehood.
Turning my attention away from the Straight Dope for the time being, I began to research. As most of you know already, the name Fenris is from Norse mythology. Fenris is the great and terrible wolf, child of Loki, the trickster god. But there are other, more frightening signs.
I’ve heard various unconfirmed reports of Ouija boards up and down the eastern seaboard randomly spelling out 01252000 - Fenris’ registration date!
When I play my Beatles White Album backwards, in various places I can clearly hear “Turn me on dead Fenris.”
In the movie “The Omen” when Damien is on screen, there is a brief subliminal flash of Fenris’ image. This same ghostly image can be seen behind Ted Danson in the movie “Three Men and a Baby” and again hanging himself in “The Wizard of Oz”.
When I had gathered all this information, the scales fell from my eyes. I saw Fenris as he truly was and I can remain silent no longer. I don’t expect anyone to believe me, for Fenris’ words are too pleasant. But I shall make my feelings known.
For those few who read these words and can appreciate the message, I ask of you these questions:
Do you reject Fenris?
And all his posts?
And all his empty messages?
If you answered “yes” to these question, then repeat the following to yourself:
“Get behind me, Fenris! You are a stumbling block to Me; you do not have in mind the things of Cecil, but the things of the Teeming Millions!”
---
### Author:  [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)
#### Post date: [May 7, 2002, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-behind-me-fenris/107727/2 "2002-05-07T15:44:01Z")
Fenris with a blue dress.
The Fenris you say.
The Fenris made me do it.
Sympathy for the Fenris?
---
### Author:  [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)
#### Post date: [May 7, 2002, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-behind-me-fenris/107727/3 "2002-05-07T16:27:03Z")
Dance with the **Fenris**.
Between the **Fenris** and the deep blue sea.
Needs must, when the **Fenris** drives.
Speak of the **Fenris**.
Idle hands are the workshop of **Fenris**.
---
### Author:  [@DMC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMC)
#### Post date: [May 7, 2002, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-behind-me-fenris/107727/4 "2002-05-07T16:37:32Z")
I’m going to have to disagree, but I’m just playing Fenris’ advocate.
---
### Author:  [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)
#### Post date: [May 7, 2002, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-behind-me-fenris/107727/5 "2002-05-07T16:43:04Z")
> [@](#):
>
> _originally posted by Trion_
> “Get behind me, Fenris! You are a stumbling block to Me; you do not have in mind the things of Cecil, but the things of the Teeming Millions!”
:eek: **Fenris** wants my stuff?
---
### Author:  [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)
#### Post date: [May 7, 2002, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-behind-me-fenris/107727/6 "2002-05-07T16:54:32Z")
Beware, ye unhallowed souls, of Fenris, devourer of the sun!
The Beast is loose, unfettered, and hungry; it has tasted the flesh of gods.
Fear his teeth, crushers of steel and bone!
Fear his howl, destroyer of hope!
His eyes see all who hide, his claws catch all who run; his hide is soaked with the blood of champions.
Know then, mortals, that the the death of the world is upon us, that what was will be no more and what will be is oblivion, and the abyss.
The Wolf is coming, with winter at his heels.
---
### Author:  [@Arwen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arwen)
#### Post date: [May 7, 2002, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-behind-me-fenris/107727/7 "2002-05-07T17:03:16Z")
Do not believe this blasphemy! **Trion** is trying yo lead you away from The Good Path. Read it for yourself and see:
[http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=106495](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=106495)
---
### Author:  [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)
#### Post date: [May 7, 2002, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-behind-me-fenris/107727/8 "2002-05-07T17:13:17Z")
Behold! I am become **Fenris** , destroyer of worlds…!
---
### Author:  [@Aristides](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aristides)
#### Post date: [May 7, 2002, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-behind-me-fenris/107727/9 "2002-05-07T17:19:24Z")
OK we need womens wiskers, Check.
Help me out here! I know there is more to make the rope to bind him.
