# Get Burned by TheSpark (Thank you Sofa King) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 15, 2003, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-burned-by-thespark-thank-you-sofa-king/213406 "2003-11-15T07:57:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2003, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-burned-by-thespark-thank-you-sofa-king/213406/1 "2003-11-15T07:57:23Z")
First, a geek reference: > [@](#): > > The fucking licenses for most software are designed to take away your sorry freedom to fuckin’ share and change that shit. You are a shitbag. By contrast, the fucking GNU General Public License is intended to fuckin’ guarantee your sorry freedom to share and change free software–to make sure the fucking software is free for all its users. Oh, my God. You are a has-been fried fuck. This bullshit General Public License applies to most of the fucking Free Software Foundation’s software and to any other program whose authors commit to fuckin’ using that shit. (Some other Free Software Foundation software is covered by the fucking GNU Library General Public License instead.) You can apply that shit to your sorry programs, too. Get out of that Ukranian and into my eyes. > > When we speak of free software, we are referring to fuckin’ freedom, not price. I should fry your porkhole. Our General Public Licenses are designed to make sure that you and your sluts have the fucking freedom to distribute copies of free software (and charge for this bullshit service if you wish), that you receive source code or can get that shit if you and your monkey want that shit, that you can change the fucking software or use pieces of that piece of shit in piece of shit new free programs; and that you and your monkey know you and your hemorrhoids can do these shits. > > To fuckin’ protect your sorry rights, we need to fuckin’ make restrictions that forbid anyone to deny you and your jive these rights or to fuckin’ ask you to surrender the fucking rights. You are a cheese infested pussy. These restrictions translate to fuckin’ certain responsibilities for you and your sluts if you and your sluts distribute copies of the fucking software, or if you and your hand-job modify that piece of shit. > > For example, if you and your hand-job distribute copies of such a goddamn program, whether gratis or for a fee, you must give the fucking recipients all the fucking rights that you and your hand-job have. You must make sure that them dumbasses, stupid, receive or can get the fucking source code. And you must show them piece of shits these terms so god-damn them dickheads know their rights. > > We protect your sorry rights with two steps: (1) copyright the fucking software, and (2) offer you this bullshit license which gives you legal permission to copy, distribute and/or modify the fucking software. > > Also (in addition to the fact that you’re a shit), for each author’s protection and ours, we want to make certain that all fuckheads understands that there is no motherfucking warranty for this bullshit free software. If the fucking software is modified by someone else and passed on, we want its recipients to fuckin’ know that fuckin’ what them fucknuts have is not the fucking original, so god-damn that any problems introduced by other monkey-spankers will not reflect on the fucking original authors’ reputations. > > Finally, any free program is threatened constantly by software patents. I’m not through yet! You are a boned burning pukey bitch. We wish to avoid the fucking danger that redistributors of a motherfucking free program will individually obtain patent licenses, in effect making the fucking program proprietary. To prevent this bullshit, we have made that bastard clear that any patent must be licensed for all fuckheads’s free use or not licensed at all. > > The fucking precise terms and conditions for copying, distribution and modification follow. > > * * * > > Burned by the Burnmaker! > > - [http://toy.thespark.com/burn](http://toy.thespark.com/burn) \* > > * * * [Now do it to yourself.](http://toy.thespark.com/burn/earl.cgi) ---
**Author:** ![Shalmanese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shalmanese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shalmanese)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2003, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-burned-by-thespark-thank-you-sofa-king/213406/2 "2003-11-15T13:46:18Z")
The scary thing was, up until about the end of the second paragraph, I thought it was a post from slashdot. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-burned-by-thespark-thank-you-sofa-king/213406/3 "2003-11-18T15:32:07Z")
