# Get insulted in Latin -- it's CLASSY! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 27, 2000, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-insulted-in-latin-its-classy/23698 "2000-06-27T05:18:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-insulted-in-latin-its-classy/23698/1 "2000-06-27T05:18:31Z")
TOTIUS VOBIS FRONTEM TABERNAE SOPIONIBUS SCRIBAM _I am going to scrawl filth about you all over the wine shop wall Catullus, Poem 37_ I have this book I’ve mentioned before, [irl=“[http://britishbooks.site.yahoo.net/britishbooks/2239.html](http://britishbooks.site.yahoo.net/britishbooks/2239.html)”]How to Insult Abuse & Insinuate in Classical Latin[/irl]. It’s a very fun book that takes the words of some of the bitchiest guys ever, Roman authors, snatches them from their contexts, and translates them. Sometimes the translation is cleaned up some, like the illustrations. Other times the translation gets a little updated for modern English speakers. Most, however, are fairly straight translations. The entries are catagorized, so if you or your special someone have a special feature about which you would like the insult centered, let me know. Some are gender-specific, so I might need that, too. Okay, they’re all gender-specific, but I don’t speak Latin and am not about to correct them. I will also not do too many of them, since the book is copyrighted. Think of this as an interactive review. If you want more, buy the book. ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-insulted-in-latin-its-classy/23698/2 "2000-06-27T05:28:15Z")
Insult me BABY!!! ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-insulted-in-latin-its-classy/23698/3 "2000-06-27T05:28:47Z")
Oh go on. Insult me. ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-insulted-in-latin-its-classy/23698/4 "2000-06-27T05:29:36Z")
Oh, and can you make it dirty? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-insulted-in-latin-its-classy/23698/5 "2000-06-27T05:33:04Z")
Sure, drop. Insult me, and make it naughty if you want. 😉 And, just for good measure, give me a really good one for Mr Bear, and make it _very_ dirty. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Gunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gunslinger)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-insulted-in-latin-its-classy/23698/6 "2000-06-27T05:41:00Z")
My Latin teacher had that book in the classroom. Wish I’d stayed awake… My Latin quote: Carpe cerevisi! ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-insulted-in-latin-its-classy/23698/7 "2000-06-27T05:50:43Z")
Cheers Gunslinger - I’ll drink to that. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-insulted-in-latin-its-classy/23698/8 "2000-06-27T05:57:01Z")
Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo, Aureli pathice et cinaede Furi. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-insulted-in-latin-its-classy/23698/9 "2000-06-27T06:45:35Z")
Sue, this will sound better than what your ex said, until you get to the translation: SED INCITAT ME PECTUS ET MAMMAE PUTRES, EQUINA QUALES UBERA, VENTERQUE MOLLIS ET FEMUR TUMENTIBUS EXILE SURUS ADDITUM. _But of course what really gets me going about you is those dirty dugs hanging off your chest, like the nipples of an old nag, your spongy belly, and those wasted thighs atop your bulbous legs. Horace, Epode 8_ DPR, I only have your email for a real name and I guessed at the grammar for it, but here goes: ANTONE, QUOD SOLIUM SUBLUTO PODICE PERDIS, SPURCIUS UT FIAT, ANTONE, MERGE CAPUT. _Anthony, you ruin the bath by rinsing your rear end in it, but if you really want to insult it, Anthony, stick your head in it. Martial, Epigrams II.42_ Dear, sweet, Purplebear, how could I possibly insult you? Here’s how: FIANT ABSENTES ET TIBI, URSA, COMAE, NEC DENTES ALITER QUAM SERICA NOCTE REPONAS, ET IACEAS CENTUM CONDITA PYXIDIBUS, NEC TECUM FACIES TUA DORMIAT. _Your hair’s original owner was someone else’s head, Bear, and at night you put aside your teeth just like you put aside your silks. You lie, dismantled, in a hundred different boxes. Your face does not sleep with you. Martial, Epigrams IX.37_ Mr Bear, I don’t know much about you, but this is what your wife told me: MEDIISQUE IN NARIBUS INGENS GIBBUS ET ACRE MALUM SEMPER STILLANTIS OCELLI. _He had a huge carbuncle in the middle of his mug and an acrid ooze of nastiness always dribbling from his left eye. Juvenal, Satire 6_ Gunslinger, for sleeping when you should have been learning something useless: NUNC SUNT CRURA PILIS ET SUNT TIBI PECTORA SAETIS HORRIDA, SED MENS EST, JUSTINE, VULSA TIBI. _As it is, your legs are bristling with hair and your chest is a deep-shag rug, but your mind, Justin, has been plucked smooth. Martial, Epigrams II.36_ Matt, a special one just for you. As usual, I guessed on the name. Feel free to correct me (as you always do \): ODI TE QUIA BELLUS ES, MATTE. RES EST PUTIDA BELLUS; ET MATTE. BELLUM DENIQUE MALO QUAM MATTUM. TABESCAS UTNAM, MATTE, BELLE! _I hate you because you are a pretty-boy, Matt. In my book, prettiness is a dirty word. And so is Matt. I prefer war to Matt. Matt, go to hell! (Prettily.) Martial, Epigrams XII.39_ Ain’t that Martial a bitch? ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-insulted-in-latin-its-classy/23698/10 "2000-06-27T06:49:19Z")
I feel soiled (but in an intellectual way so that’s okay) ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-insulted-in-latin-its-classy/23698/11 "2000-06-27T13:56:00Z")
Facilis Decensus Averni… ---
**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-insulted-in-latin-its-classy/23698/12 "2000-06-27T15:46:50Z")
Ok, go ahead and insult me! And how do you say “You suck gerbil scrote” in Latin? ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-insulted-in-latin-its-classy/23698/13 "2000-06-27T16:46:42Z")
Insultantes Maximus, Me No Hearus to Many-us. Tu No Try-us Hardenufus! Sili ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-insulted-in-latin-its-classy/23698/14 "2000-06-27T17:01:25Z")
Semper ubi sub ubi. If you could arrange it, I’d love to know what “You are a monkey-face” is in Latin. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-insulted-in-latin-its-classy/23698/15 "2000-06-27T17:09:27Z")
While translating something in my third or fourth year of high school latin, I came across the word for brothel. SO if anyone ever pisses me off, I tell them this: Mater habitas in fornice. That is, “Your mother lives in a brothel” ---
**Author:** ![Nen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Nen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nen)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-insulted-in-latin-its-classy/23698/16 "2000-06-27T17:13:07Z")
Is it classy, or classical? Hit me. ---
**Author:** ![Minxsmom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d07c76/32.png) [@Minxsmom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Minxsmom)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-insulted-in-latin-its-classy/23698/17 "2000-06-27T17:13:33Z")
Can I have two insults? One for me, and one for all those dumb non-Yankee fans (especially those _Braves_ fans. If I can’t have two - just insult the Braves fans 😃 ---
**Author:** ![SILENT-BOB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@SILENT-BOB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SILENT-BOB)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-insulted-in-latin-its-classy/23698/18 "2000-06-27T17:39:10Z")
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-insulted-in-latin-its-classy/23698/19 "2000-06-27T17:45:11Z")
yeah, sure, i’d like to be insulted in latin. make it interesting and feminine. ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-insulted-in-latin-its-classy/23698/20 "2000-06-27T18:16:11Z")
Bring it on! Carpe _this_ punk! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-insulted-in-latin-its-classy/23698.md?page=2)