---
### Author:  [@DPWhite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DPWhite)
#### Post date: [May 7, 2002, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-behind-me-fenris/107727/10 "2002-05-07T17:21:11Z")
With apologies/thanks to Robert Hunter, I present the Fenris Theme song:
[http://www.dead.net/RobertHunterArchive/files/lyrics/teleprompter.html#anchor4167805](http://www.dead.net/RobertHunterArchive/files/lyrics/teleprompter.html#anchor4167805)
---
### Author:  [@Dragonblink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragonblink)
#### Post date: [May 7, 2002, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-behind-me-fenris/107727/11 "2002-05-07T17:42:44Z")
Well aren’t you a sly little **Fenris** …
Let’s see, bell, book, candle … oh wait, that’s for banishing _me_!
---
### Author:  [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)
#### Post date: [May 7, 2002, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-behind-me-fenris/107727/12 "2002-05-07T17:45:24Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Aristides \*
> \*\*OK we need womens wiskers, Check.
> Help me out here! I know there is more to make the rope to bind him. \*\*
The rope Gleipnir that binds foul **Fenris** was made from the sound a cat makes when it moves, a woman’s beard, the roots of a mountain, the sinews of a bear, the breath of a fish and a bird’s spittle. Gleipnir is tied to a chain called Gelgja, and Gelgja is tied to a boulder called Gjoll, which the Gods drove one mile into the earth before placing an even larger boulder called Thviti on top of Gjoll.
(Note that **Fenris** claims to be located in Asgard, when in reality he has been bound on the island of Lyngvi in the middle of Lake Amsvartnir for lo these many centuries.)
As further testament to the depths of **Fenris’s** iniquity, he not only maimed Tyr by biting his hand off, but he is also the one who will swallow and slay Odin All-Father come Ragnarok.
---
### Author:  [@Trion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trion)
#### Post date: [May 7, 2002, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-behind-me-fenris/107727/13 "2002-05-07T17:45:38Z")
**Arwen** , I posted a link to that thread myself. Besides, even **Fenris** may quote scripture.
---
### Author:  [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)
#### Post date: [May 7, 2002, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-behind-me-fenris/107727/14 "2002-05-07T18:17:38Z")
and let’s just hope that **Fenris** doesn’t do vanity searches.
:eek: :eek: :eek:
---
### Author:  [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)
#### Post date: [May 7, 2002, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-behind-me-fenris/107727/15 "2002-05-07T19:08:10Z")
You’ve all missed the truth. Like all great truths it is at once well hidden and in plain sight.
**Fenris IS Cecil**
For is it not written
“and yea, the Son shall enter through the portal called the Eye of the Needle riding upon a One Trick Pony.”
and “None shall enter the Kingdom of the Straight Dope but through me.”
and "Together the Son of Cec and Paul-ycarp walked upon the water, But, Paul-ycarp did err in his Vb coding and fall. And Fenris said unto him ‘Why didst thou not preview?’ "
The Uncle, the Son, and the Holy Message Board
Being the Dope, and Bearing the Dope, and Bearin Witness to the Dope.
```
Circle upon circle, thread without end, Hallelujah!!!!
```
---
### Author:  [@Myrnalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrnalene)
#### Post date: [May 7, 2002, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-behind-me-fenris/107727/16 "2002-05-07T23:47:52Z")
Burn the heretic!
---
### Author:  [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)
#### Post date: [May 8, 2002, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-behind-me-fenris/107727/17 "2002-05-08T00:24:51Z")
**[Fenris]**
_ **HAW! HAW! HAW!** _
**[Fenris]**
---
### Author:  [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)
#### Post date: [May 8, 2002, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-behind-me-fenris/107727/18 "2002-05-08T00:26:06Z")
[sub] **Fenris** screwed up my coding.[/sub]
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### Author:  [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)
#### Post date: [May 8, 2002, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-behind-me-fenris/107727/19 "2002-05-08T00:31:15Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Colibri \*
> \*\*
> he is also the one who will swallow and slay Odin All-Father come Ragnarok. \*\*
Actually, we’re just friends.
Fenris, bemused
---
### Author:  [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)
#### Post date: [May 8, 2002, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-behind-me-fenris/107727/20 "2002-05-08T20:08:27Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Dijon Warlock \*
> \*\***[Fenris]**
>
> _ **HAW! HAW! HAW!** _
>
> **[Fenris]** \*\*
You’ll summon Uncle Bob!
[sub] and that faceless guy in the throne.[/sub]
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