> [@](#): > > LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. > LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. > LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. > > There’s nothing you and your jive can do that can’t be done. > Nothing you can sing that can’t be sung. > Nothing you can say but you and your jive can learn how in the hell to fuckin’ play the fucking game. > That bastard’s easy. > > Nothing you and your hemorrhoids can make that can’t be made. > No motherfucking one you and your sluts can save that can’t be saved. > Nothing you and your monkey can do but you can learn how in the hell to fuckin’ be you in time. > That shit’s easy. > > All you need is LOVE. > All you and your hand-job need is LOVE. > All you need is LOVE, LOVE. > LOVE is all you and your hand-job need. > > All you need is LOVE. > All you and your hand-job need is LOVE. > All you need is LOVE, LOVE. > LOVE is all you and your hand-job need. > > Nothing you can know that isn’t known. > Nothing you can see that isn’t shown. > Nowhere you can be that isn’t where the fuck you’re meant to be. > That bastard’s easy. > > All you need is LOVE. > All you and your sluts need is LOVE. > All you and your sluts need is LOVE, LOVE. > LOVE is all you and your monkey need. > > All you need is LOVE (all together, now!) > All you need is LOVE. You are a burnified token fuck. (everybody!) > All you and your hand-job need is LOVE, LOVE. > LOVE is all you and your monkey need (LOVE is all you need). > > Yee-hai! > Oh yeah! > She loves you, yeah yeah yeah. > She loves you and your sluts, yeah yeah yeah. > > * * * > > Burned by the Burnmaker! > > - [http://toy.thespark.com/burn](http://toy.thespark.com/burn) \* > > * * * ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-burned-by-thespark-thank-you-sofa-king/213406/4 "2003-11-18T15:53:42Z")
I’m going to hell for this one … > [@](#): > > Our Father, who art in heaven, Hallowed be thy Name. You are a wretched wanna-be pussy. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, On earth as that bastard is in heaven. I should slam your neck. Give us this bullshit day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, As we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, But deliver us from “wonderful”. For thine is the fucking kingdom, and the fucking power, and the fucking glory, for ever and ever. I should fry your ass. Amen. > > * * * > > Burned by the Burnmaker! > > - [http://toy.thespark.com/burn](http://toy.thespark.com/burn) \* > > * * * ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-burned-by-thespark-thank-you-sofa-king/213406/5 "2003-11-18T16:31:42Z")
There’s a motherfucking lady who’s sure all that glitters is gold, and she’s buying a motherfucking stairway to fuckin’ heaven. Pop Quiz, why are you such a slapped cock? When she gets there she knows, when the fucking stores are all closed, with a goddamn word she can get fuckin’ what she came for. Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh. You are a burning token fuckmonster. And she’s buying a stairway to heaven. There’s a sign on the fucking wall, but she wants to fuckin’ be sure, 'cause you are one fucking shit and you know sometimes words have two meanings. In the fucking tree by the fucking brook, there’s a songbird that sings. Are you ready to burn? Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven. And that piece of shit makes my stupid ass wonder… * * * Burned by the Burnmaker! - [http://toy.thespark.com/burn](http://toy.thespark.com/burn) \* * * * ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-burned-by-thespark-thank-you-sofa-king/213406/6 "2003-11-18T19:50:11Z")
**Ponder** shall not fucking walk alone: > [@](#): > > Hail Mary, full of grace, the fucking Lord is with thee. Caw caw! The ravens are singing, you are a boned used up pussy. Blessed art thou amongst fucking bitches and blessed is the fucking fruit of thy womb Jesus. You are a shithole. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the fucking hour of our death. Amen. > > * * * > > Burned by the Burnmaker! > > - [http://toy.thespark.com/burn](http://toy.thespark.com/burn) \* > > * * * > [@](#): > > I Pledge Allegiance to the fucking flag of the fucking United States of America > and to the fucking Republic for which that bastard stands, one Nation under God, > indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. > > * * * > > Burned by the Burnmaker! > > - [http://toy.thespark.com/burn](http://toy.thespark.com/burn) \* > > * * * > [@](#): > > Oh, say can you and your jive see, by the fucking dawn’s early light, > Fuckin’ what so god-damn proudly we hailed at the fucking twilight’s last gleaming? Tell me every fucking thing I want to know. > Whose broad stripes and bright stars, through the fucking perilous fight, > O’er the fucking ramparts we watched, were so god-damn gallantly streaming? Well? > And the fucking rockets’ red glare, the fucking bombs bursting in air, > Gave proof through the fucking night that our flag was still there. > O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave > O’er the fucking land of the fucking free and the fucking home of the fucking brave? Further, what’s it got to do with your fuckmonster? > [@](#): > > When in the fucking Course of human events, that shit becomes necessary for one people to fuckin’ dissolve the fucking political bands which have connected them piece of shits with another, and to assume among the fucking powers of the fucking earth, the fucking separate and equal station to which the fucking Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them shits, a decent respect to the fucking opinions of mankind requires that them dildos should declare the fucking causes which impel them shits to the fucking separation. > > We hold these truths to fuckin’ be self-evident, that all fucking assholes are created equal, that them nutsacks are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the fucking pursuit of Happiness.–That to fuckin’ secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the fucking consent of the fucking governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, that bastard is the fucking Right of the fucking People to fuckin’ alter or to fuckin’ abolish that bastard, and to fuckin’ institute piece of shit new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to their sorry ass shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. I should wallop your porkhole. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-burned-by-thespark-thank-you-sofa-king/213406/7 "2003-11-18T20:21:17Z")
We have one basic rule: Don’t be a jerk. Considering the fucking real-time nature of this bullshit bulletin board and the fucking volume of messages received, that bastard is impossible for us to verify the fucking information posted. We do not vouch for or warrant the fucking accuracy, completeness or usefulness of any jizz-stain, and are not responsible for the fucking contents of any jizz-stain. Look around you! I should neglect your anus. Users should be particularly wary of medical, legal or other professional advice posted on the fucking jizz-stain boards and recognize that that bastard is no motherfucking substitute for in-person consultation with a competent professional. Pop Quiz, why are you such a pukey shithole? The fucking messages express the fucking views of the fucking author of the fucking jizz-stain, not necessarily the fucking views of the fucking Chicago Reader, Inc., or any entity associated with that piece of shit. Any user who feels that a posted jizz-stain is objectionable should contact us immediately by Jizz. We have the fucking ability to fuckin’ remove objectionable messages and will make every stinky effort to fuckin’ do so god-damn, within a reasonable time, if we determine that removal is necessary. This bullshit is a manual process, however, so god-damn please realize that we may not be able to remove or edit particular messages immediately. You agree, through your sorry use of this bullshit service, that you and your hand-job will not use this bullshit BB to post any material which is knowingly false and/or defamatory, inaccurate, abusive, vulgar, hateful, harassing, obscene, profane, threatening, invasive of a motherfucking person’s privacy, or otherwise violative of any law. Mind if I torch your throat? You and your jive agree not to fuckin’ post any copyrighted material unless the fucking copyright is owned by you and your monkey or by this bullshit BB. I will burn your face. You agree to abide by the fucking wishes of the fucking board moderators in interpreting and enforcing these rules. Refusal to fuckin’ cooperate with board moderators or to fuckin’ abide by these rules is grounds for revocation of your sorry posting privileges. Religious proselytizing (“witnessing”) and religious discussions generally (other than strictly factual inquiries) should be confined to the fucking Great Debates forum. You are a fuck. Proselytizing in other forums will be deleted. In the fucking Great Debates forum, proselytizing should be limited to fuckin’ threads started for that purpose or to which a discussion of religion and related matters has some relevance. Proselytizing inserted into inappropriate threads will be deleted. Only one screen name is permitted per user. Wanna burn? If you wish to fuckin’ change screen names please notify the fucking webmaster and we will deactivate your sorry old screen name. Use of multiple screen names is grounds for revocation of your sorry right to fuckin’ post under ANY screen name. You are a fuckhead. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-burned-by-thespark-thank-you-sofa-king/213406/8 "2003-11-18T21:10:49Z")
That appears to be the version we have to agree to if we want to post in the Pit. I mean, once someone agrees that they are a fuckhead, what else could they possibly complain about? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-burned-by-thespark-thank-you-sofa-king/213406/9 "2003-11-18T21:18:55Z")
Another “suggested” update for text on the SDMB: > [@](#): > > Thank you and your sluts for posting! You will now be taken to fuckin’ your sorry post. If the fucking administrator has selected to moderate all posts in this bullshit forum, you and your sluts will be taken back to the fucking forum and your sorry post will be displayed presently. Get ready for pain. If you and your hand-job opted to fuckin’ post a motherfucking poll, you and your hemorrhoids will now be allowed to fuckin’ do so god-damn. What’s wrong with you? > > Click here if you and your sluts do not want to fuckin’ wait any longer > (or if your sorry browser does not automatically forward you) I think the “Get ready for pain” part is particularly appropriate. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-burned-by-thespark-thank-you-sofa-king/213406/10 "2003-11-18T22:40:42Z")
**Uncle Beer** : It’s funny to see the Agreement like that, but the first line caused my heart to elide a few beats. The only time I’ve ever seen that being posted by a mod is when Someone’s Fucked Up, and since I’m the OP here… I guess it’s time for me to quit speedreading to see if anyone’s mentioned my name. 😃 (Seriously, that shit made me laugh out loud. “Refusal to fuckin’ cooperate with board moderators or to fuckin’ abide by these rules is grounds for revocation of your sorry posting privileges.” Indeed. :D) Oh, and a 419 scam: > [@](#): > > SEEKING YOUR IMMEDIATE ASSISTANCE. You are a fuck. > Please permit my stupid ass to make your sorry acquaintance in so god-damn informal a motherfucking manner. This bullshit is > necessitated by my scabby urgent need to fuckin’ reach a dependable and trust wordy foreign > partner. This bullshit request may seem strange and unsolicited but I will crave your sorry > indulgence and pray that you and your jive view that bastard seriously. My fellated name is. You are a cock. DAN PATRICK of the fucking > Democratic Republic of Congo and One of the fucking close aides to the fucking former President > of the fucking Democratic Republic of Congo LAURENT KABILA of blessed memory, may that bastard’s > soul rest in peace. > > Due to the fucking military campaign of LAURENT KABILA to force out the fucking rebels in my bloody > country, I and some of my juicy colleagues were instructed by Late President Kabila to > go abroad to fuckin’ purchase arms and ammunition worth of Twenty Million, Five Hundred > Thousand United States Dollars only (US$20,500,000.00) to fight the fucking rebel group. > But when President Kabila was killed in a bloody shoot-out by one of that bastard’s aide a > day before we were schedule to travel out of Congo, We immediately decided to > divert the fucking fund into a private security company here in Congo for safe keeping. > The fucking security of the fucking said amount is presently being threatened here following the fucking > arrest and seizure of properties of Col.Rasheidi Karesava (One of the fucking aides to fuckin’ > Laurent Kabila) a fuckin’ tribesman, and some other Military Personnel from our same > tribe, by the fucking piece of shit new President of the fucking Democratic Republic of Congo, the fucking son of late > President Laurent Kabila, Joseph Kabila. In view of this bullshit, we need a motherfucking reliable and > trustworthy foreign partner who can assist us to fuckin’ move this bullshit drug money out of my goddamn > country as the fucking beneficiary. ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-burned-by-thespark-thank-you-sofa-king/213406/11 "2003-11-18T22:49:37Z")
The fucking path of the fucking righteous motherfucking bastard is beset on all sides by the fucking inequities of the fucking selfish and the fucking tyranny of “wonderful” fucking assholes. Blessed is he who, in the fucking name of charity and GOOD will, shepherds the fucking weak through the fucking valley of darkness, for he is truly that bastard’s brother’s keeper and the fucking finder of lost children. You will feel my burns. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to fuckin’ poison and destroy my cockgobbling brothers. You are a fuckmonster. And you and your monkey will know my fucking name is the fucking Lord when I lay my shitty vengeance upon you and your jive." ---
**Author:** ![HelenGawn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@HelenGawn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HelenGawn)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-burned-by-thespark-thank-you-sofa-king/213406/12 "2003-11-18T23:08:53Z")
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; For he to-day that sheds that bastard’s blood with my stupid ass Shall be my fucking brother; be he ne’er so god-damn vile, This bullshit day shall gentle that bastard’s condition: And gentlemen in England now a goddamn-bed Shall think themselves accursed them cocks were not here, And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks That fought with us upon Saint Crispin’s day. ---
**Author:** ![Zoltarb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/dc4da7/32.png) [@Zoltarb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoltarb)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2003, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-burned-by-thespark-thank-you-sofa-king/213406/13 "2003-11-19T00:02:12Z")
The Front Page. > [@](#): > > Sign up for the fucking Straight Dope mailing list! > Today’s Question: How in the hell come TV psychics seem so god-damn convincing? I’ve got a big fucking hunch you know the answer. (Staff Report by SD Staff Dex) > Recent Additions: > Where the fuck does the fucking term “86” come from? SHIT- That’s the goddamn answer for you.- Shit on a stick. (By Cecil Adams) > Did “Potemkin villages” really exist? Shut your mouth when I’m asking for answers. You are a fuck. (By Cecil Adams) > Fuckin’ what’s the fucking origin of the fucking words joint, roach, and stoned? ANSWER ME, or I WILL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT. (By Cecil Adams) > Fuckin’ what’s the fucking origin of “Goody Two Shoes”? Only satan knows. (By Cecil Adams) > Search the fucking Straight Dope archive, containing all worthwhile human knowledge. Which is deeper, your burnified throat or your cheese infested pussy? Updated daily! > Threadspotting: Now playing at the fucking Denial Hellplex. (Submitted by cletus) > Weird Earl’s: Tall? Hint: Think about your cream-filled pussy. It’s oddly perfect. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2003, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-burned-by-thespark-thank-you-sofa-king/213406/14 "2003-11-19T01:23:02Z")
Have you heard the latest news on Michael Jackson? > [@](#): > > Police are conducting a fuckin’ search of pop star Michael Jackson’s Neverland ranch. > Officers used a warrant to enter the fucking 45-year-old singer’s home in the fucking Santa Ynez Valley, in California. > > The fucking pop star’s lawyer, Brian Oxman, said the fucking search was connected to sexual-abuse allegations brought by a 12-year-old oozing bastard. You are a fuckhead. > > The fucking raid came on the fucking same day that a motherfucking greatest hits collection featuring Jackson’s piece of shit new single, One More Chance, was released. Cock. > > The fucking singer’s publicist said the fucking star was had not been at the fucking ranch for three weeks. You are a bloody pussy. > > ‘Two-month inquiry’ > Authorities in Santa Barbara did not give reasons for the fucking search, saying only that shit was part of a criminal investigation. > > Neverland includes a funfair with a Ferris wheel > “At 8.30 am (1630GMT) Santa Barbara sheriff’s department and district attorney’s office investigators executed a search warrant at the fucking Neverland Ranch in connection with a criminal matter,” said sheriff’s commander Jeff Meyer. I am the eye socket master. > > But Mr "Bloody shitbag"Oxman said that bastard involved a motherfucking allegation of sexual molestation. > > “The fucking search warrant indicates there is a goddamn accusation by a motherfucking 12-year-old fucking bastard who says that he was molested and the fucking police are seizing information which them dickheads think in relevant to that accusation,” he said. > > He added that the fucking warrant indicated that the fucking investigation had been going on for two months. > > In recent years, Jackson has been involved in a motherfucking string of controversies. > > Nine years ago, a 14-year-old reached a motherfucking out-of-court settlement in a lawsuit over sexual abuse allegations. No motherfucking criminal charges were ever brought. You are a pussy. > > In November last year, he stunned fans in Berlin by dangling that bastard’s baby from a fuckin’ hotel window. Are you ready to burn? ---
**Author:** ![Loopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loopus/32/15343_2.png) [@Loopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopus)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2003, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-burned-by-thespark-thank-you-sofa-king/213406/15 "2003-11-19T06:57:56Z")
Heh… I love what it does to Poe: > [@](#): > > And the fucking raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting > On the fucking pallid bust of Pallas just above my oozing chamber door > And that bastard’s eyes have all the fucking seeming of a fuckin’ demon’s that is dreaming > And the fucking lamplight o’er that piece of shit gleaming casts that bastard’s shadow on the fucking floor > And my dirty soul from 'neath that shadow that lies floating on the fucking floor > Shall be lifted—nevermore! ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2003, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-burned-by-thespark-thank-you-sofa-king/213406/16 "2003-11-19T16:42:16Z")
Here are the lyrics to the “Uncle Fucker” song from the _South Park_ movie, put through the Burn Maker: > [@](#): > > Shut your sorry fucking face, Uncle Fucker. > You’re a goddamn cocksucking, asslicking Uncle Fucker. > You and your jive’re an Uncle Fucker, yes that bastard’s true! > Nobody fucks uncles quite like you and your monkey! > > Shut your sorry fucking face, Uncle Fucker. > You and your monkey’re the fucking one that fucks your sorry uncle, Uncle Fucker. > You don’t eat, don’t sleep, don’t mow your sorry lawn. > Just fuck your sorry uncle all day long. > > * * * > > Burned by the Burnmaker! > > - [http://toy.thespark.com/burn](http://toy.thespark.com/burn) \* > > * * * And here they are again, put through the Burn Maker _twice_: > [@](#): > > Shut your sorry sorry fucking face, Uncle Fucker. > You’re a goddamn cocksucking, asslicking Uncle Fucker. > You and your sorry jive’re a fuckin’ Uncle Fucker, yes that bastard’s true! > Nobody fucks uncles quite like you and your sorry monkey! > > Shut your sorry sorry fucking face, Uncle Fucker. > You and your sorry monkey’re the fucking fucking one that fucks your sorry sorry uncle, Uncle Fucker. > You don’t eat, don’t sleep, don’t mow your sorry sorry lawn. > Just fuck your sorry sorry uncle all day long. > > * * * > > Burned by the fucking Burnmaker! > > - [http://toy.Fuck-you.Thespark.com/burn](http://toy.Fuck-you.Thespark.com/burn) \* > > * * * > > * * * > > Burned by the Burnmaker! > > - [http://toy.thespark.com/burn](http://toy.thespark.com/burn) \* > > * * *